bullying victims can fight back with help from brazilian jiu-jitsu

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  • 8/2/2019 Bullying Victims Can Fight Back With Help From Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

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    As Real As It Gets: Bullying Victims Can Fight Back With Help From

    Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Royalty

    y: Steve Henson - August 24, 2011

    UFC 134 in Rio de Janeiro this weekendwill rightly include homage to the iconic Gracie family, creator

    Brazilian jiu-jitsu nearly 100 years ago, creators of the Ultimate Fighting Championship nearly 20 years ag

    reators of legendary family fighting figures and jiu-jitsu instructors that span the globe.

    But the Gracies' most positive impact might be felt at a middle school in a Denver suburb where a seventh

    grader is unafraid of bullies for the first time since he can remember.

    Martin Hendricks, 12, spent a week this summer at the Gracie Academy in Torrance, Calif., in an intensive

    program designed to make him"Bullyproof."He learned as many jiu-jitsu self-defense techniques as a kid

    an absorb in five days, he memorized a blueprint for dealing with a bully fairly and squarely, and he gaine

    elf-confidence. The first week of school he put the lessons into practice.

    I'm still a little nervous but it all went well," Hendricks said quietly in a phone call to Rener Gracie, his

    personal instructor at the academy. "He'll never bother me again. Let me tell you about it."

    ***

    t's back-to-school time all over the country. For kids that get picked on, it's a return to a horror zone. Expe

    ay that more than 150,000 children miss school every day because they are afraid of being bullied. More t

    half of all schoolchildren have witnessed a bullying incident and three of every four students say bullying i

    problem at their school.

    The bulk of bullying occurs from the fourth through the eighth

    grades, although it can continue through high school and even

    the workplace. Bullying is intimidation or domination toward

    someone perceived as weaker, a way to establish superiority

    through coercion or force. The emotional scars are often worse

    than the physical beatings, and victims of bullying often becom

    depressed and do poorly in school. Bullying can even lead to

    suicide.

    Rener Gracie, 27-year-old son of UFC originator Rorion Grac

    and grandson of legendary Brazilian jiu-jitsu grandmaster Heli

    Gracie, knows all the statistics. He recognized that the martial art perfected by three generations of his uncl

    and cousins is ideal for combating bullies. So he and his brother Ryron developed a program specifically foyoungsters who have been the target of taunts and shoves, kicks and punches.

    iu-jitsu is a strategic, relatively nonviolent method of self-defense. It utilizes leverage, locks and holds tha

    an neutralize a bigger, stronger opponent when both combatants are off their feet and grappling in close

    quarters. Combined with a clear understanding of the appropriate rules of engagement in a school setting,

    knowing the basics of jiu-jitsu can give a child the necessary tools to combat a bully.

    The program is engaging, it's fun and it will ensure that your son or daughter doesn't have to go through li

    at the mercy of tormenting bullies," Rener said.

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    Martin Hendricks was so timid when he arrived in Torrance last month with his mother and sister that he

    wouldn't speak to anyone at the Gracie Academy. Rener knew his background from speaking to his mother

    Martin had been bullied for many years by many kids and had simply taken it.

    His grades suffered and he would never stick up for himself," said his mother, Wendy. "He's a nice, gentle

    oul kind of kid and now he didn't even want to go to school.

    Bullying is an epidemic. It's horrible and schools sweep it under the carpet. It breaks my heart."

    Wendy learned about the Gracie Bullyproof program through this online video:

    She called Rener and decided to take her son to California. "I finally felt like I found somebody who gets

    his," she said.

    n addition to attending daily three-hour group classes, Martin was given private jiu-jitsu instruction by Ren

    each evening for a week. Then there was the mental training. Rener helped Martin understand that his fear

    bully hurting him was sensible. So was his fear of retaliating when he had no fighting skills.

    Rener asked him: "If we can eliminate the fear of injury through technique and preparation, would it makeense to stand up to the bully?"

    Yes," Martin replied.

    Let's do it."

    t took until Thursday for Martin to convincingly respond to a taunt by walking up to the instructor posing

    bully and saying with conviction, "Don't ever do that again."

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chsD7gZdZw0
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    Rener taught Martin the three T-steps: TALK to the bully and ask him to leave you alone. TELL the teache

    and your parent that the bully won't stop even after you've talked to him. TACKLE the bully and use jiu-jit

    o gain control of him without resorting to punches or kicks.

    If you draw that line with your words and the bully respects it, the case is closed without a physical

    altercation," Rener told Martin. "But if you draw that line and they slap you, kick you, cross that line again

    you don't think twice. You take both of your hands and push him as hard as you can in the chest. You blast

    him. Knock him off his feet.

    Then take control using jiu-jitsu and tell him you will let him go if he promises not to bother you any long

    f he won't say it, wait until a teacher or another adult shows up before letting him up."

    Martin nodded. Rener had given him a plan and taught him enough jiu-jitsu techniques to take control of a

    bully. Still, Martin wondered, would he be able to execute the plan when he returned to Colorado and starte

    chool the following week?

    ***

    Many schools across the U.S. have a "zero tolerance" policy regarding bullying and on-campus fights of ev

    ort, suspending any student involved because often it is difficult to assign blame. The Gracies support zeroolerance but point out that the policy doesn't work well in deterring verbal abuse -- the most common form

    bullying.

    That's why it is so important for a child being bullied to first ask

    he bully to stop the abuse, hopefully in a confident manner, then

    o inform a teacher or principal and their parent if the bullying

    persists," Rener said.

    Sometimes, Rener said, the behavior will end there because a

    chool administrator will contact the parent of the bully and thessue will be addressed at home. But bullies can be conniving,

    and after a short respite the abuse can start again when no adults

    are present.

    That's when it's time for the victim to consider using jiu-jitsu, zero tolerance or no zero tolerance. And it's w

    eaching jiu-jitsu self-defense and submission techniques separates the Gracie program from others that als

    emphasize verbal negotiations with bullies.

    It's a lot easier to get a bully to promise he won't bother you any more if you are on top of him pinning him

    down against his will," Rener said.

    The most injurious jiu-jitsu techniques aren't taught to kids. No chokes. Nothing that could render an oppon

    unconscious. It's a far different curriculum than the one that leads to advanced belts for adults, and it's far

    different from the Women Empowered program designed to help females fight off would-be rapists.

    That isn't to say the Bullyproof techniques can't be devastating in submitting a foe. The 33 junior combativ

    essons required for a student to pass the course -- at the Gracie Academy or online -- include some of the

    ame moves MMA stars Anderson Silva, Forrest Griffin and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira will employ at UF

    34 on Saturday.

    ***

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    Four days into the school year and Martin was getting bullied again. He'd asked the bigger, stronger boy to

    top calling him names and throwing a water bottle at him. But the abuse continued.

    Rener called and delivered a pep talk. "Martin, would you rath

    fight one time and be protected for the rest of your life, or do y

    want to get bullied for the rest of your life?"

    Martin sighed. "I'd rather fight once."

    "Do it, my friend," Rener said. "The bully still thinks he ownsyou. Tomorrow he will do the same thing. And when he does,

    you will engage. You don't ask permission, you don't stop, you

    just engage."

    The next day the bully not only bothered Martin, but he pestered Martin's friend so much that the boy shoo

    his head and said he might commit suicide. The bully then asked Martin if he could practice some new

    punching techniques on him, and hit him. Then he threw a water bottle at him.

    Everything Martin had learned during his week at the Gracie Academy bubbled to the surface. He jumped o

    he lunch bench and while in midair pushed the bully in the chest with both hands as hard as he could. Bothboys landed on the ground and Martin pinned the bully by placing his knee on his chest and holding his arm

    down with his own.

    t was a classic jiu-jitsu combination -- decisive and effective without causing trauma or blood.

    The bully was shocked and as he struggled in vain to get up he yelled that Martin was crazy. The bully's

    riends told Martin to get up, but as he told the principal later: "I chose not to."

    The principal took both boys into his office and called Wendy.

    I was absolutely thrilled," she said. "The school, of course,

    hought I was nuts. But I explained that this was a long time

    oming for Martin. He's still that kind kid. He stuck up for

    himself and for his friend.

    On Monday the principal called Martin into the office and let

    him know he wasn't in trouble. Fighting was not tolerated, he

    was told, but in this instance the response was appropriate.

    Neither Martin nor his mother told the school about his jiu-jitsu

    raining.

    The bully sought out Martin at lunch and apologized in front of other kids. Word got around the school. No

    onger is Martin the target of bullying -- from anybody.

    Martin had one more piece of business. He called Rener to thank him. "I couldn't have been more jazzed,"

    Rener said. "He went through the entire cycle of standing up for himself verbally first, then physically, but

    violently. He kept it humble, and allowed the bully to save face.

    No punches. No kicks. He just held him with Gracie jiu-jitsu. It's the gentle way."

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