Cyberbullying, Sports, and You

Ben Barry, School Counselor – Carlisle Middle School(and former coach, teacher, and Dad of 4 little ones)

Who Am I and What do I Do?

• Carlisle Middle School– 6-8 building– 2000+ students district-wide, 474 in middle school

including largest class in district– Rural school just outside major metro area

• Teacher/Educator for 12 years• Counselor for 5 years• Have Coached at MS and HS level• NOT a Bullying Expert, but like all of you,

constantly learning

Today’s Objectives• You will know what bullying and cyberbullying

actually is.• You will be able to identify if an issue is

bullying…or maybe just teasing• You will understand how your role as Coach is

key in preventing bullying• You will see many different simple ways you

could create a culture of no-tolerance for bullying, not just with your team, but with your entire school

Workshop Survey

• Please go to this website and take the 5 question survey. Your results will be shown during the 2nd hour of our focus on Bullying.

• Even better, you will be shown how you can use this survey tool as a way to get information on your team and their perceptions

• www.carlislecounseling.blogspot.com

What’s YOUR story?

Bully

“Bullying is a learned behavior. If it can be learned, it can be examined, and it can be changed.”

~ Barbara Coloroso

A Look at Ourselves

If bullying behavior is learned,did they learn it from us???

“When staff reach a consensus on what bullying is and agree to intervene to prevent and reduce it, rates of bullying drop significantly.”

~ Wright (2004) cited in SEL and Bullying Prevention (2009)

What is Bullying?

• “Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems.”

– www.stopbullying.gov

What Events are Bullying?

• Must have imbalance of power– Physical size, outnumber target, access to

information, controlling

• Causes lasting harm, target shows effects• Repetitive (but can be bullying sometimes

with just 1 event)• Can be physical (not likely), verbal, emotional,

social, cyber-related

Bullying vs. Teasing

• This is what I tell students…..– If target shows emotion or effects and

behavior/action STOPS….it is teasing – If target shows emotion or effects and

behavior/action continues or gets worse…it is bullying.

– When in doubt, address it with all involved– Don’t buy the “I was just joking or kidding” line

from aggressor. And target may also say it was just a joke, but follow up 1-on 1

Cyberbullying

• More on bullying later….but now, Cyberbullying!

• Waukee students show the true nastiness of Cyberbullying, but also show how a school can unite to be better.

Cyberbullying….Why Should Coaches Care?

• Almost all Cyberbullying or “Cyber Drama” will occur when athletes are not around the coach

• But that does not mean it is not the Coach’s issue to deal with or the school’s issue to deal with

Check Your School Policy

• ….And then consider updating it or meeting with your AD/principal/Superintendent

• If your student athlete is showing effects of being bullied and these effects show up during practices, games, or the school day…..

….it is a school, team, and Coach issue.

So What is Cyberbullying?

• Similar definition to bullying• But adds “involves sending offensive, humiliating, or

threatening messages or images through a computer, cell phone, or other internet-related device”

• Comments directly to target, to others about target, rumor-spreading, posting lies, made up web pages, sexting

» Educator’s Guide to Bullying Prevention

Cyberbullying Stats

• Over ½ of adolescents have been bullied online, about the same have engaged in cyberbullying

• 1/3 have experience cyberthreats• Over 25% have been bullied repeatedly through

their cell phones/Internet• More than half do not tell their parents when

cyberbullying occurs.• But….would they tell their coach?

YES!

• If you form a relationship and bond with your players, they may come to you before they go to a parent

• That bond and openness must start early: Coach’s meeting, camps, outside of practice time

• But remember to forge that same relationship with parents as well

But Wait…Why is Cyberbullying so Bad?

• 24 Hours• 7 Days a Week• 365 Days a Year

• Doesn’t end at 3:30, Doesn’t end on Friday, Doesn’t end at Summer Break.

• And the solution isn’t just telling the target to shut off their phone, close their computer, and delete their Facebook and Twitter

From Coaches/ADs

• It takes place more now via social media, texting, ect…it’s easy to hide behind a keyboard, and people don’t think sometimes before hitting the enter key.—Todd Gordon, Carlisle AD

• I think it is a bigger issue because of the use of social media to bully kids. I think that avenue makes it easier to hide behind their actions. —Mark Hoekstra, Carlisle Head Football Coach

Cyberbullying…Does it Really Matter?

• Gabrielle Molina• Audrie Pott• Josh Unsworth• Kenneth Weishuhn• Megan Meier

Yes, It Matters

Iowa Safe Schools LawAnti-Bullying/Harassment Law – Iowa Code 280.28

• Big Picture – No bullying/harassment by– students– school employees– school volunteers

• 17 protected traits/characteristics• Know Your State’s Laws when it comes to

bullying and harrassment, and your school’s policy

• 17 enumerated categories• Age• Color• Creed• National Origin• Race• Religion• Marital Status• Sex

• Sexual Orientation• Gender Identity• Physical Attributes• Physical/Mental Disability• Ancestry• Political Party Preference• Political Belief• Socioeconomic Status• Familial Status

Iowa Safe Schools LawAnti-Bullying/Harassment Law – Iowa Code 280.28

So now….back to just “regular Bullying”

• No such thing as “regular bullying”• 15-20% of students victimized by bullies during

school career• 1 in 3 is involved in bullying• 160,000 students skip school every day due to

fear of bullying• 71%-85% of bullying is not stopped by an adult• Bullying many times stops in seconds with peer

intervention

Risks of Bullying

• Team Unity• Player attrition• Patterns of behavior/Long-term Team Culture• Professional issues/lawsuits• Suicide

– 3rd leading cause of death in teens– 100 attempts for every completed suicide– Bully targets are 2-9 more likely to attempt

So What Do You Do?

• LISTEN to issue• Report issues to superiors• Investigate issue to see if it is truly bullying• Address issue with students/athletes involved• Contact parents• Do not try “Conflict resolution” with bully and

target if issue is truly bullying

What do Your Athlete Targets Want You to Do?

• When targets of bullying were surveyed about what they want and do not want adults to do– They wanted adults….

• Listen to them• Validate their concerns and feelings, believe event• Address issue

– They did not want adults….• To talk to bully with them• Punish the Bully• To solve the issue

What Can You Do Before Bullying Happens?

• Talk to players• Talk to parents• Seek help from resources (School counselor!)• Use Technology and social media…be a role

model• Special Events/Promotions• Be there and listen

Social Media and Blogs

• Facebook account• Twitter• Blog site for your sport/team• Old fashioned emails and newsletters??

www.carlislecounseling.blogspot.com

My “Got Guts?” campaign

• Modeled after “Got Milk?” ads• Made 10 black posters with white lettering• Used different body parts, senses, etc.• Posted around building for month of October

• How could a Coach/team do this?

My “Be a Lifesaver” Campaign

• Found and typed up 10-15 bullying facts• Added some Carlisle comparison information to

make more real and current• Student council students stapled facts to

individual lifesavers• Posted “Be a Life Saver” poster in Commons• Student council reps handed out life saver to all

474 students at lunch• How could a Coach/team do this?

My “Blue Jeans for Bully-Free School” Campaign

• Coordinated it with launch of other campaigns and National Stomp Out Bullying Day

• All staff wore blue jeans (they loved this!)• Moving it to district-wide next year• Encouraged students district-wide to wear

blue on that day as well.

• How could a Coach/team do this?

Use Automotivator to Make School Signs

Parent/Team Meeting

• Most of you already have parent/team meetings

• Address Bullying/Cyberbullying specifically• Consider emailing or mailing specific

information to parents on the topic• Team meeting, even just 5-10 minutes, about

a No-tolerance policy on bullying

Gather Data!

• 1-on-1 interviews• Mid-season contact with player and/or

parents• Survey online (I use Google Forms)

– Quick, easy for players or parents– Get instant data– Act on the data!– Publish the data!

Get Data!

• Needs Assessment for different groups• Iowa Youth Survey (many states have these)• Self-created Bullying/Harassment Survey• Observational Data• Bullying/Harassment forms• Referral Data: Grade, location, time

Use the Data• Review with players, coaches, administration,

parents, counselor, etc.• Share the data….be public!

• All Schools have issues with bullying and harrassment, but the good schools gather the data, use the data, and try to problem-solve!

• And they do not shy away from the issue, they confront it! (Example….Sioux City & “Bully” movie

Scenarios

But the Most Important Things You Can Do are the Easiest….

Listen Support

Care

Follow up/through

Targets of bullying want to be heard, listened to, supported, and helped. This can be the most impactful thing you do and might just be the best fix to any bullying problems in your school

So…..What WILL You do?

• Think about all you have heard and discussed today

• What is ONE thing you will do when you go back to your district and your team.

• Write that ONE thing on two different sticky notes

• Keep one and post the other

To Finish….

• Athletes many times make the best role models….

“Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear,

but around in awareness.”

~James Thurber