BULLYINGADAPTED FROM PREVENTING BULLYING AND HARASSMENT BY SALLY STOKER, MSW

Mr. Schwartz, School Psychologist

Did you know?

In the average elementary classroom, 2 to 3 students feel afraid on a regular basis.

On the playground there are on average 4.5-6.5 bullying incidences per hour.

Six out of 10 teens witness bullying and harassment at least once per day.

36% of elementary students and 5% of high school students who are bullied report it to adults.

Bullying peaks in middle school.

Cyber Bullying

42% of kids have been bullied while online. One in 4 have had it happen more than once.

35% of kids have been threatened online. Nearly 1 in 5 have had it happen more than once.

58% admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than 4 out of 10 has happened more than once.

Definition of Bullying:

A person is being bullied or victimized when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more persons.

Normal Conflict Vs. Bullying

Equal power or friends Happens occasionally Accidental Not serious Equal emotional reaction Not seeking power or

attention Not trying to get something Remorse-takes responsibility Effort to solve the problem

Imbalance of power, not friends

Repeated negative actions Purposeful Serious with threat of physical

or emotional harm Strong emotional reaction

from victim; little or no reaction from bully

Seeking power, control Attempts to gain power No remorse-blames victims No effort to solve problems

Forms of Bullying & Harassment

Physical aggression Verbal aggression Non-verbal aggression Intimidation Racial, religious, and

ethnic harassment

Sexual harassment Sexual orientation

harassment Electronic/cyber

bullying Hazing Dating violence

The Players

Bullies Victims/Targets Bystanders

Characteristics of bullies

Value the rewards that aggression can bring Lack empathy and compassion Lack guilt and blame the victim Like to be in charge and to dominate Aggressive role models Think in unrealistic ways: have thinking errors

Common thinking errors

Everyone should always go my way I don’t care if I hurt other people I shouldn’t have to follow rules or do boring things Lying can keep you out of trouble I never make mistakes and things are never my

fault Irrational thinking…

Consequences of bullies?

Types of victims

Most typical & recognizable type of victim

Non-assertive and submissive

Provokes others: is argumentative & aggressive

Instigates conflict to gain negative attention

Easily emotionally aroused

Poor impulse control

Passive Victims Proactive Victims

The downward spiral of victimization

Repeated bulling…

Lowered self-esteem…

More ineffective responses…

More bullying…

Increased disapproval/avoidance by peers…

Self-blaming, “I deserve it...”

Helplessness…

More bullying…

Consequences for victims?

Consequences for victims…

Academic: lowered academic achievement, impaired concentration, dislike of school…

Physical: frequent illnesses, anxiety, stomachaches, sleep difficulties…

Emotional: lowered self-esteem, hypersensitivity, nervousness, worry, feelings of isolation…

Is there a group of students we are forgetting?

Bystanders

Most ignored and underused resource in schools The silent majority (the caring majority):

approximately 85% of a school population Become desensitized over time Diminished empathy

Why don’t they get involved?

Fear of retaliation Don’t know what to do Afraid they’ll make things worse Worry about losing social status Don’t believe that adults will help Don’t believe it is their responsibility

Roles of bystanders

1. Assistants: join in the bullying

2. Reinforcers: give positive feedback to the bully

3. Outsiders: stay away, do nothing

4. Defenders: do something to stop the bullying

Consequences of bystanders

Feelings of anxiety and guilt Lowered sense of self-respect/confidence Development of a sense of personal powerlessness Diminished sense of empathy

“Get up, stand up: stand up for your rights, Get up, stand up: don’t give up the fight!” –Bob Marley

Taking a stand… Any positive behavior that supports the caring

majority or caring community…

Strategies for bystanders…

Normalize fears and worries Emphasize strength in numbers Learn skills and strategies to take a stand Brainstorm all sources of help at school: teachers,

social worker, a.p., principal… Different ways to obtain help: anonymously, by

yourself, in a group…

Self-talk

Use positive self-talk to maintain a positive self-esteem during a bullying situation

Rehearse mental strategies to avoid getting hooked by the bully

Think positive statements about self and accomplishments

Additional Strategies…

Dilemmas

1. Your walking down the hallway and you witness someone shoving a friend of yours. What do you do?

3. Before class begins you hear someone making fun of the person next to you. What do you do?

5. You are hanging out with your group of friends during the weekend and your friends begin teasing a member of the group. What do you do?

Social Story

Most people have witnessed bullying during their schooling. When I see someone being made fun of I try to do something. Sometimes I tell an teacher, principal, or parent. When I feel bold, I immediately speak up and try to intervene. The more I stand up the easier it becomes.

In the future…

Contact your parent, sibling, coach, teacher, Mr. Schwartz, Mrs. Weldon, Mr. Meyer, Ms. Motsenbocker… with questions and concerns.