bring your whole self to work
TRANSCRIPT
Bring Your Whole Self to WorkMaking friends, influencing people, and getting sh*t done without selling out,
acting like a robot, or becoming a danger to yourself and others.
Hi. My name is Charlotte,
and I am not a robot.
You shouldn’t be, either.
Lowlights of my “professional” career:
• Worked as an office manager for a nut who continually tried to convert coworkers to his fundamentalist religion. Was told it was “unprofessional” to wear backless shoes to work. In Texas. In August.
• Worked as a technical support manager for a sexist asshole who frequently got drunk in the office. Was told it was “unprofessional” to meet with my coworkers for dinner after work.
• Worked as a project manager for a hedge fund and found that junior male members of my team were making more money than I was as the senior. Was told it was “unprofessional” to ask for wage parity.
I began to suspect that “professionalism” is a code word for institutionalized asshattery.
It took me 10 years to figure this out:The phrase “you’re not acting professionally” actually means “I feel a negative emotion, I don’t like the way
I’m feeling, and I’m telling myself that it’s all your fault.”
The code of “professionalism” tells us...• To NOT speak our minds when we have an opinion or idea that differs from
opinions held by our managers or colleagues.
• To push interpersonal issues under the rug and be falsely cordial to our colleagues, rather than addressing issues as they arise and creating durable bonds with our coworkers.
• To hide away aspects of our personal lives that are intrinsic to our worldview and affect how we perceive our work and make decisions (e.g., our race, culture, orientation, etc).
• That we must constantly strive to please everyone around us, no matter how unpleasant or unreasonable we find them to be, and that we are responsible for others’ emotions.
The code of “professionalism” is simply a double standard.
This, brothers and sisters,is bullshit.
Humans are not robots.
Humans are complex creatures who actually perform better and enjoy their jobs more when they can express themselves freely.
There is an alternative torampant professionalism.
Stop thinking about people as “them,” and start thinking about
them as people.
Speak openly to one another about interpersonal issues and
other hard things.
Be mindful of your own emotions and how you express them - and
how that expression affects others.
Be mindful of how others are expressing their emotions - and how that expression affects you.
Share experiences:past, present, and future.
Maintain a sense of perspective and - preferably - humor.
Norly, is this actually doable?
Yes, if you remember a few things:
Start by showing authenticity yourself, and others may follow.
It’s scary not to please people.
Tell others why.
Insist on being treated well,and treat others accordingly.
I have been Charlotte, and you have been a lovely set of unique individuals...
possibly with some questions?
Call me maybe:
de.linkedin.com/in/charlottebowen