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Tips for Brides to make their wedding day special.

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  • 2 ECT FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2011

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    There are many grooms-to-be who leave choosing their wedding day attire to the last minute. After all, its something that doesnt re-quire much thought at all, right?

    Actually, choosing your attire requires careful consideration of several variables. As such, many men are intimidated by the process, another reason for procrastination. However, acquiring a few pointers will help make the process easier if you have limited experience with wedding day attire.

    Its fi rst important to consider the style of your wedding. What time is it being held? What is the size of the wedding party and the number of at-tendants? Will it be held in a church with a reception at a fancy catering hall, or is it a more laid-back affair at a park or on the beach? All of these questions will help determine the formality of the event. Your ward-robe choices should coincide with this level of formality.

    Tuxedos are often the attire of choice for weddings that are moder-ately or ultra formal. A tuxedo with a bow tie and tails is a very formal look. For the majority of weddings a tuxedo without tails, with a match-ing vest and regular tie, will be ad-equate for the groom and grooms-men. On some occasions, especially casual weddings, grooms choose to wear a sports jacket and slacks rath-er than a tuxedo.

    Tuxedoes are fl attering for most men, especially when a black tuxe-do is chosen. Black is slimming, and simply slipping into a tuxedo can enable anyone to look sophisticated. Working with a tuxedo shop repre-sentative can help you to fi nd a tux-edo that fi ts well. These garments are available in a number of sizes, but a reputable shop will make mi-nor alterations to ensure a perfect fi t. You want to be sure there is no pulling in the jacket and that the

    pants are a good length. Also, shirt sleeve length is important (the cuffs should extend past the jacket a little bit), as well as the fi t of the shirt col-lar. You want to be comfortable the entire duration of your wedding.

    Tuxedo jackets come in many

    styles, with the basics being single- or double-breasted. Double-breasted jackets may add a little bulk, which should be avoided by heavy men or those who are very slim. Jackets also come in different lengths. Choose one that is proportionate to your

    height so your body does not look overwhelmed by the jacket. Here are a few of the styles:

    * Cutaway jacket: This jacket is shorter in the front and tapers to one longer tail in the back. It is tradition-ally a formal daytime jacket.

    * Traditional tuxedo jacket: As mentioned, this can be single- or double-breasted and feature varied numbers of button closures. The la-pels may also be varied. A peaked lapel forms a V at the collar and points upward. A notched lapel has

    an indentation at the collar in the shape of a triangle. A shawl lapel has no indentation and smoothly curves around the neck.

    * Mandarin jacket: Mandarin-style jackets do not have a lapel but a collar that stands straight up. There are six buttons along the front. It is worn with a mandarin-style shirt without a tie.

    * Long coat: The long coat is best worn by tall, broad-shouldered men and is traditional in colder weather. The coat extends beyond the fi nger-tips of the wearer.

    * Dinner jacket: This is a variation on the regular tuxedo jacket, but it is usually ivory or white in color. This can set the groom apart from other members of the wedding party.

    Many grooms-to-be opt to rent their tuxedo instead of purchase one. Wedding experts recommend renting the attire three months be-fore the wedding. All groomsmen should rent their tuxedos from the same shop for a uniform look. It is also customary to coordinate the tuxedos with the gowns brides-maids will be wearing. One way to do so is with a similar colored tie, vest or cummerbund. Take a color swatch of one of the bridesmaids gowns with you to the tuxedo store for assistance with matching the look.

    Pick up the tuxedo a day or two before the wedding and try on every piece, including the shoes, to check for fi t. This way you have time for an exchange if something is not right or to pick up a missing tie or cuffl ink, which is apt to happen.

    Rented tuxedoes usually need to be returned the day after the wed-ding or the next business day. Elect a member of the wedding party to handle tuxedo returns because youre likely to be on your honey-moon at this point.

    BR091698

    Tuxedo Choices for Your Wedding Day

    A tuxedo should coordinate with the formality and style of a wedding.

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    Being asked to be someones best man or maid of honor is an honor to be cherished. Often the best friend of the groom or bride, the best man and maid of honor often want to reciprocate the honor of their role with a toast that illustrates just how much they care for the bride or groom.

    But once the time comes to sit down and think about their toast, the best man or maid of honor are often in the dark. Giving a wedding toast, after all, is not an everyday event, and for many people it will

    be a one-time experience, if theyre even asked at all. Though a certain amount of pressure comes with the responsibility of giving a toast, keeping a few ideas in mind when writing a toast will make the pro-cess go more smoothly.

    * Thank the guests. Thanking the guests for attending is a good way to break the ice. Be sure to thank the hosts as well. Traditionally, the hosts are the brides parents. However, thanks to the escalating costs of weddings, many are now fi nanced by both the bride and grooms parents, and oftentimes by the bride and groom themselves. Therefore, you can avoid any mis-steps and simply thank the parents of the bride and groom after thank-ing the guests for joining in the fes-tivities.

    * Introduce yourself. While the bride and groom certainly know who you are, chances are many of the guests do not. Many weddings boast guest lists with more than 100 people, so introduce yourself at the beginning of your toast. When doing so, you can explain your re-lationship to the bride or groom (i.e., older/younger sibling, college roommate, etc.).

    * Keep things light. While jokes should remain appropriate (every wedding has kids in attendance), keeping the toast jovial is a good way to keep the festive mood of the day going. While its important

    to get across how much you cher-ish being the best man or maid of honor, a jovial approach to doing so will be enjoyed by all, and your message will still come across to the bride and groom as well.

    * Add an anecdote. The best man or maid of honor no doubt have many funny anecdotes to tell about the bride or groom. Add a light-hearted anecdote that illustrates your relationship to the bride or groom and how much they mean to you. An older brother, for instnace, might tell a tale of the innocent jok-ing around brothers do, while a

    younger sister might spin a funny yarn about how she once used all of her older sisters makeup. Just make sure the anecdote is appropri-ate for everyone in the audience.

    * Raise a glass, but do so after the toast, and not before. While ev-eryone knows to raise a glass at the end of the toast, some best men or maids of honor raise one too many glasses before its time to give their toast. Dont drink to excess before its time for you to give your toast, or youll risk being the talk of the re-ception for all the wrong reasons.

    BR101981

    Tips for a Toast to Remember

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    In a recent survey released by Visa Inc., 88 percent of couples believed they overspent on some aspect of their wedding. Over the years, wed-dings have become a major fi nancial commitment, in many instances en-suring a couples fi rst task as man and wife will be paying off the moun-tain of bills they accrued to achieved their dream wedding.

    In todays economic climate, the cost of weddings is even tougher to swallow, as both the domestic and global economy remains diffi cult to predict. Economic uncertainty has left many young couples fearful of making a big fi nancial commitment to their weddings. But its still pos-sible for couples to make the most of their wedding without landing themselves in heavy debt once the honeymoon is over and the bills must be paid.

    * Limit beverage availability. In the Visa survey, respondents felt they overspent more on food, drink and cake than any other aspect of their wedding. The bar tab can quickly add up at the end of the night, but couples can limit the bar expense by making on a few different types of drinks available. Offer just two or three drink options instead of a full bar. Couples can also consider a cash bar for mixed drinks to help lower the bar tab by the end of the night.

    * Switch from Saturday. Saturday weddings are not only the most pop-ular, but also the most expensive. Couples with some fl exibility can save money by moving their wed-ding to a Friday or Sunday. Couples

    who move their weddings to Friday often fi nd they get to spend more time with their friends and families the following day, as guests are more inclined to stay in town an extra day than they are on Sunday afternoons following a wedding.

    * Forgo a traditional honeymoon. Seventeen percent of male respon-dents to the Visa survey felt they overspent on their honeymoon. While its certainly nice to fl y off to the Caribbean and spend your fi rst week as a married couple soaking up some sun, a more local getaway for a couple of days can be just as re-laxing and save couples substantial amounts of money. Once the bills have been paid, couples can then en-joy a more traditional honeymoon, possibly in celebration of their fi rst anniversary.

    * Limit the guest list. Inviting all friends and family members might be a nice gesture, but its also an ex-pensive one. Cost-conscious couples can save a good deal of money by only inviting those friends and fami-ly members who are closest to them.

    * Order less extravagant fl oral ar-rangements. Floral arrangements for a wedding can prove very expensive. But couples can trim those costs us-ing more greenery in the fl oral dis-plays and ordering less expensive, seasonal fl owers. When discussing arrangements with the fl orist, ex-plain that the budget can only allow so much for fl owers, and work to-gether to fi nd ways to add aesthetic appeal without breaking the bank.

    BR111297

    Financial Tips for Cost-Conscious Couples

    Choosing less extravagant fl oral arrangements is one way couples can save money on wedding expenses.

  • 5 ECT FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2011

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    After a bride says I do to a life with her new husband, she often says I do to a new last name. Whether she takes the name as a loving gesture, to make it more convenient when having kids, or simply to rid herself of an unappealing maiden name, changing her surname will require some steps to ensure the legality of a change in identity.

    Because a name change will require a copy of the marriage certifi cate -- some-thing that isnt often obtained until af-ter the ceremony -- its best to wait until after youve returned from a honey-moon to change documentation. Also, in order to travel, you may require birth certifi cates, passports, a license, or an-other form of ID. It will be impossible to change all of those forms of identifi -cation before the wedding. Inconsistent documentation could cause hang-ups in the travel process. Additionally, you may be charged if you try to change your name on airline tickets after theyve already been issued. Therefore, enjoy your maiden name a little longer

    until the honeymoon bliss is over and its back to reality.

    Ready to get started? Here are most of the documents youll need to change as you take on your new married name.

    1. Social Security Card: If you are a U.S. resident, you will need to go to your local social security offi ce, or download a form from the IRS Web site to apply for a change of name on your social se-curity card. It takes approximately 10 days after the application is received for the IRS to update the records. In Canada you will need to change your Social Insurance Number card.

    2. Drivers license: In order to change your drivers license and vehicle regis-tration, youll likely have to visit the Department of Motor Vehicles, or what-ever the agency is called in your area. You will need several forms of identifi -cation, two of which will be your mar-riage certifi cate proving change of name and your social security card. Also have your old drivers license with you.

    3. Passport: Contact the Passport Agency to update your name on your passport. You may or may not be charged for the new issue depending upon how long its been since you ap-plied for a passport.

    4. Insurance policies: If you have health insurance, life insurance, or a 401(k) plan, you should communicate your change of name to the respective companies.

    5. Bank accounts: Guests will likely issue gift checks in your married name or as a couple. It helps to have an ac-count available in which to deposit those checks. You can choose to merge your banking accounts once married, or open up a joint account with your new name.

    6. Employer: Have your employer change your name in their records and update payroll and any other services. You will also want to update e-mail stationery to refl ect your new name and have your IT director change your information for computer logins and e-mail addresses. A courtesy e-mail to clients will fi ll them in on your name change.

    7. Credit card & utility companies: Notify these companies of a change of name. Some may require written docu-mentation to complete the change.

    8. Wills and other legal contracts: Have legal documents amended to fea-ture your updated name. You may want to change your benefi ciary to your hus-band. BR101977

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    It is customary for the bride- and groom-to-be to show their gratitude to all of the people who will make their wedding day spe-cial. Weddings today feature people who have roles that go be-yond the traditional, like interior decora-tors and musical solo-ists. Its important to remember to thank everyone who contrib-utes to the celebration.

    Thank-you gifts should be something thoughtful and endur-ing. Avoid fad or gag gifts. These gifts should be presented at a pre-wedding occasion. Its customarily done at the rehearsal dinner.

    Crafting personal-ized remarks is a nice way to call attention to the unique tasks of each wedding par-ticipant. Dont simply pass the gifts out in one fell swoop. This way the gift will have more meaning through a personal message.

    Dont let thank-you gifts be forgotten. Start thinking of gift ideas early on and plan for any extra time for en-graving or other per-sonalization.

    GroomsmenWhen selecting

    gifts for groomsmen, think about a gift they would like but prob-ably wouldnt buy themselves. This can be cuff links, a fi ne watch, money clip, or a high-quality wallet. Feel free to splurge a little more on the best man.

    BridesmaidsTraditional gifts for

    bridesmaids are dif-ferent types of jewelry. Monogrammed statio-nery, a spa treatment, or another pampering ses-sion. As you have with the best man, feel free to bestow a little more thanks on the maid of honor with a more lav-ish gift. Younger bridal

    party members can get a similar gift, but one in scale with their ages.

    ClergyMany couples choose

    to make a fi nancial do-nation to their house of worship. Additional tipping or monetary gifts for musicians, alter boys/girls, etc. can also be a thought-ful gesture. A donation toward an offi ciants vestments may also be appreciated.

    Parents of the Bride and Groom

    The couple may choose to bestow a gift on their parents, which

    can be especially mean-ingful if the parents are taking care of the fi nancial responsibility of the wedding. Jewel-ry or fi ne gifts in simi-lar scope to that of the bridal party are good ideas. Consider en-graved picture frames that can house a wed-ding portrait down the road.

    OthersReaders, soloists,

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    As weddings have become less regimented and more expensive, the traditional bridal party is of-ten pared down to a best man and a bridesmaid or two. Their roles, however, have remained constant through the years.

    Whether the wedding youve got in mind is large or small, formal or casual, conventional or original, its helpful to have a sense of the roles that bridal party members have played through the years.

    * Maid of Honor -- Usually the closest friend of the bride and sometimes a relative. A married, di-vorced, widowed, or older woman might be called the matron of honor. She assists with the details of the wedding plans, like shopping for the bridal gown, addressing invitations and choosing fl ow-ers. She arranges the bridal shower in conjunction with the brides family, is in charge of coordinat-ing the bridesmaids and organizing fi ttings, and typically signs the couples certifi cate of marriage

    or wedding license as a legal witness. At the recep-tion, she should stand immediately after the groom in the receiving line.

    * Best Man -- Commonly the grooms best friend, relative or not, the best man is in charge of in-structing the ushers and coordinating the grooms transportation to the ceremony. He usually holds the rings until the ceremony and will also sign the marriage certifi cate as a legal witness. At the recep-tion, he holds a place of honor, escorting the maid of honor in the receiving line and in all other wed-ding party activities. Hes also the toastmaster, of-fering the fi rst toast to the couple.

    * Bridesmaids and Ushers -- Typically friends or relatives of the bride, bridesmaids may be asked to coordinate special details during the ceremony preparations or at the reception, and assist the bride and the maid of honor. Ushers (sometimes also known as groomsmen) should be prepared for an early arrival at the ceremony to escort female

    guests to their seats. During the ceremony, they will escort the bridesmaids down the aisle. They may also be asked to coordinate the guests trip from the ceremony to the reception as well as assist the groom and the best man.

    * Flower Girl and Ring Bearer -- The fl ower girl carries a basket of fl ower petals to sprinkle down the aisle, or fl owers to be passed out to the women seated near the aisle. The ring bearer may either es-cort the fl ower girl down the aisle, or follow her, with the rings on a pillow.

    * Father of the Bride -- His most conspicuous duty is giving away the bride at the ceremony. He might also fulfi ll numerous rolls, such as co-ordinating transportation, dancing and toasting. Traditionally, he and the mother of the bride have paid for the wedding and reception but today it is common for expenses to be shared by both families along with the bride and groom themselves.

    BR101928

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    While couples about to get married may differ with respect to personal style or what season in which to hold their wedding, most agree that having photo memories of their wedding is es-sential. Thats why a photogra-pher is such an important part of the wedding planning process.

    Although professional wed-ding portraits and albums are a key component to good memo-ries, candid shots from you -- the family and friends who attend the wedding -- are some of the most cherished photos a couple can have. Here are some tips for capturing all the incredible mo-ments of this important day.

    * Familiarize yourself with the camera: Take some time to learn

    the ins and outs of your camera before youre called upon to take pictures of the wedding. Learn the best way to zoom and fo-cus, and find out if your camera has any special features, such as black and white capabilities or panoramic views. Also, dont forget to charge or replace the batteries. For those with digital memory cards, purchase a new one with plenty of space so you can freely snap away.

    * Tell a story: Start taking pictures before the wedding even occurs. If youre a friend or a family member, capture the special events leading up to the wedding, such as dress fit-tings, choosing wedding rings, the bridal shower, or shots of

    the bachelor party. This way the photos can be put together to tell

    the entire story of the wedding, culminating with the big day.

    * Go for the close-up: Stand no more than 4 to 6 feet from your subjects when snapping a picture. You want to be sure the couple is the central focus of the picture, not the distracting back-ground items.

    * Shoot candid shots: Posed pictures have their place, but candid shots can really capture the mood and excitement of the day. Snap away while everyone is dancing, when the couple isnt looking, or if you see a special moment that others may not be aware of.

    * Include pictures of party participants: The couple will have plenty of images of them-

    selves and their wedding party in a photographers album. What they may be missing are the people who actually attend-ed the wedding. Be sure to take plenty of pictures of the people who came together to share in this special day.

    * Special surprise: Thanks to the immediate gratification that digital cameras provide, you can treat the happy couple to a preview of their wedding pic-tures even before the big day has ended. Use the time between the wedding ceremony and recep-tion to have a few prints of the nuptials printed. Place them in a photo album and give this gift to the couple at the reception.

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    There are infi nite opportunities for uniqueness with wedding invitations, which is why selecting the right invitation is often one of the most confusing aspects of planning a wedding.Invitations are usually your fi rst line of communication regarding the upcoming celebration, and they typically set the tone of the affair and what guests should expect. Wedding etiquette experts also say that gift-giving is subject to infl uence by the type of invitation received. Guests also tend to determine what they will wear to the wedding depending upon the invitation.All of these perceptions about the wedding are made even before guests read the fi rst line of sentiment on the invitation itself. With so much inferred meaning placed on invitations, its no wonder you may be ner-vous about choosing and sending out invitations. Here are some pointers so youll make the right decisions.There are many personalization options at your dispos-al with wedding invitations. Youll be able to choose the texture, color and shape of the paper, as well as the

    font and ink color in many cases. These selections can be combined with other embellishments, such as enve-lope linings, extra layers of paper, vellum accents, rib-bons, and calligraphy styles. You may also be able to select a monogram or artwork to further embellish the invitation.If your wedding will be a formal affair, choose a classic style invitation that will refl ect the formalness of the affair. If your wedding will be casual, choose a design and font that expresses that feeling.Here are some other tips to consider:* Wait until you have defi nite times and locations for the ceremony and reception before submitting any wording to the invitation company. * Type out the wording you prefer with a word-pro-cessing program on your computer. Run a spell-check and print it out and read it over several times. This will cut down on the chances for error once the wording is sent for printing.* To know how many invitations to order, take the fore-

    casted number of guests and divide that number by two. Then add 25 to 30 additional invitations for any single guests you may be inviting as well as to have ex-tras on hand in case you make a mistake addressing the invitation. So if you are inviting 150 people (assuming most will come as couples), order 100 invitations.* Many people opt to print out addresses on the invi-tation envelope themselves. While home printers and software packages have certainly advanced, it may be diffi cult to match the font and style of your invita-tion. Furthermore, while hand-addressing invitations is more time-consuming, it adds a personalized touch and shows you care about those invited.* Make sure you bring an invitation to the post offi ce to be weighed so you can determine how much post-age you will need. Mail them 4 to 6 weeks before the wedding to allow for response time. Its customary to enclose a response card with postage already applied so guests can simply drop their RSVP in the mail.

    BR091747

    Treat Guests to an Inviting Message