book excerpt- never the hope itself: love and ghosts in latin america and haiti

8/4/2019 Book Excerpt- Never the Hope Itself: Love and Ghosts in Latin America and Haiti

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Buenos das, Seor Hadden. How wa e Carean?

Una locura, I mmle o e concerge a I en-

ere my oel ack n Mexco Cy. Madness.

I roppe my ag n my room an wen rag acro

e ree o a parmacy on Drango Sree. I ecremy ympom o e parmac, owng m my weay

palm. He lene mpavely en roppe a ook on e

coner. I wa a large encyclopea o llnee an er

remee. I egan earcng rog e ympom nex

an narrowe ng own o ao x nre pole

eae. Don ow ook o ypoconrac, I a.

akng a gamle I og a week wor o ome anoc,wc n elp.

Beore long I on e oe a wol ecome e new

Mexco Cy NPR rea. I wa a ree-ory row oe

w a wo-ere roo eck an llar-ale-green, wall-o-

wall carpeng on e man foor. Te wall emelve were

NeverTheHopeItself_i_viii_1_346.indd 37 6/20/11 10:59 AM


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Gerry HaddeN38

pane wo complemenary ae o ark, mole copper.Te place wa ca n eernal wlg. In one corner o e

lvng room, enea a long gle wall mrror, oo a y

lack pano w a canelara on . Uner e canelara

wa prea an nrcae we lk oly w gray ln col-

lece aron rlly ege.

Te place coln ave een pooker.

In lovely? a Cry, e owner, a e owe me

aron. Cry ol car nrance an wore lo o Mexcan

lver. Wen e poke, no maer wa e wa ayng, e

one lke e wa conng n yo.

Tere were we ole ner almo every ojec n e

va lvng room. I wa an agorapoc granmoer para-

e, a val o elcae cna an cnz coce. B a a

oan ollar a mon wa a eal.

I nere place rom my moer, Cry ol me.Yo e e r peron o lve ere nce e pae away

a year ago. I n perec conon.

In ac wa a me caple. Aer er moer e

Cry a mply eale e oe p. Se an even

cleane o er mom elongng rom e aroom raw-

er an kcen cpoar. Walkng e oe alone aer

Cry le I on e mararc peronal eec lle nealy n er place: ole o arpray enea e

aroom nk, a pnk ar o oap n e a oap ,

awl an ree n an par eroom cloe, anwr-

en leer nle n a ek rawer, a lrary car rom

e 1940, a Mexcan rver lcene rom 1968 earng a



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Never tHe Hope Itself 39

lack-an-we poo o a yong woman w a pompa-or aro. I ece I wol pack all o ee em away

e nex mornng eore npackng my own ng. I n

wan o eel a I were arng e oe w omeone ele.

Ta r ng I lep n e granmoer e, a ngle,

lng ox prng w a re velve eprea an an p-

olere clamell eaoar wrappe n plac. I no

leep only. Te nex mornng I on among my mov-

ng oxe one laele buddhist stu an carre no

a mall annex o e ge eroom. My ea wa o e

e pace a a make rne room. I wa lookng or-

war o akng ome me, even j a ew mne, o le e

wrlwn o e la week play el o n e ole o

meaon. A mall momen wo analye or ealne.

T wa ow I magne I mg conne my pracce n

e m o wa I col now ee wa gong o e my glyrreglar leyle.

Wen my rne room wa more or le e p I pae

ownar o ee e mararc a y cance le any co-

ee en. A I rone e lanng a le o e lvng

room I on myel lookng own a a yong man ng

on one o e ol cnz coce. He wa alkng on e ele-

pone. My elepone. He looke p a me wo expre-on. I rne aron an rerne o my room an calle

Cry on my cell pone.

Cry, buenos das, I a. Len, ere a gy on e

coc ng e lan lne.

Wa? Wa oe e look lke?



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Gerry HaddeN40

Dark ar, mem ark complexon, maye egeenyear ol.

A, a Alejanro! e a.

A.

Ye, a Alejanro.

An wo Alejanro? I ake.

He e on o Conca.

Wo Conca?

Concha es la muchacha, e a.

I n know I a a ma, I a. Or a er on

come o work w er an e e oe pone.

I wll ave em nall a econ lne, Cry a.

Well, I preer a e no e any lne, I a. Srely

e can make call rom own oe.

B a oe, Cry a. Conca an Ale-

janro an Dego lve w yo, n e par camer oe oce. I rememere eeng ree mall e n a ny

room on e roo, I an og mc o , gven a

e re o e oe a an ar o ll eng nae. I a

gre wa j anoer room ye o e cleane o.

Here? I a. Yo n ell me a amly wa lvng

ere.

B I ake yo yeeray yo wane a ma, Cryreple.

Rg. An I a I neee o nk ao .

Alejanro an Dego were orn n a oe. Tey ave

een lvng ere weny-ve year.

Cry, I a, I can lve w a amly. I work wer



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Never tHe Hope Itself 41

or. I nee e pone lne. T alo an oce. I neemy own place. I w yo ol me.

Tere wa a long pae. Don worry, en, e a -

nally. I wll ell em o leave. I agree w yo. Snce my

moer e la year Conca an er oy ave aye on.

B ere een no nee, no work or em. I me or

em o go.

Hol on, I a. I on wan o row em o on e

ree eer.

O no, Conca amly lve j oe Mexco Cy.

Tey can go ere. Tey wll no oer yo.

Jeez, are yo re?

Ye. Ter me n e oe now ne.

I ng p eelng emarrae o go ownar. An

wan j ecae I wa ll n my nerwear. Conca

an e k n know ye, my arrval wa gong opell e en o a leme n a oe an I el aly. I go

ree an rre glly own e ack ep an o

e oor. I og e mornng paper an on a ewalk

ca a a leay nerecon o reny rearan an egan

kmmng e local new or cle o ore o nere, o-

re a mg work or rao. I wanere ack o e oe

early n e aernoon an on Conca, Dego, an Ale-janro all par n er mall room, packng clong. So

ey alreay ear rom Cry.

Hola, I a.

Hola.

Hola.



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Gerry HaddeN42

Hola.Me llamo Gerry, I a.

No one repone.

Len, I woln ave gne e leae I known yo

were ere, I a.

No se preocupe, seor, Conca a. Conca wa or

an ron an ware y er wo all on. Se wore a le

ma mock over er re. Don worry. I me or

o go.

Yo on ave o go now, econ, I a.

Te wo on a nong a ey conne packng,

ey ear me. I know ecae ey no leave a

ng. Nor a week. Aer a mon I egan o pec a

ey mply npacke er ag agan. I egan o ge angry.

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book excerpt- never the hope itself: love and ghosts in latin america and haiti

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