bi polar experience updated aug 2013
DESCRIPTION
My experience with Bipolar Disorder including the latest diagnosis and discoveries in the literatureTRANSCRIPT
MY BI-POLAR EXPERIENCE
Too little too late
DE DONDE VENGA BIPOLAR
Nurture = You can do anything
Genetics
Reinforced by experience of overreaching Constan
t strive & Failure Worn Out
CURRENT CONDITION
up Ceiling = anhedonia &
fatigue
Mood
Irritability & anxiety
Pain
Desperate drive to escape pain
PAIN OF DEPRESSION
Everyone understands physical pain• It has a locus• You can describe it• “ I hurt my knee”• It has a solution and an end
PAIN IS EXPERIENCED IN MIND
PAIN OF DEPRESSION
Is experienced in mind exactly as physical pain• But has no locus & no way to
describe• No understanding, no known end• Extreme dread, fear?, uncertainty• Discomfort?
NEED TO END PAIN
• To dull the pain many turn to drugs or alcohol
• I resort to dramatic frenetic projects – spend $, overconfident
• A % chose to dull the pain by committing suicide – No different than Sue Rodrigas who facing a life of pain asked to be euthanized and was granted that right
PHYSICAL VS. DEPRESSION PAIN
Physical Pain
• Has a locus
• Can envision end
• understandable
Depression
• No locus
• Cannot understand ending
• Amorphus
CURRENT CONDITION
up Ceiling = anhedonia &
fatigue
Mood
Irritability & anxiety
Pain
Desperate drive to escape pain
Descent into pain
LIKE SYSTEMATIC TORTURE
• As I descend into depression, because I have experienced it before, I react with anxiety, dread
OTHER SYMPTOMS
• Social anxiety – because I was normally confident and outgoing it took a long time to recognize the stress that even the most normal interaction caused
• My reaction to this stress is to deny it, push it away, try to rise above it
• This in turn raised the stress level to the point where I explode in an rage of anti
Depression stress
UPDATE AUGUST 2013
• I have just been diagnosed Bipolar II - after 45 years of depression - 20 years diagnosed
• No doctor or psychiatrist tested me for bipolar or seemed to know there was such a thing as bipolar 2.
• It is amazing to learn that there is a bipolar II B which seems to fit even more closely.
• There is a doctor and a book that explains it all! Why did no one tell me?
• I could have lead a far more productive life!
• The book is Bipolar Breakthrough by Ronald Fieve MD
DO YOU HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
• Symptoms of depression and some of the following• Hyperactive periods• Needing few hours of sleep• Risk taking • Sexual hyperactivity• Overconfidence Optimistic• Excited, talkative• Spending or gambling spree