BACKBITING AND GOSSIPING BANE OF

TEAMWORK AND SUCCESSIN

SCHOOLS

Payam Shoghihttp://payamshoghi.com/

TEAMWORK AT SCHOOL

Development and progress of any school depends on the people who run it. A more

effective teamwork among its people will ensure

unforeseen successes.

TEAMWORK

TEAM DEFINITION

A team is a small number of people with complimentary skills who are committed to a common purpose, and a set of performance goals, and for which they hold themselves mutually accountable.

TEAMWORK What is team? Why are teams essential? How is a team developed? What contributes to the strength of a team? What are the threats to a team? How does a team function? What is the relationship between the team and

success? How is synergy ensured in a team? What is the nature of communication in a team? How is performance assessed in a team without

criticism? How is morale and motivation kept high in a

team?

TEAMWORK

Together Everyone Accomplishes More With Organization Responsibility, and Knowledge

INGREDIENTS FOR A SUCCESSFUL TEAM Common Goals and Objectives High level of Commitment Synergy by leveraging Diversity of

Skills High level of Interdependence Highly level of Enthusiasm and

Motivation Mutual Support and Assistance Joy from each others’ successes All are well-wishers of one another

Lack of understanding of roles Undefined chain of authority Improper planning No timely evaluation of progress Domination by one team member Unresolved disagreements and

differences Disengaged attitude by team members Gossiping and backbiting within the team

THREATS TO SUCCESSFUL TEAMS

Gossiping and backbiting within the team

THREATS TO SUCCESSFUL TEAMS

The The Murderous Murderous

TongueTongue

The The Murderous Murderous

TongueTongue

Gossiping and Backbiting-The PoisonGossiping and Backbiting-The Poison thatthat KillsKills Teamwork and Teamwork and SpoilsSpoils Relationships RelationshipsGossiping and Backbiting-The PoisonGossiping and Backbiting-The Poison thatthat KillsKills Teamwork and Teamwork and SpoilsSpoils Relationships Relationships

Gossip: Idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others; sharing unproven facts and views about others.

Gossip: Idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others; sharing unproven facts and views about others.

Backbiting:Backbiting: Speaking ill of someone Speaking ill of someone in his absence. To determine if in his absence. To determine if backbiting has occurred, consider backbiting has occurred, consider whether the absent person would feel whether the absent person would feel bad about what was mentioned behind bad about what was mentioned behind his back or not. If yes, it is backbiting.his back or not. If yes, it is backbiting.

Backbiting:Backbiting: Speaking ill of someone Speaking ill of someone in his absence. To determine if in his absence. To determine if backbiting has occurred, consider backbiting has occurred, consider whether the absent person would feel whether the absent person would feel bad about what was mentioned behind bad about what was mentioned behind his back or not. If yes, it is backbiting.his back or not. If yes, it is backbiting.

Gossiping Gossiping and and

BackbitingBackbiting

Gossiping Gossiping and and

BackbitingBackbiting

Condemned by all major religions of the world.Condemned by all major religions of the world.Condemned by all major religions of the world.Condemned by all major religions of the world.

Let him abstain from . . . gambling, idle disputes, backbiting, and lying, from looking at and touching women, and from hurting others. (Laws of Manu)

Let him abstain from . . . gambling, idle disputes, backbiting, and lying, from looking at and touching women, and from hurting others. (Laws of Manu)Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill?in Your holy hill?He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And speaks the truth in his heart; He who does not backbite speaks the truth in his heart; He who does not backbite with his tongue, Nor does evil to his neighbor, Nor takes with his tongue, Nor does evil to his neighbor, Nor takes up a reproach against his friend. up a reproach against his friend. (Psalm 15:1-(Psalm 15:1-3)3)

O you who believe! Avoid suspicion. . . and spy not on each other, nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? No, you would abhor it ... But fear Allah, for Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful." (Holy Quran, 49:12)

Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill?in Your holy hill?He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And speaks the truth in his heart; He who does not backbite speaks the truth in his heart; He who does not backbite with his tongue, Nor does evil to his neighbor, Nor takes with his tongue, Nor does evil to his neighbor, Nor takes up a reproach against his friend. up a reproach against his friend. (Psalm 15:1-(Psalm 15:1-3)3)

O you who believe! Avoid suspicion. . . and spy not on each other, nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? No, you would abhor it ... But fear Allah, for Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful." (Holy Quran, 49:12)

For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases

(Proverbs 26:20)

You shall not go around as a slanderer among

For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases

(Proverbs 26:20)

You shall not go around as a slanderer amongyour people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the Lord. (Leviticus 19:16)

. . . backbiting quencheth the light of the heart, and extinguisheth the life of the soul.” (Baha’i Writings)

O Son of Being! How couldst thou forget thine own faults and busy thyself with the faults of others? Whoso doeth this is accursed of Me." (Baha’i Writings)

your people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the Lord. (Leviticus 19:16)

. . . backbiting quencheth the light of the heart, and extinguisheth the life of the soul.” (Baha’i Writings)

O Son of Being! How couldst thou forget thine own faults and busy thyself with the faults of others? Whoso doeth this is accursed of Me." (Baha’i Writings)

Why, then, Why, then, do people do people Gossip and Gossip and Backbite?Backbite?

Why, then, Why, then, do people do people Gossip and Gossip and Backbite?Backbite?

Basic reasons why people gossip about each other and backbite are:Basic reasons why people gossip about each other and backbite are:

• To alleviate hatred• Desire to fit in; yielding to peer pressure• Perception of injustice involving the person concerned• The desire to show off and boast• Jealousy• In jest and humor• Mocking, ridicule, and contempt.

• To alleviate hatred• Desire to fit in; yielding to peer pressure• Perception of injustice involving the person concerned• The desire to show off and boast• Jealousy• In jest and humor• Mocking, ridicule, and contempt.

All Negative Characteristics!All Negative Characteristics!

We can cause great We can cause great harm by gossiping harm by gossiping and backbiting. . .and backbiting. . .

We can cause great We can cause great harm by gossiping harm by gossiping and backbiting. . .and backbiting. . .

to individual reputations to individual reputations

and more importantlyand more importantly

to organizational progressto organizational progress

to individual reputations to individual reputations

and more importantlyand more importantly

to organizational progressto organizational progress

•We do not always know all the facts

•What we see and hear can actually by deceptive resulting in misunderstandings

•Ignorance provides credence

•We do not always know all the facts

•What we see and hear can actually by deceptive resulting in misunderstandings

•Ignorance provides credence

If not If not careful, this careful, this

problem problem can get can get

really bigreally big

If not If not careful, this careful, this

problem problem can get can get

really bigreally big

•Gossiping and backbiting are socially permissible, and so no external inhibition

•People who backbite and gossip actually enjoy doing so, and this drives them on

•Shared information, even though not factual, gives an impression of importance

•We often don’t even realize that we are backbiting

•Gossiping and backbiting are socially permissible, and so no external inhibition

•People who backbite and gossip actually enjoy doing so, and this drives them on

•Shared information, even though not factual, gives an impression of importance

•We often don’t even realize that we are backbiting

Consequences Consequences of gossiping and of gossiping and backbiting in an backbiting in an

organizationorganization

Consequences Consequences of gossiping and of gossiping and backbiting in an backbiting in an

organizationorganization

•Basic relationships break down affecting bonds of unity and harmony

•Trust and credibility get undermined

•Groupism within the organization ensues

•Plotting and intrigue follow

•Independent thinking ability undermined

•Organizational time and effort spent in fire-fighting and crisis management

•Attention gets diverted away from main aims and objectives

•Basic relationships break down affecting bonds of unity and harmony

•Trust and credibility get undermined

•Groupism within the organization ensues

•Plotting and intrigue follow

•Independent thinking ability undermined

•Organizational time and effort spent in fire-fighting and crisis management

•Attention gets diverted away from main aims and objectives

How can we How can we protect protect

ourselves from ourselves from the malice of the malice of gossiping and gossiping and backbiting?backbiting?

How can we How can we protect protect

ourselves from ourselves from the malice of the malice of gossiping and gossiping and backbiting?backbiting?

•Be guided by the maxim: “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”

•Reinforce your sense of loyalty towards the institution: with time we will all be gone, but the institution will remain. We have a serious responsibility towards it.

•This basically calls for inner discipline: don’t gossip and backbite, don’t listen to gossip and backbiting, remind one another in a positive way when this happens.

•Be guided by the maxim: “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”

•Reinforce your sense of loyalty towards the institution: with time we will all be gone, but the institution will remain. We have a serious responsibility towards it.

•This basically calls for inner discipline: don’t gossip and backbite, don’t listen to gossip and backbiting, remind one another in a positive way when this happens.

Let us do what Socrates used to do:

When approach with news about a certain person, Socrates would employ the “Three Filter Test”

Let us do what Socrates used to do:

When approach with news about a certain person, Socrates would employ the “Three Filter Test”

Before listening to what the person had to say, Socrates would ask him the following three questions:

• Have you made sure that what you are telling me is absolutely true?

• Is what you are going to tell me something good?

• Is what you are going to tell me useful to me?

Before listening to what the person had to say, Socrates would ask him the following three questions:

• Have you made sure that what you are telling me is absolutely true?

• Is what you are going to tell me something good?

• Is what you are going to tell me useful to me?

Imagine what happens when we constantly talk about each other,

with each other, when what is being said -

Imagine what happens when we constantly talk about each other,

with each other, when what is being said -

is something bad, and we are not even sure whether it is true or not, and which is a completely useless

piece of information to us!

Please don’t lend a hearing ear to such idle talk. The responsibility to stop gossiping and

backbiting is as much the listeners’ as the speakers’.

is something bad, and we are not even sure whether it is true or not, and which is a completely useless

piece of information to us!

Please don’t lend a hearing ear to such idle talk. The responsibility to stop gossiping and

backbiting is as much the listeners’ as the speakers’.

RESOLUTION

Try and root out the evil vices of Gossiping and Backbiting from every school for ever.

Help build stronger bonds of trust, unity and interdependence.

Strive to build an institution that others will envy.