Are you playing to win, or playing not to lose?
Post on 09-Mar-2016
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DESCRIPTIONWhat game are you playing professionally and personally?
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Are You Playing to Winor Playing Not to Lose!
On this adventure of life, what is the game youre playing? The first and most common game is Playing
Not to Lose the second and more exciting, more daring, rarer game is Playing to Win!
Which game are you playing both personally and professionally?
Lets look at each of these games for a moment
Playing Not to Lose
Playing Not to Lose is ultimately about avoiding fear. However, saying that if you ask people if they
experience fear in their personal or professional lives they will most likely tell you not.
We are bright people, and most of us learnt long ago to avoid situations in which we fear. These could
have been situations which we personally experienced, or situations we heard about through others.
For example, youve had a long term relationship, you split up now your mind creates an association of
fear and pain with relationships. And so, theres now a little voice inside your head which says to you
dont go there again, dont expose yourself, dont step outside your comfort zone, and dont expose
yourself to that pain.
In many situations this makes eminent sense. Playing Not to Lose is about avoiding situations where we
might lose, fail, be emotionally hurt, or even be rejected.
Our bodies have built in early warning systems that alert us to these kinds of situations, so that we can
avoid them and thereby avoid experiencing fear.
Heres the critical part
Unfortunately, this early warning system often leaks over into other areas of our lives where we arent
at true risk
Playing to Win
Playing to Win is about consciously choosing not to automatically avoid situations in which we might
fail, be embarrassed, or rejected.
Why on earth would we consciously choose to do something that could lead to failure, rejection,
embarrassment or even worse?
Because our goal is to grow!
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Playing to win is about; engaging with life, stepping outside your comfort zone, taking calculated risks,
learning to become comfortably uncomfortable, learning to thrive on the adventure of life and seeing
the unknown as your friend not your foe
Its about being comfortable with uncertainty knowing that uncertainty is the catalyst for growth.
Playing to win means consciously choosing to experience those situations that will help us grow.
Furthermore, it means going into those situations wholeheartedly, committed to going as far as we can
with all that we have.
A Conscious Choice
We choose to play not to lose because we believe our emotional survival is at stake. We choose to play
to win in order to learn, grow and thrive. Although its not often that black and white, the critical
moments of our lives and careers often come down to a choice between the two:
- Which are you going to choose today?
- Are you going to consciously decide to play to win or play not to lose both personally and
Playing to win definitely seems like the better game to me!