Are you playing to win, or playing not to lose?

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Post on 09-Mar-2016




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What game are you playing professionally and personally?


  • 1 livingyourfuture 2011

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    Are You Playing to Winor Playing Not to Lose!

    On this adventure of life, what is the game youre playing? The first and most common game is Playing

    Not to Lose the second and more exciting, more daring, rarer game is Playing to Win!

    Which game are you playing both personally and professionally?

    Lets look at each of these games for a moment

    Playing Not to Lose

    Playing Not to Lose is ultimately about avoiding fear. However, saying that if you ask people if they

    experience fear in their personal or professional lives they will most likely tell you not.

    Heres why

    We are bright people, and most of us learnt long ago to avoid situations in which we fear. These could

    have been situations which we personally experienced, or situations we heard about through others.

    For example, youve had a long term relationship, you split up now your mind creates an association of

    fear and pain with relationships. And so, theres now a little voice inside your head which says to you

    dont go there again, dont expose yourself, dont step outside your comfort zone, and dont expose

    yourself to that pain.

    In many situations this makes eminent sense. Playing Not to Lose is about avoiding situations where we

    might lose, fail, be emotionally hurt, or even be rejected.

    Our bodies have built in early warning systems that alert us to these kinds of situations, so that we can

    avoid them and thereby avoid experiencing fear.

    Heres the critical part

    Unfortunately, this early warning system often leaks over into other areas of our lives where we arent

    at true risk

    Playing to Win

    Playing to Win is about consciously choosing not to automatically avoid situations in which we might

    fail, be embarrassed, or rejected.

    Why on earth would we consciously choose to do something that could lead to failure, rejection,

    embarrassment or even worse?

    Because our goal is to grow!

  • 2 livingyourfuture 2011

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    Playing to win is about; engaging with life, stepping outside your comfort zone, taking calculated risks,

    learning to become comfortably uncomfortable, learning to thrive on the adventure of life and seeing

    the unknown as your friend not your foe

    Its about being comfortable with uncertainty knowing that uncertainty is the catalyst for growth.

    Playing to win means consciously choosing to experience those situations that will help us grow.

    Furthermore, it means going into those situations wholeheartedly, committed to going as far as we can

    with all that we have.

    A Conscious Choice

    We choose to play not to lose because we believe our emotional survival is at stake. We choose to play

    to win in order to learn, grow and thrive. Although its not often that black and white, the critical

    moments of our lives and careers often come down to a choice between the two:

    - Which are you going to choose today?

    - Are you going to consciously decide to play to win or play not to lose both personally and


    Playing to win definitely seems like the better game to me!