APOLOGIZING, INTERRUPTING, AND EXCUSING ONESELF

GBUS 495, Ms. Quinones

Overview

Apologies Interruptions Excusing Oneself

Asking Forgiveness

Apologizing

To express regret for doing or saying something wrong: to give or make an apology

Source: Merriam Webster’s Learners Dictionary (Online)

Definition: “Apologize”

Why & When Do We Apologize

Clarifies misunderstandings

Indicates status (those in power seldom apologize)

Shows respect for others

Improves relationships

You have responsibility for causing misunderstanding/problem.

You are trying to show deference to someone

You want to show respect You do not want

someone to become or remain angry

Why When

I'm very sorry for / that ...

I apologize if I ...

I apologize for (+ ing form of verb)

Please forgive me for …

I didn’t mean to …

Expressions

Apology Take responsibility and say you are sorry. Ex. I am sorry that I ate your apple.

Reason Tell them why you did what you did (if appropriate). Ex. It was on my desk, and I didn’t know it belonged to

you. Promise or Action

Promise you will try not to do it again. Ex. Next time, I will ask before eating something. Action – do something to try to fix the situation. Ex. Let me buy you a new one.

Formula for Apologies

Sample Apologies- Appropriate?Analyze the following apologies: Apology by News Broadcaster Sheldon Apologizes to Penny Buddy’s Big Apology (The Nutty Professo

r) Kramer’s Apology

Discussion

How would you apologize in the following situations? If you accidentally bumped into the person

next to you in line. If you missed class or a meeting. If you are late for meeting or interview. If you forgot to bring something you

needed. If you inadvertently insulted someone. If you dropped and broke something.

Reactions to Apologies

It is customary to accept an apology with phrases such as: Apology accepted. It’s ok Don’t worry about it. That’s all right. Never mind. You don’t need to apologize. Don’t mention it. I quite understand. I’m sure you couldn’t help it. No harm done.

Reactions to Apologies

On some occasions, an apology may not be accepted if the injured party feels the apology is insincere or the offense was too serious to forgive easily.

This can lead to strained relationships if it is not resolved quickly.

Practice

Over the next few days, make note of a few things: The situations where you hear people

apologizing The reasons for the apology The reaction

Use a chart similar to the one below.Situation Apology Reason Reaction

A person bumped into another person in the hallway.

“I’m so sorry, that was my fault. Let me help you.”

They knocked the person’s books down.

The victim accepted help.

Butting in…

Interrupting

1 : to ask questions or say things while another person is speaking : to do or say something that causes someone to stop speaking [+ obj]

2 [+ obj] : to cause (something) to stop happening for a time

3 [+ obj] : to cause (something) to not be even or continuous : to change or stop the sameness or smoothness of (something)

Definition: Interrupt

Why We Interrupt

Here are just a few reasons why we interrupt others:

To tell someone something important To add information To get more information To ask for clarification To say hello To try to be helpful To agree/disagree

When the person has finished saying what they have to say

When the person speaking slows down When the speaker pauses When they send non-verbal signals that they

are finishing or are ready for interruption. When the speaker has had a fair amount of

time to speak.

When to interrupt

Agreement Interrupt: Enthusiastically agree. Body Language Interrupt: Non-verbal signal

intent to butt in. Clarification Interrupt: Ask for clarification. Check

you understand. Continuation Interrupt: Pick up where they might

leave off. Disagreement Interrupt: Disagree with what is

said. Disinterest Interrupt: Appear disinterested in

what they say.

Ways to interrupt

Distraction Interrupt: Become distracted by something else.

Encouragement Interrupt: Keep them talking. External Interrupt: Use a third party to interrupt. Identity Interrupt: Prod the identity of the person. Loudmouth Interrupt: Talk more loudly than the

other person. Motormouth Interrupt: Jump in and talk quickly.

Ways to Interrupt

Question Interrupt: Just ask them a question.

Power Interrupt: Use your power to grab control.

Permission Interrupt: Ask if you can interrupt.

Touch Interrupt: Touch them gently as you

interrupt.

'Yes, and' Interrupt: Say 'Yes, and,...'

'Yes, but' Interrupt: Say 'Yes, but...’

Ways to Interrupt

Interruption Examples

TED “Interruption” Inappropriate Speech: Don’t Interrupt Ron Paul Interrupted Angry person interrupted Sheldon Being Interrupted George on the Phone Linda Thomson Meeting Catch Me If You Can

Practice

What would you say or do to appropriately interrupt in the following situations? To interrupt to ask a question in the middle

of class To interrupt your boss in a meeting to

clarify something To interrupt your friend’s conversation to

say hi To interrupt your coworker’s conversation

over lunch to tell them you both need to return to the office.

To interrupt your parents to tell them good news

“Excuse me”

Excusing Oneself

What is “Excusing” Someone/thing?1 To forgive someone for something bad that they have done, especially something that is not very serious

Please excuse my messy handwriting. excuse someone for (doing)

something: I hope you'll excuse us for leaving so early.

What is “Excusing” Someone/thing?2 [often passive] To give someone permission to leave

Now if you'll excuse us, we have to get going.

To give someone permission not to do something that they usually have to do excuse someone from (doing)

something: You're excused from doing the dishes tonight.

What is “Excusing” Someone/thing?3 To provide a reason or explanation for something bad that someone has done, in order to make it seem less bad.

I know he's over 70, but that doesn't excuse his sexist attitudes.

When Should I Excuse Myself? Reasons to “excuse” yourself:

You need to leave early or unexpectedly. You need to take a phone call (while being

with someone). You said something you didn’t mean to and

need to clarify. You need to interrupt someone. You need to attend to someone interrupting

you. You committed a social faux pas

(unintentional blunder).

How Does One Excuse Oneself? Common Expressions:

“Excuse me” “I beg your pardon” “Pardon me” “May I be excused?” “I’m sorry”

• Apologizing and excusing oneself are closely linked.

• Additionally, it is often helpful to excuse oneself when interrupting someone.

Bringing it all together

Questions?