Affair-ProofYour MarriageProverbs 7:1-5

God-Given Goals of Marriage

•Procreation, Gen 1:28; 4:1•Purity, Heb 13:4; Gen

2:25; 1 Cor 7:2•Partnership, Gen 2:18, 23-

24; 1 Pet 3:7

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Identify the ProblemRECOGNIZE THE SINS THAT STRAIN AND DESTROY MARRIAGES•Pride, Prov 15:25; 28:25•Selfishness, cf. Gal 6:2•Dishonesty, Eph 4:25; Gal 4:16• Infidelity, Heb 13:4; Prov 6:32-

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AFFAIR-PROOF YOUR MARRIAGE

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Protect Your Marriage!• First, know the danger is real,

1 Cor 6:18; 10:8, 12; 15:33; Jas 1:14

• Next, fully commit yourself to God and to your spouse, Mal 2:14; Prov 2:16-17 (1 Jno 3:18)

• Then, combine knowledge and practice, Col 1:9-10

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Knowledge and Practice“IF YOU KNOW THESE THINGS, BLESSED ARE YOU IF YOU DO THEM” (JNO 13:17)• If knowledge is power, then knowing

each other (and yourself) will give you power to excel in your marriage, 1 Peter 3:7

• God gave Eve to Adam (and Adam to Eve) to help fulfill needs, Gen 2:18, 24

• When our spouse’s needs are not fulfilled there is trouble in paradise!6

Affair-Proof Your MarriageHer Needs

•AFFECTION SS 2:6, 10-14; Col 3:19–Expression of care–Security, protection, comfort & approval (Vital)

1) “You are important to me”2) “I am concerned with the problems you face”

His Needs•SEXUAL FULFILLMENT Prov 5:15-20–Vow of faithfulness, Prov 2:17

–His greater sex drive puts responsibility on the wife (with-out resentment), 1 Cor 7:3-5

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Affair-Proof Your MarriageHer Needs

•CONVERSATION Col 4:6; Prov 15:23–Good conversation

•Informs, focuses, is balanced and undivided

–Conversation killers•Demands are made•Disrespect is shown•One or both get angry•Dwell on mistakes

His Needs•RECREATIONAL COMPANIONSHIP Gen 2:18; Eccl 9:9–Do not “go your separate ways”•Share life together

–Protects against investing time and energy in another

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Affair-Proof Your MarriageHer Needs

•HONESTY AND OPENNESS, 2 Cor 8:21–Establishes a sense of security, Eph 4:25•Trust is undermined

without it–Builds compatibility of common goals, aspirations, etc.

His Needs•AN ATTRACTIVE SPOUSE, SS 4:9-11– He is enraptured by

your appearance, voice, smell…beautiful to him!•She cares how she

presents herself to him (and to the world)

– Only has eyes for you, Prov 6:23-25

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Affair-Proof Your MarriageHer Needs

•FINANCIAL SUPPORT 1 Tim 5:8–Support that helps her be secure and content

–Not greediness and covetousness, Heb 13:5; 1 Ths 4:11

His Needs•DOMESTIC SUPPORT Prov 31:10-12 (13-26), 23–Manages the house, 1 Tim 5:14

–Worthy woman who watches over the ways of her household – worthy of praise! (Prov 31:27-29)

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Affair-Proof Your MarriageHer Needs

•FAMILY COMMITMENT Eph 6:4; Prv 3:1-2; 22:6•Husband who is active in the development of the children (moral, spiritual, educational)

•Husband who takes responsibility for how the children turn out

His Needs•ADMIRATION SS 5:10-16; Eph 5:33; Prov 21:9 (19:13)–Show him you appreciate him and his devotion to you

–Express your respect with esteem; not contentious complaining

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His Needs, Her Needs•Men, ask

yourself:

“How am I doing at affair-proofing my marriage and fulfilling these five primary needs of my wife?"

•Women, ask yourself:

“How am I doing at affair-proofing my marriage and fulfilling these five primary needs of my husband?"

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