a peaceful mind issue 8

APM SHE LEAVES A LITTLE SPARKLE WHEREVER SHE GOES

ISSUE 8

FROM THE EDITOR… The festive season is almost upon us, and already the shops are throwing decorations and special deals at us. But are you actually ready for this year to be over? Have you checked off all the things you wanted to see and do this year? With summer just around the corner, at APM we thought that we’d help you tackle that list, one step at a time. In this months mag we have fabulous summer tips and tricks to help prepare you for the end of the year; including yummy recipes and cooking ideas, your summer must haves and reads and we cannot forget that additional styling and lifestyle tip too. I would like to thank our wonderful writers who we would be nowhere without, every month you continue to motivate through your inspiring words. Be Kind, Courageous and Confident. Taylah Parker Editor

2 The Law of Attraction & How to Use it L A U R E N J O B S O N LIFE COACH

4 Greens Glorious Greens H a y l e y M a r t I n NUTRITION

6 What is the Measure of Success? H E L E N J O M O A FITNESS 8 3 Ways to Get Your Shizzle in Order This Spring M A R E E E D D I N G S ENERGY

10 Do Anything But Tell the Truth

h e l e n t r e l o a r BUSINESS

12 Experience K i r s t e n B A S F O R D ANTI- MARKETING

15 Rework b o o k r e v I e w DAVID HEINEMEIER-HANSSON 16 You Must Understand Me Before Getting My Money p E N N Y V O T Z O U R A K I S CUSTOMER SERVICE

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

10 A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015

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20 Techniques to Reach Your Goals L E N A T U R V E Y PRODUCTIVITY 22 When to Quieten Your Inner Adult & Release Your Inner Child B E C K I E W H I T E STYLIST 26 Traffic Generation – Article Marketing (Part 1 – 4) J U L I E B O U R K E TECHNOLOGY 28 Dymphna Cusack – All Reality is Made Up j o a n n e c l a r k NLP

34 The Challenges of Starting & Running A Business P I P P A H A N S O N A PERSONAL JOURNEY 36 Your CEO Man A M A N D A M A L L I A THE MAN’S PERSPECTIVE 38 Karen Chaston G U E S T W R I T E R THE OTHER SIDE OF LOSS AND HEARTBREAK

32 What is My Way? S O U L F O O D HELEN TRELOAR

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015

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mailto:[email protected]

Lauren Jobson

Life Coach tips and techniques to move you towards your

goals in life

Hayley Martin

Nutritional advice, recipes & wellness articles to elevate

your health

Helen Jomoa

Fitness strategies and interesting

facts to boost your vitality

Maree Eddings

Exploring energy and how it flows or blocks your personal power

Helen Treloar

Business & Leadership tips & articles for SME &

start-ups

Kirsten Basford

The anti-marketing marketing guru magnifying your

brand

Penny Votzourakis

Customer service advice to grow sales

and client loyalty

Lena Turvey

Productivity and organisation queen

bringing you tips and techniques

Beckie White

Style your wardrobe & your life using

Beckie’s secrets & suggestions

Julie Bourke

Technology is in everyone’s life! Julie helps you use it and

protect it well

Joanne Clark

Bringing you NLP Success Principles through ‘Women in

History’ pieces

Amanda Mallia

Go behind the curtain and into the male mind

with Amanda

Our APM Experts …

PIPPA HANSON

Be inspired by Pippa’s personal journey as a

business owner, mother and wife

She leaves a little

Sparkle wherever

she goes

Lauren Jobson – LIFE COACH


TWO

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There have been many different and great sources that talk about this Universal Law.

The Law of Attraction refers to when you allow yourself to focus intently upon what you desire, it will then manifest for you with grace and ease. What a beautiful concept it is! However, let’s fill in some of the gaps that many sources actually miss out on explaining. You see, this Universal Law is actually only 1 out of 22 principles of the Hermetic philosophy in Western Mystery Tradition – sometimes called the “alternative spiritual tradition”.

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It’s unfortunately not enough to have a clear, full sensory image of specifically what you want (and we’ll talk about this next). You also need to make sure that what you desire comes from the right place with the right intention. And then, of course, action also needs to be taken.

So what is the “right” place from whence your desires need to come from? It’s from your 'Higher Self', or perhaps we could refer to it as your soul. The Law of Attraction actually states this. So this is not just about manifesting on a material level, but rather manifesting what we want from a place

The Law of Attraction & How to Use It

Lauren

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where we are completely entitled and deserving of receiving what we want. You were born entitled to receive your hearts desires by the way, simple as that!

Marianne Williamson said it perfectly: “We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.”

Of course you can have material things too if they make you truly happy, because what is also important about the Law of Attraction is the intention behind why you want it.

Here is a very important secret about this Law that is hardly ever mentioned…

…if we focus on attracting “things” that are not truly aligned with our soul, or we don’t spend any thought on the intention/higher purpose of why we want it, we can easily be disillusioned and put off temporarily from our path.

THREE


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For instance, you may want to focus on attracting a million dollars, however, you may not know exactly what you are going to do with the money or the true intent behind why you want it. Let’s say for this example that you take a great deal of action (because in this instance more action is needed because the intent is not clear) and you do receive the money. Great! However, what you first thought was attractive to you will invariably become more of a problem because you will spend it quickly and blow it all on “stuff” that just doesn’t fulfil you. The example is often given of poor people who win the lottery but end up poor again in a very short time.

So go ahead and focus specifically on what you want, but you must also understand why you want it, how it will make you feel and finally, who will you become in the achievement of your manifestations.

All my love & faith in your potential,

Hayley Martin - Nutrition

Greens Glorious

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You've heard it all before - greens are good, in fact they're great, you might even say glorious for you and your health, and yet they are what is most commonly missing from the modern diet. By adding in, or upping your intake of dark leafy greens especially, you're establishing a healthy body and immune system as well as 'crowding out' the foods that are likely to have a negative effect thus keeping cravings at bay - win win! Their resume would read something

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like this: High in calcium, magnesium, iron, zinc, potassium, phosphorous and vitamins A, C, E and K. Packed with fibre, folic acid, chlorophyll and many other micronutrients and phytochemicals, these high-alkaline foods assist in strengthening the blood and respiratory system by replenishing our body’s store of alkaline minerals, neutralise acidic conditions caused by our environment. Some of the proven and possible benefits of consuming them are:

greens

FOUR


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- Blood purification - Improved circulation - Strengthened immune system - Promotion of healthy gut flora - Improved liver and kidney function - Cancer prevention - Cleared congestion - Promotion of light and flexible energy With so many greens to choose from, it's unlikely you'll get bored. Know your favourites, and every other grocery shop toss something new in the trolley. Get a bit adventurous in the kitchen by steaming, sautéing (in water or oil), boiling or serving raw, etc. Cooking you greens in different ways gives a variety of benefits as well. Raw: is cooling, refreshing and supplies live enzymes. Steaming: keeps greens more fibrous and tight, curbs appetite/ keeps you fuller longer. Boiling: plumps and relaxes greens. Be careful not to over boil as nutrients will get lost in the water. Sautéing: helps maintain as many nutrients as possible. Some of the greens you might like to try: Broccoli, Kale, Bok Choy, Cabbage, Collards, Spinach, Silverbeat, Watercress, Lettuces, even Beet greens. Happy Cooking!

Hayley

FIVE

yummy!!

Helen Jomoa⏐FITNESS


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It is vital to have some sort of tracking if you have a fitness goal you want to achieve. Traditionally we use the bathroom scales, but they only measure actual weight loss, and ignore arguably more important factors like how your fat-to-muscle ratios are changing.

Here are some of the different ways I measure my client’s progress to get a more complete picture.

Body Fat Percentage Body fat can be measured as a percentage of your total body weight. It can be done in two ways.

Calipers - Calipers look like an adjustable spanner. This is the traditional way to measure body fat, but it heavily relies on the accuracy of the person who is doing the measuring. The fat (skin folds) is measured at several different parts of the body and these millimeters are then converted to a percentage.

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Electric scales with BIA - The most accurate method I use with my clients is an electric scale that uses bio impediment analysis. This works by passing a small electrical current through your body. The current passes slower through the fat than muscle, so the measurement can be derived.

BMI Body Mass Index, is a measurement of weight against height. I tend to use this as a general gauge to help people understand whether they fall into the healthy weight range or not. This is especially useful for those in denial! It does have limitations though. It measures total weight (not broken down by muscle or fat percentages), so athletes who are naturally muscular people, or slim people carrying weight around their middle, will not get accurate scores. A score of 25 and above is considered overweight.

SIX

What is The Measure of Success?

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Waist Measurement A waist measurement of above 94cm in men and 80cm in women is an indicator of a dangerous layer of visceral fat (hard fat around your vital organs). Belly fat is a key factor in developing chronic conditions such as type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease and stroke. You could have a normal BMI but still be at risk from diseases from belly fat. I use this measurement to flag health risks.

Body Measurements Using a tape measure to measure certain parts of your body, such as your waist, upper arms, hips and thighs is a good way to see how you are loosing weight. You need to pay attention to how accurate you are and that you are measuring in the same place each time. Your waist is the largest measurement and you will see changes here more quickly than other areas. This is how to correctly measure your waist. Find the bottom of your ribs and the top of your hip bone. Breath out normally. Place the tape measure half way between these two points and measure round your waist.

Good Old Jeans Many of my clients just notice how their body is changing because they can now fit into that old pair of jeans they have been hanging onto.

Recording Your Training Recording your training sessions is a good way to see how your strength (number of reps/weights) and cardio (time/distance) is improving. This is a great way to see how your body is improving even over a short period of


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time. It is also a good way of planning towards a goal such as marathon training. I record all of my clients training sessions, so we can review their progress.

Activity Trackers Activity trackers such as Fitbit, are also motivating, as they track your total daily activity (not just at the gym), as well as sleep, food etc. In my opinion, people are very keen on them at the start, but this is not necessarily sustained. If you like the numbers though, you may like this as it syncs with your phone, giving you progress charts etc.

I personally use a mixture of all of these ways to measure my client’s progress, because they all tell me something different, and give me a fuller picture about what is going on. The main thing is to see a general trend, rather than becoming obsessive about the numbers. Weight isn’t everything, it is important to see yourself emerging as a fitter, leaner, stronger person, and if you are having fun exercising, you are likely to continue to see results however you choose to measure them.

He l e n

EIGHT

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You juggle and you move things around and you get stuff done!

I bet you feel full of energy and love batting up every day to a day of chaos just waiting for you to sort out.

The highs that chaos sorting provides you can quickly be replaced with the lows of aching muscles, sore head, rushed food that starts to show over your pants, sleep that has not been peaceful for a while now... any of this sounding familiar to you?

I am all too familiar with the seduction of getting lots done in a big rush of adrenaline and self fulfilling prophecies of 'adding value' and helping out.

While this approach can be 'rewarding' in the moment, it is not sustainable - but you know that!

The antidote my friend - you need a process that you value and you love love love.

Today is a change of season and it is the PERFECT time to get yourself a new process.

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Every change brings new thoughts and ideas, we prepare for the new, the different. What you were focused on last season is not going to 100% fit for what you are inspired to focus on for this new season ahead.

It's Spring where I am and this is the season to be de-cluttering. You want to open the windows and let the flowers in, let in the light... feel the possibility.

You want to get amongst it, you want to eat new things. Spring things, you want to feel different maybe even look different.

This new season starts to build a list of things you want to DO.

The list starts to build this feeling of anticipation and you get excited and before you know it you have convinced yourself that you have achieved some of the stuff on the list. It's true.

You see the brain, your brain, cannot tell the difference. You feed it right and it will believe that you have completed the list. You have

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the feeling and it feels so sweet, you taste it, you feel so satisfied... and you are, unless you actually want to smell those flowers, have the house de-cluttered or look different.

ENTER THE POWER OF THE PROCESS

Yes - you need an outcome in mind, a place where you want to go. Yes - you do want to know what that will feel like and really understand why you want that outcome (the cleaner your energy the better). HOWEVER, unless you have a clearly understood process of how you are going to get there you will meander for a while my friend and yep, the big old compromise

3 Ways to get your SHIZZLE in order this SPRING Do You Have A Lot Going On in Life? Maree Eddings ⏐ Energy


Maree NINE

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will slot right into your reality.

So; where to start?

It is only early Spring so it's all good, no-one has missed out on anything, you are not behind the eight ball and you don't need to convince yourself that you now need to wait until Summer... I know the things we tell ourselves!

To help you get your shizzle in order and really tap into what you want to feel in this change of season, I have three things that will kick-start your process. Yep, put these in your process and you WILL feel that shift. The longer you commit and LOVE it knowing that it is leading you somewhere, the sooner clarity will be had!

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Firstly, all three are required. This is part of the matrix test, stick to these three so you get into the swing of things, they are designed to improve your situation...

Step ONE: UP YOUR WATER INTAKE

So let's get rid of the 'I don't like water blah blah' . The fact is, your body is up to 75% water. It needs water to function at its optimum levels. Do what you need to do to work it out and drink it already!

One thing I am doing to play a game with myself and keep it interesting is I have purchased a 500ml water bottle with the measurements on the outside. I

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can clearly see what I have had to drink and it is getting me closer to the 3 litres a day... nearly there.

Step TWO: MOVE EVERY DAY

I mean wake up, get out of bed and MOVE. It is lighter outside and those gorgeous new birds are chirping away. It is the best time of the day to detox the body, feel fresh and start the day with a clear head. I dare you to say hello to the birds and see what happens

Step THREE: CLEAN OUT A CUPBOARD

The change of seasons is about making room for the new. So make some room! Start with one cupboard a week. This is about settling into a process, so resist the temptation to clear the whole house in one sitting (hoarders can ignore that comment and clear away). Start with the bathroom cupboard, it is always one that has some new additions that can be thrown away. Work your way up to the wardrobe...

Get in there and commit to your process and you will exceed any outcome you could dream up. YOU will literally blow your own mind how powerful your process will be.

Best of all, the more you commit the quicker that clarity, confidence and connection will arrive.

Stay S.E.X.I

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE8 2015

1

The business buzz word for 2014 was 'authentic'.

You saw it and heard it EVERYWHERE in the business community. Let's do business 'on our own terms' in an 'authentic' way - heck, even I used it more than a few times and probably still will in the future.

When we look at the science of success in a sales relationship, the customer would surely say that they are drawn to and want to deal with those who are honest and truly authentic. However, what the customer (we) are really saying is...

Give me every reason, piece of evidence and ability to...

• Like You • Believe You and Believe IN

You • Trust You • Promote You • Benefit from You • Contribute to You • Gain something positive from

this Connection with You

We human's are vulnerable and layered individuals. We are perfectly

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flawed and have insecurities and imperfections abound. Thing is, if we lead with this 'authentic' version of self, we would do very little to give others cause to have faith in us. They would find it difficult to invest in us and make a decision to buy us and our products or services.

We have been conditioned to lie. Not nasty, dark, hurtful lies but little white lies - we need to promote the amplified version of our abilities, skills and experiences and pop the rest into the shadows. Here are just a few of the 'unsaid' rules and mis-truths to being perceived as successful and so pushing the 'authentic' envelope out to sea...

One should avoid:

Discounting - It can look desperate, give the impression you are not successful, attract people who wont pay for your real value and set up an expectation that will disable you from returning to list prices again. Successful businesses don't need to discount.

Helen Treloar - BUSINESS

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Saying Business is Slow - Always be busy, say you're busy and tell prospects that you will need to try to 'fit them in' to create the illusion of success. Goodness me, one cannot be a success and NOT be busy after all.

Over-riding the T's and C's - A successful business will surely rely on it's T's & C's and Printed Policies. They cannot bend the rules and seek to give excellent service to quality people within their network, cause this might look weak and be perceived as too flexible. Breaking the rules brings the establishment down. I'll keep pointing to the small print and defend my position no matter what.

Being Too Flexible - Hey, once you're booked in, you're booked in, and if you cancel I'll keep your money or charge you a cancellation fee. Same goes for that product you purchased, it's now outside 30 days and the warranty clearly states that's your limit for recourse. I can't be held responsible for your change of

Do Anything BUT Tell The Truth

TEN

Helen

THIRTEEN

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015 4

mind or reasonable and real reason for needing to cancel or return your product.

Saying 'I Don't Know' - Fake it until you make it; say yes then work out how; commit then respond... All of these quips are useful and, where confidence is low but ability high, can work really well when applied. However, when confidence and ability is low - say I don't know! The fear of saying 'I don't know' is usually linked to the loss of an opportunity. The short sightedness of this strategy should be explored.

It might well be that in business you decide to be all of the above

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& more, and this is the authentic YOU in business.

If, as with many business owners I have worked with over the years, this is NOT you and you struggle with the 'rules' that you no longer agree with, and you believe that doing business your own way will cut a path of success for you, it’s worth noting that your possy of prospective customers will be uniquely yours. You will NOT appeal to those who want the rules and want you to use the well rehearsed smoke & mirrors of business, so they can recognise what it is that you are offering.

Being truly authentic takes courage. You are presenting the

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perfectly imperfect version of self. It comes with its critics. It also comes with a ticket to feeling like you are the Master of your Universe and driver of your own bus. You get to decide how you do business, who with, why and when and for how much. I made these decisions for myself and my own business in October 2014, it's working a treat for me.

Doing business mindfully.

“The fear of saying 'I don't know' is usually linked to the loss of an opportunity”

ELEVEN

Kirsten Basford⏐ANTI-MARKETING

4 S I M P L E W A Y S T O B U I L D R E L A T I O N S H I P S ,

Experien

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So as a brand, creating experiences is the essence of influence and it then leads to the most compelling element of all consumer behaviour, trust. Our purchase decisions are built on the foundation of, Know, Like (I think love) and Trust and to get to that point of impact and influence you need to create an experience. An experience that resonates with your ideal customer. The dictionary defines experience as an event or occurrence that leaves an impression on someone. It is therefore true that creating an experience or experiences is the foundation of all marketing, whether you are a retail store, a service provider an entertainer or a personal brand. If you are online or offline, how are you creating experiences for your customers and for those around you? With the words of a man that has made his living and purpose around creating an experience and with many of my friends enjoying that experience last night, we can all take a leaf out of Robbie Williams book and say LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU! With the end of the year fast approaching, it’s a perfect time to ramp up the experiences you provide to create more impact and influence to propel you and your brand to the next level.

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Do you have a favourite café? How about a ‘go to’ brand that you just buy regardless of the price. Or is there a store that just drags you in, even if you have no intention or need to purchase! You always walk out with a purchase (or two) and you proudly tell others about your purchase and buying experience. Or is there a band or an entertainer, that regardless of the ticket price, you are first in line to get tickets and you will move heaven and earth to make sure you are there, and you Instagram the hell out of your time before, during and after the concert (you know what I’m taking about!). These brands, in your eyes, can do no wrong. You talk about them, you are loyal to them and you have a deep connection with them. Every time you engage with that brand you have an experience. An experience, which in some way moves you. When a brand, and by brand I mean a physical product or a person, creates an experience that has a profound effect upon how you feel emotionally, then it can’t help but make an impact. And impact creates influence. Think about a time when you have been introduced to someone who impressed you at a party or social occasion. They had an air of confidence, they looked you in the eye when they spoke, their handshake or greeting was confidant yet approachable and they listened to you with interest and engaged with you. You had an enjoyable experience with them and they created an impact. That impact, in turn, leads to influence. In a social setting this may not be intentional, it’s a by-product of creating a unique and engaging experience for someone.

Kirsten

THIRTEEN


Experience


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INGREDIENTS

• 6 eggs • 1 brown onion, chopped • 1 zucchini, grated and squeeze

out extra moisture • 1/4 cup parmesan cheese • 2 garlic cloves, minced • 1 teaspoon coconut oil • 1/4 cup basil • 1 nori sheet •

WHAT TO DO: Preheat oven 180° and line 8-10 holes of a muffin tray with baking paper or baking cups.

F r I t t a t I n I s H a y l e y m a r t i n - t r u e f o r m h e a l t h

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Cook onion with coconut oil on a medium heat until translucent and then add garlic until fragrant. Whisk eggs and stir through onion and garlic as well as basil, nori, parmesan and zucchini. Spoon mixture evenly into tray and bake for 12-20 minutes (depending on your oven) until the egg has cooked through. Season with salt, pepper and chilli flakes for a delicious breakfast, brunch or savoury snack! For more delicious recipes go to

www.trueformhealth.com.au

Photograph: Hayley Martin | True Form Health

FOURTEEN

The Perfect Summer BRUNCH Treat

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“The real hero is already home

because she figured out a faster way

to get things done.”

I also loved this quote; “When you

want something bad enough, you

make the time.” So true and so often

overlooked.

There are so many inspirational

quotes and ground breaking ideas

about the way we work in this book

that I found myself taking extensive

notes on things I can do to improve.

As a productivity expert, I thought I

wouldn’t find anything new in this

book, but I was very wrong!

“If you’re inspired on a Friday, swear

off the weekend and dive into the

project. When you’re high on

inspiration, you can get two weeks of

work done in twenty-four hours.

Inspiration is a time machine in that

way.”

Overall a quick read (easily read in 4

hours) that offered lots of valuable

information and a different approach

to work and business. I loved the

simplicity of the book and highly

recommend it.

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I read this book and got so much

inspiration from it and so many action

tips to take on in my own business

journey, that it was more like an

experience, than reading a business

book.

“This is a different kind of business

book for different kinds of people.”

The authors want the reader to look

at doing business in a new way. The

old rules for launching a business or

conducting business have changed.

One of the key takeaways I took

from this book was about growth.

Why grow? That one question

brought up many issues and ideas

for me. Does every business need to

grow huge?

“What’s wrong with finding the right

size and staying there?”

APM’s Book Review by lena Turvey

2

Is there a predetermined size of the

business or can you set out to only

grow so big and be happy with that?

The authors think so, and they also like

to keep things simple.

“Small is not just a stepping-stone.

Small is a great destination in itself.”

This is a great book to read when you

are in the growth phase of your

business or when you are stuck and are

not sure what to do next. It even has

gems in there for people who are still

working for someone else.

I absolutely loved the section on being

more effective, more productive and

basically just getting things done.

Wasting time doing nothing when you

have finished your work for the day

,because it’s not yet home time, is

incredibly wasteful. Can you imagine

the difference in productivity if we were

allowed to spend our work time the way

we wanted to?

Author: David Heinemeier-Hansson

Lena xx


FIFTEEN

SIXTEEN

You Must Understand Me Before Getting

My Money PENNY VOTZOURAKIS - CUSTOMER SERVICE

1

No two people are alike, and that’s because we

are shaped by different behavioral patterns.

These patterns determine how we live and act,

and what we can achieve.

When we meet certain needs that are shared by

all human beings, namely certainty, uncertainty,

connection, growth, significance, and

contribution, then happiness and success can

be attained, depending on which of these core

needs are most important. Understanding these

needs and how they affect our lives will help us

relate better to our customers and clients.

The first need we will discuss is certainty. A

client wants to know that the

plan he/she has will run as planned, and that

there will be a solution to his or

her situation. These people are not risk-takers,

neither do they like new things. They like

dealing with the same people, otherwise they

will look elsewhere in seeking products or

services.

The next need is uncertainty. People who like

uncertainty want a fun experience. They tend to

be risk takers; however, they will shop

elsewhere if necessary since they are not

committed to you or your business.

Connection is next in our needs list. Believe it or

not, very few customers shop online. This is

probably because we share that need to

connect with others. If a client receives great

customer services and is made to feel important

and special, then he or she will continue

to work with you.

Growth is an important need for clients because

they want to learn and grow in their experience

with a product or service. This is often

Penny V

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accomplished through sharing stories in a sales or

marketing presentation, which stimulates the brain

and allows clients to become better educated

about what they are interested in purchasing or

using.

Next on our list is significance. We already know

that people want to feel special. When clients are

interacting with you, they need to see that you

care enough to help them address their concerns.

They do not want to be ignored, especially by staff

members who are more concerned about the

latest gossip or text than the customer. Listening,

therefore, is a key quality of customer service.

Make your client feel significant by giving little

gifts, or following up on a purchase, or inviting

them to a special VIP night.

The last need to consider is contribution. Clients

want to be able to contribute their views, opinions,

and thoughts about your product or service.

Forums, focus groups, and questionnaires can

be valuable tools to assess this information.

However, the client needs to see that he or she is

being heard, and that you will act upon

the data you received.

The most successful businesses are those who

understand their clients before making key

business decisions. Knowing your clients’ core

needs, and knowing which ones are most

important to them, will help you and your staff

achieve your business goals.

Remember; People Buy People.

SEVENTEEN


helentreloar.com

Get Organised

www.howtobemoreorganised.com

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m: (+61) 0424 839 385 e: [email protected]

Lena

Lena Turvey - Productivity


TWENTY

1

I was thinking about my goal list the other day and I

started to wonder what I should do about it. I mean, is

there something else I should be doing to achieve the

goals other than just looking at the written list every

now and then and ticking off the ones I achieve?

I then thought about business, big business, small

business and even micro businesses. They all have

goals, they all have plans to some degree. What do

they do to work on achieving their goals?

In the past, I have broken down my goals into all the

little sub tasks that need to be done in order to achieve

the overall big goal. To do that, I either worked

backwards from the goal to arrive at the first action

(task) I had to do in order to get started on the goal, or I

worked forward by starting with the very next action

(task) I had to take in order to get started and work on

from there.

I vary these methods depending on if I know what the

first task will be or not. Often the overall goal is not that

hard to achieve, it just may be hard to get it started by

knowing what the steps you need to take will be.

I know that once those steps are outlined, something

weird happens, they actually start getting done and

before I know it, I have broken through the

procrastination and I have completed the goal. Go me!

2

Other times, nothing happens. I sit there

knowing I need to do something to start on the

road to achieving my goals but nothing

happens. This type of goal requires more

detailed planning and a little devious touch.

This is what I do.

I schedule it into my calendar in the next week.

I almost never use this week as it feels too soon

and sometimes I need some space between me

and the goal, even though I do want to achieve

it, I just need the imaginary huge time frame to

get used to the idea of completing or even just

starting a new project or task.

I don’t know why I need to trick myself into

doing this, but it works for me. Do you have any

tips or tricks you use on yourself or others to

get your tasks done and achieve your goals?

What are they?

Techniques To Reach Your Goals

‘SHE WHO DARES WINS’ ‘SHE WHO

DARES WINS’

1

I recently had the opportunity to go to Sydney to listen, meet, connect and be inspired by a woman who was part of my Goals for the first quarter of 2015.

I have followed, supported and encouraged the Lisa Messenger journey over the past 4 years since having first heard her speak. It's funny how in today's society we can feel an instant connection (or not) with someone. Thanks to social media I feel like I really know Lisa. I see photos of her personal life, her engagement, her dog, her holidays and her business achievements. However, in reality I know this is not true. I only get the snippets of Lisa she wants us to see.

2

Six weeks before the closed-door event, I received an invitation to attend. However some part of me came up with every excuse under the sun as to why meeting my idol was not possible.

- It's in Sydney

- This will cost me extra money

- I have other appointments

- Blah blah blah Bullshit Bullshit!!!

I was so disappointed at my decision that even upon being asked again if I was coming, made up excuses – “TOO BUSY” – in hindsight I ask, “TOO BUSY” doing what?

The night before the event I received a last minute text from the organiser saying that I

Beckie White⏐ Stylist

WHEN TO QUIETEN YOUR INNER ADULT AND RELEASE

YOUR INNER CHILD


3

would be missed tomorrow, but she understood how busy I was.

My son happened to see this text and asked, “What and where are you going to be missed tomorrow?” I then proceeded to explain to him and my husband how badly I had wanted to go and of course my excuses spewed out of my mouth along side my answer.

My husband replied “What a load of Bullshit! If you want to go that bad JUST DO IT! What’s more important; that you attend the meetings or be in the space of someone you will learn and grow from?”

At that moment I'm not sure what happened (some kind of magic!) It was like I had been given permission to do what I wanted to do.

4

I realise that my ‘Inner Adult’ had been like the Sergeant Major “Fun Police” and was trying to squash and control my ‘Inner Child’s’ spirit and desires with all these lame excuses.

It was at that time my ‘inner child’ suddenly grew larger inside of me and had a voice that over-shadowed my ‘inner adult’. Suddenly I shouted "well let's look for some flights!".

My ‘inner adult’ said “well they will all be too expensive and not available at the times you want.” As you can imagine, my ‘inner child’ was right; great prices, perfect times and voila, before I new it, I was booked!

I can't begin to describe the joy my ‘inner child’ was feeling. I began dancing like no-one could see me, I was singing the happy song and throwing the high-five mid air.


TWENTYTHREE

5

My ‘inner adult’ took a moments back seat and said "well now you have to reschedule all tomorrows appointments" and guess what; ‘inner child’ did just that and all happily locked in for another time – easy peasy :)

Have you ever experienced this?

Maybe I'm the only crazy one who has two voices in my head saying yes do it – no don’t. I like to call it the 'chattering monkeys' and now I have taken that to a new level as one monkey is an adult and the other is a playful kid.

Or maybe it happens to you too. If this is the case keep reading, if not then maybe this is the place for you to stop.

For those of you who are still reading, I guess you get where I'm coming from.

How do you know when this adult monkey is ruling your thoughts and stopping you from moving forward and doing what you really want to do?

Here's just a few ways to recognise when your inner adult and inner child are in conflict:

- You want to do something or be somewhere, but you make excuses that don’t serve or enrich you. It's what you think you should be doing or it's the right thing to do. This leaves you feeling empty, cross with yourself and frustrated.

-You want to be somewhere but the excuse of money gets in the way. Inner adult is screaming you can’t afford it. Inner child is saying don’t worry we will work it out; all will be good, look at the benefits.

- You feel disappointed and often blame others for your poor choices.

So to help you do what helped me in this moment of Monkey madness, inner adult verses inner child, I have consciously decided to:

6

- Go with the inner voice that fuels my belly/soul.

- Start to make decisions around what’s going to enrich my life rather than make me feel empty.

- Put that inner adult back in their place now and then and let the inner child dance the happy dance more often.

- Do what makes me sing rather than what I think I should do to make others sing.

- Live the life I want and desire.

Easier said than done you may be saying? Well I say that’s your inner adult talking!! Tell them to be quiet for a while because your inner child is filled with wonder, curiosity and play. When we step out of our comfort zone and climb the trees or smell the roses, new beginnings are possible and opportunities will surround you.

When it comes to styling, your inner adult and inner child conversations also happen, around and within your wardrobes. Inner adult is all about wearing what is appropriate, what you look good in and how you “should” dress for every occasion. Inner child is all about trying something different, having a play, not caring what others think or how they will judge you and being comfortable in your own skin. Inner child wants you to always shine as BRIGHT as you can and by doing this you allow others to shine with you.

I ask you the question; who is in your driver’s seat when is comes to your life and style decisions?

Stylishly Yours


Beckie

TWENTYFOUR

Beckie White⏐ Stylist

'The Kid in you holds the key to

living a full and rich life.

Let her out to play!’

CHERYL RICHARDSON

1

What is Article Marketing?

Article marketing is a simple and

quite effective traffic generation

strategy. The idea is to write articles

and publish them on online article

directories like ezines.com. The

articles you publish will be on topics

relevant to your niche business.

For example, if you have an internet

business focused on natural

treatments for diabetes, then the

articles you publish will all have

something to do with natural

treatments for diabetes.

2

This is important, because the people

who are reading your articles are

prospects. You want to provide them with

information relevant to your website topic

because they’re going to visit your

website after they read your article. If

your website is on a different topic then

you have traffic coming to your site but it

is traffic that is going to likely click away

almost immediately. That doesn’t do you

any good.

How Article Marketing Works

When you write and publish an article on

an article marketing directory, you’re

Traffic Generation -

Art icle Market ing Part TWO of a three Part Series

Julie Bourke⏐ Technology

3

actually accomplishing several things at

once. You’re first and foremost, driving

traffic to your website. This is because

not only will your article be available on

the article directory for search engines

to find and people to read, other website

owners with similar topics can and will

publish your article on their website.

When this happens you’re now reaching

a new group of people who will read

your article and click through to your

website. Now, I’ve mentioned clicking

through to your website a few times and

you may be wondering how this

4

happens. Each article you publish will

have at a minimum, an author’s bio

box at the bottom.

This is where you include a little bit

about yourself, a call to action and a

link to your website. Some article

directories also allow you to include

embedded links within the body of your

article.

So article marketing enables you to

build traffic in two very important ways.

It creates links to your website, which

in turn improves your SEO ranking and

thus you receive more traffic from

basic search engine searches.

It also improves your traffic because

more people are coming across your

content and clicking through to your

website – you’re reaching more

people.

Article marketing also helps boost your

credibility as an expert in your niche

topic. When you provide valuable

information to people looking for a

solution or answers, you become a

trusted resource. Article marketing

helps you achieve that goal.

How To Get The Job Done

The key to making the most of this

traffic generation tactic is to write great

articles. This means they’re easy to

read, offer a benefit, and entice the

reader to visit your site for more

information. There are a few key

strategies to accomplishing this tactic

well:

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015 5

• Give your article an attention

grabbing headline • Use headings and subheadings to

make your article easy to read.

(Headings and subheadings are also

the ideal place to position your

keywords) • Focus on offering quality information.

If you have trouble finding topics to

write about, spend some time

focusing on your prospect’s

problems. What would they

want/need to know to solve those

problems? • Make sure to include a link to your

website • Make sure to include a call to action • Focus on article directories that meet

your needs. There are many large

scale article directories and these are

great to use. However, you may want

to also look for article directories that

cater to your industry • Always choose the appropriate

category(s) when publishing your

article

What Does Article Marketing Cost?

For the most part, article marketing sites

are free to publish your content on. This

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means the only real expense is the

cost of creating the articles

themselves.

If you write the content yourself, then

this is a completely free tactic that

typically generates great results. If you

choose to hire a writer to create the

content for you, then you have the cost

of the writer to consider. However, the

return on investment can be quite

wonderful.

Taking Article Marketing To The

Next Level

An easy way to take your article

marketing efforts to the next level is to

publish your articles in newsletters,

print publications and on other

websites. This requires an additional

step of finding relevant

people/businesses interested in

publishing your content. However; it

can really give your efforts a boost and

generate the credibility and traffic

you’re looking for.

Julie

TWENTYSEVEN


TWENTYEIGHT

All Reality

Joanne Clark - NLP

1

Over the holidays we had a friend of our son’s visit from Germany. Having her stay with us and comparing the different ways our cultures see the world, reminded us that our 'taken for granted' reality isn’t actually real – it is just made up!

Despite the fact that we almost always live as though there is ‘a’ single reality that exists and that we all share, NLP shows us that each person’s experience of reality is different. In NLP we refer to this idea as ‘The Map is not the Territory’. It means that whilst there is a reality ‘out there’ (i.e. the territory), we human’s can never really get access to it. All we can do is filter (relatively few) aspects of it through our five senses and then delete, distort and generalize to fit our already-existing view of the world (our map). Just like any map can only be a representation of the world, so our individual maps can

2

only be a representation of reality - it can never be reality itself.

Why does this matter? Well, in life it can seem as if there is a common shared reality made up of a whole lot of social rules and boundaries that exist outside of each of us. A reality to which we must conform and against which we measure and are measured to be good enough or not, and successful or not. Based on this assessment, we judge and are judged. And in a culture, the construction of the illusion of an actual shared reality is greatly controlled and impacted by the press, the popular media and those who influence it. This means that the culture of that society, the beliefs, explanations, perceptions and values, represent the worldviews (i.e., the maps) of a few, and these then become the ones that are imposed and accepted as if they belong to us all.

Yet there are moments when this facade of a shared reality is challenged.

~Dymphna Cusack~ Is Made Up

3

Dymphna Cusack

In the early part of the 20th century Dymphna Cusack challenged the dominant perceptions (maps) of Australian society. Putting pen to paper in her first-published novel Jungfrau (1936), Dymphna stripped back the veneer of women’s lives and forced previously hidden truths out into the street. Introducing her three female characters, she pioneered discussion on the taboo topics of abortion, sexuality, female aspirations and the role of women in Australian society:

‘Women are cursed alright. If you wither on the virgin stem you go all pathological; if you go off the deep end you get some foul disease; and if you marry and have dozens of young you die of exhaustion.’

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belief

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Explanation

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perception

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Value_system

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Worldview

5

realities of the time she lived in. Her acute powers of observation and talent as a writer enabled her to capture the witty, poignant and irreverent Australian culture and characters. She was able to portray them in ways that contrasted starkly with the shiny facade hiding the unique and

6

diverse nature of alternate, individual maps of reality and giving them a powerful voice.

And it is in these moments of clarity that new possibilities are created. Consequently, women felt freer to openly question their lot and perhaps create their own choices.

Despite Dymphna’s writing success, she could not afford to survive on the income of her writing alone, so she also worked as a teacher, employed by the NSW Department of Education. Although she received high acclaim as a writer, in her role as a teacher the Department held a distinctly unenthusiastic view of what they perceived as dangerous and radical concepts, which could contaminate the susceptible minds of a fresh generation! However the risk of adverse publicity if she was dismissed from teaching, was

7

equally unattractive to them. The Education Department decided to mitigate their perceived risks and banished Dymphna to Bathurst High


4

Dymphna ripped back the shiny veneer that limited the lives, the perceptions and the experiences of individuals that masked the multitude of possible

8

School. Appointments at similarly remote locations of Parkes and Newcastle followed.

Dymphna continued to write many highly successful plays and novels, describing with acerbic humour the ‘drama’ of middle class Australia. With her long-time friend and fellow writer Florence James, she wrote her next great success – Come in Spinner. This mocking expose of the inequalities of wartime Sydney was awarded a thousand pound prize by the Daily Telegraph. However it caused a stir, with threats of defamation action due to their accurate portrayals of ‘fictitious’ characters in compromising situations resulting in the Daily Telegraph becoming nervous about publishing it.

Knowing they had to take action to realise the publication of their book, Florence and Dymphna arranged for

burgewords.files.wordpress.com

TWENTYNINE

9

the book to be published in London. It became an immediate bestseller. The hypocrisy Come in Spinner unveiled left many a Sydney socialite red-faced because of the high-life they led as other Australian's suffered the depravation of our country’s part in WWII.

Her talent for giving voice to those who had little opportunity to be heard was again proven when Dymphna wrote Black Lightning, which brought to the attention of many Australian's, the plight of being aboriginal in a country that even had laws to deny aboriginal people Australian citizenship. Imagine being a white woman advocating for Aboriginal rights in 1964! Dymphna Cusack, using the power of her pen, again broke the mold.

One of Australia’s most translated and internationally popular writers,

10

Dymphna Cusack lived to bring to the public consciousness the maps of those who did not have a voice; women, the poor, the unemployed and indigenous Australians'. Through her words, she showed a world from their viewpoint. Her powerful stories of real characters in real situations altered people’s perceptions of acceptable and unacceptable, good and bad, right and wrong. They helped transform a nation’s conscience because she asked, "what if things are not as they seem?". "What if the experience and life of those who don’t fit the mold is reality?" "What if the map we have of reality is not the territory and there are other possibilities?" "What would be different, what would we change?"

11

The challenge given to us in Dymphna Cusack’s writing is to see beyond our own maps of reality and explore how creating alternate possibilities for ourselves can liberate us to connect with what it is we do want. And knowing what we do want means we can begin to ask; what would this life and these experiences be like if I changed some of my map of reality? In NLP we learn and apply powerful tools to understand your own map, and, where appropriate learn or model from the maps of others, and from this, construct a life you truly want. When you have the tools then you are empowered to build your own reality - your way.

Make today your day.

TWENTYSEVEN


Joanne

australianplays.org

www.flickr.com

THIRTY

Summer 10

Must Haves 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

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With summer just around the corner it is time for you to get your essentials ready. Here are our ‘must haves’ for the season.

1. Bold Nail Polish Brighten up any outfit with a fun and colourful nail colour. L’Oreal So Chic Pink, Pearl de Jade, Dating Coral $7.95

2. Oversized Hand Bag Fit all your summer essentials into a large statement bag, you’ll never forget a thing. Miss Velvet, CADELLE - Sarita – Camel, $239.95

3. Large Floppy Hat

Shade yourself from the harsh summer sun with a wide brim hat, the added style is a bonus. Seafolly, Babylon Hat, $49.95

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4. Striking Dress A bright coloured outfit will lighten any mood this summer. Miss Velvet, Lounge Boardwalk Dress, $169

5. Smoothing Spray Prevent the heat from frizzing your hair with a smoothing serum. L’Oreal, Elvive Smooth-Intense Serum, $11.99

6. Sunscreen A Sunscreen should definitely be on your musts list, whether you’re at the beach or exercising. Neutrogena, Beach Defence Water + Sun, $12.69

7. Statement Jewellery A striking piece of jewellery can make any outfit, whether you’re ready for a day in the sun or a night-time social. Colette, Mixed Shaped Stretch Wrist wear, Turquoise, $14.99

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE8 2015

3

8. Nude Wedges Wedges are your ultimate comfort heel, and nude is a great tone for summer that can match all outfits. Miss Velvet, NUDE, Honor, $159.95

9. Sunglasses Protect your eyes with an oversized pair of sunglasses. Sunglass Hut, Vogue, Timeless, $199

10. Bold Lip Colour A bright and fun lip colour is the final touch to any outfit. Clinique, Chubby Stick Baby Tint,

$35.00

\

1

“I’m not going!”

The words from the teenager who no longer wants to

go on holiday with the family – as the beach holiday is

“not what I like”.

In a family, hopefully where everyone feels safe, (and

yet we know this isn’t so for too many,) we express

ourselves freely, we put our needs into the

conversation. Depending upon our needs and the

sense of empowerment or even entitlement in the

situation, can be the force or conviction of the

expression.

In a workplace, self expression of needs is less

common, as there is usually real and present fear of

repercussions from a statement that people know is

not what the group wants to hear. They fear being

overlooked for promotion or a pay rise or at worst,

being sacked.

What is clear is that in situations where there is a

need/goal, there is usually at least two positions; one

for and one against.

2

So who decides which side prevails and what action

will be taken or dismissed?

In a social environment of control, the person feared

most will win. By NOT pleasing this person, the

predictable consequences are too much to bear, so

the other party backs down.

The fear doesn’t need to be of violence for a ‘back

down’ to occur, it can be far more subtle than that…

disconnect, moody behaviour… sulking and avoiding

communication, tears and tantrums. The emotional

vortex can be very uncomfortable to be around. I

have found this type of decision making process to be

alive and well in many families – there is usually a

member of the family who takes everyone else

emotionally hostage to their needs being met.

In a workplace, the higher position or title usually gets

the last word, although not always. Weaker leaders

will bow to the strength of conviction and passion of a

subordinate, where they believe to not ‘back them’

will cause ramifications they feel ill equipped to deal

with – they will avoid responsibility in order to please

the stronger character.

THIRTYTWO

APM FOUNDER ~ HELEN TRELOAR

Soul Food IF YOU GO YOUR OWN WAY

3

The behaviour present in the situations above is

CONTROL. I hear people talk about it often, as if

they themselves have none.

We all have influence. How we choose to engage

with it is the question.

Control is power. I will have my way, regardless

of what others want or need. I am sure my way is

best.

Control becomes safety. I feel best about myself

when things are going my way.

Control is emotional weakness. I know people

don’t like me or what I do in these situations, but I

know no other way.

Do you have a family member who takes others

emotionally hostage? Do you work with or for

someone who prefers to avoid discussion and

input and instead goes to decision making from

their own needs base? Do you have opinions,

needs and feelings that you withhold and

suppress, so as not to upset the stronger

personality in the family / group / business?

4

We are each ‘going our own way’. We have chosen

the role we will play. We may be controlling or we may

be passive or we may be an enabler… Whatever the

behaviour, it is our choice. There are always other

options.

So today’s Soul Food question for you to ponder… is

‘going your own way’ working well for you?

If it’s not – what other ways might you consider?

For a person of control to get their way, there needs to

be at least one other person who is willing to

relinquish their needs. Is that you?

A Peaceful Mind comes from purposeful living, or as

the in-word of the moment states, living ‘mindfully‘.

You are a vessel of pure potential; the only person

who can realise that potential is YOU x

Helen

THIRTYTHREE


1

Starting and running a business has many challenges.

As I started my business over 11 years ago, I quickly learnt that challenges will constantly pop up, sometimes unexpectedly, and I learnt to refer to them as obstacles rather than brick walls. They were things to

2

get around rather than to stop me in my tracks.

Looking back over the last 11 years, if I had been asked day one if I would go into business, knowing some of the challenges I have faced were to occur, would it have stopped me going forward?... easily I would have said “Yes -

3

there's no way I'm going forward, I'm not interested!” At the time, I had a good job that was secure and paid reasonably well and I really enjoyed it.

Having been confronted with and living through those challenges, I can now reflect and say the ones I thought were challenges were merely a process to go through, an obstacle to get around.

· Financial knock backs . Cash flow management · Legal cases · VCAT

The challenge that I never thought would have been a challenge was opening myself up to the ‘public’. I came from

THIRTYFOUR

The Challenges of Starting

Pippa Hanson ⏐ A Personal Journey Do You Fear Being Exposed?


and Running a Business

5

introduce myself but then what? I didn’t want to be asked about me? That was my private life, I didn’t share my private life with strangers.

It was easy to look the part, dress up and turn up. In the early days what was going on the inside, did not match the cool, calm and confident looking exterior.

I was passionate about my new venture, I also had a lot at stake financially if it wasn’t successful. I have never been known to give up; there is always a solution.

4

working in a secure government organisation where it wasn’t hard to build rapport and relationships as we were all on the same team, and a lot of what was occurring in the ‘real world’ had no impact on my daily life.

As a business owner, I quickly realized that I needed to make new connections and relationships in our local area with other business owners. I started, by attending networking nights, chamber nights and other local events. Wow! Overwhelmed is an understatement.

This may sound familiar to you, however I also need to mention that I have always been a very confident person, happy to share my opinions and views and put my hand up and volunteer to be the captain or the spokesperson.

In this new environment I felt like a fish out of water. What did I have to talk about? What experience did I have? Self-doubt crept in, how could it not? ‘Hi I’m Pippa from The Sports Injury Clinic’, easy to

6

With this combination I took baby steps and started meeting one person at a time and building real relationships and networks. I let myself be vulnerable to talk about me, my likes, my interests and family.

I still look at challenges as obstacles rather than brick walls and today networking is like going to a fair.

I look forward to hearing about your choices.

Pippa


THIRTYFIVE

“I have never been known to give up; there

is always a solution.”

1

Despite the large compensation and perks, being a high-flying CEO comes with its challenges, many of which no one is aware of except the CEO themselves. In fact, in today’s fast paced world, CEO’s face more pressure now than ever. With markets and technologies that are changing rapidly, as well as a huge surge in financial and legal scrutiny, top CEO executives can certainly push themselves to the point of mental, emotional, and physical breakdown.

The Many Roles of the CEO

A CEO has many responsibilities, which over time can really weigh on his or her shoulders. First, a CEO is the ultimate decision maker and director of the company.

2

They are also the executor and manager. They're the head honcho; the one that everyone praises when things are going well and the one they scoff at when things don't. Their mind tends to always be in thought about the how, when, and why’s of the company. They don't even feel stress anymore because they are so accustomed to it. At times, they feel like the world is on their shoulders.

Still, at the same time, most CEO’s are confident and utilize their management skills to the best of their ability. In fact, some are so confident their egos are in over-active mode. This can ultimately lead them into conflict in and out of the office, as they may be so confident that they are not willing to be open to other people’s ideas.

Sharing Sexual Fantasies

AMANDA MALLIA – The Man’s Perspective

THIRTYSIX FOU

3

Navigating Intimate Relationships

With so many work responsibilities, coming home and trying to navigate an intimate relationship can oftentimes be a struggle for CEO’s. Certainly, their interpersonal relationships can suffer depending on various factors. Dealing with business all day can put a man in “business mode.” While at work, mentally, he’s sharp, emotionally, he’s passionate, and physically, his nervous system is on high alert. Adrenaline is pumping, as he knows he must get a zillion things done by the end of the work day in order to keep the business running smoothly.

So when he gets off work, he may be completely zapped. His energy level is high, yet he needs to come down and relax for a while. Many people who work stressful jobs


Your CEO Man

Amanda

4

simply need to take an hour or so to unwind and do some self-care before engaging with others. It’s necessary and healthy.

The way women and men deal with such pressures differs. Your man’s role as CEO takes a toll on him, whether he lets you know or not. He may be silently experiencing much pressure and either not be accustomed to sharing or not feel safe to share. As his partner, create a safe space for him to be vulnerable and honest with you about his stress levels, allowing no room for judgment. Give him some time to unwind and you’ll both be better off in the long run.

If you’re not sure how to support your partner and his role as CEO, simply have a genuine heart-to-heart with him and allow him to share. Your relationship can thrive when such authentic communication can occur. The most powerful thing can sometimes be the simplest. Be present, be a genuine listener to his needs, and you’ll soon see him open to you more and more, making you a watertight force.


1

The old adage “You can’t put an old

head on young shoulders” is so true,

though if I could go back in time,

what would be some of the

conversations I would have with my

younger self?

Firstly, I would like to say that I

would not change anything about my

life. Everything that has happened

has been a learning experience and

has taken me on a path to where I

am today, a woman who wakes up

every morning, inspired and

passionate about her life. A woman

who loves what she sees in the

mirror and a woman who has

become her own best friend.

So I guess the advice I would give to

my younger self would be just that...

”Wake up every day, spend time on

yourself first, look at yourself in the

mirror for 5-10 minutes, get to know

yourself, be passionate and inspired

about your life, become your own

best friend as you are the only

person you will be spending your

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entire life with and if you don’t like

what you see, FANTASTIC as

awareness is the first step to

CHANGE”.

WOW, it totally sounds like I have my

whole life together. And Yes I do,

though it wasn't that long ago I was in

a bit of a mess. But I am getting

ahead of myself. I would like to tell

you a bit about myself as there is one

thing I have learnt in my 57 years, is

that there is always gems in hearing

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about other people’s

journey that you can

take away and

embrace into your

own life.

I am a BraveHeart

Woman and I am also

a wife, mother and a

former Chief Financial

Officer (CFO) of a

publicly listed

company.

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I grew up in a large family (6 girls and 1

boy) and in hindsight I was always

seeking attention. This, no doubt, is

why I found myself pregnant at 16 and

in an unmarried mother’s home. Now I

know I did the right thing by adopting

out my daughter as she has had a

marvellous life, totally loved by her

parents and has wanted for nothing. I

know that if I had kept her, I would have

probably married her father and been

divorced with 3 kids by 20... a life I

never wanted.


THIRTYEIGHT

The Other Side of Loss and Heartbreak The Key to Becoming Your Own Best Friend

Guest Writer – Karen Chaston

http://braveheartwomen.com/


6

that I go and get my formal

qualifications (best advice I have

ever received), so at 38 I found

myself at Bond University studying

my Masters Of Accounting (life

was my under grad).

By 43 I was a CPA, working as a

Financial Controller. As my boys

were travelling the world, my

husband and I decided to move

back to Sydney as I would attract

better roles.

I was right, within a few years I

was CFO of a publicly listed

company earning mid 6 figures.

Most people looking at me would

have thought I was very

successful… great job, family,

house on the northern beaches,

great car and oversea trips. And I

would have agreed with them.

Though now, I have become more

conscious, I would strongly

disagree. I did not realise how dis-

eased I was. I was so un-healthy -

15 kilos heavier than what I am

now, drinking way too much,

wasting my money, working 7

days a week. In a “ground-hog

day daze”. And looking back, most

of my peers were living and still

are living a similar life.

So what changed? What

happened to make me more

conscious?

Well firstly, as I mentioned, my

son Dan passed away. It was a

sudden passing, totally

unexpected and to be honest I did

5

I did however marry young at 20 and

had 3 amazing sons, Ben, Josh and

Dan. Josh and Dan were twins and

unfortunately Dan passed away

nearly 3 years ago in July 2011,

aged 27. The loss of a child is the

hardest cross for any parent to bear.

I always said that I had twins

because I did the right thing by my

daughter. Ironically, Dan’s passing

has brought me closer to my

daughter, Kim. Prior to that, I would

see Kim once a year. It’s funny how

death gives everything a new

perspective. Yes there are no

guarantees that the aged will pass

first, so embrace each day as your

last as one day it will be.

In my 30’s, I always felt that I was

missing something. Now don’t get

me wrong I loved my family, we had

a great house and I had a really

good job – Financial Systems

Manager at Dreamworld on the Gold

Coast. One day my boss suggested


THIRTYNINE

7

not know how to be a grieving mother, so

I very quickly went back to work – I saw it

as a distraction.

Then a year later, the best thing

happened, I was made redundant. This

was my choice and I totally believe that

my son Dan has given me this gift. He

was always on my case, “Mum get off the

computer, you work too much, you eat

and drink too much, when are you going

to start to be the person you came here

to be?”

Within weeks of knowing about my

pending redundancy I found myself

at Rise LA the BraveHeart

Women (BHW) yearly conference. When

my girlfriend and I flew there we were not

100% sure what BHW was all about, all

we knew was that I had looked at this

event for the prior 3 years and thought it

looked interesting.

Well it was more than interesting; it was

transformational from the inside out and

what I had been looking for my whole life.

I felt like I had come home.

After growing up with 5 sisters, I was

never really one to hang out with the

girls. I found the distorted energies that

some women foster (competition,

jealousy, mistrust) to be exhausting.

BraveHeart Women me a new way for

me to be with myself and with other

women and collaborate.

Karen Chaston



CHARITY APM has founded a charity specifically to bring opportunity to Australian Women and Children. 2BMe Foundation raises funds to connect those who are focused and committed to improving their own life circumstances, to the resources that enable them to do so. www.2bmefoundation.org.au We look forward to bringing you more news about what we are doing and how you might get involved very soon.

www.facebook.com/pages/A-‐Peaceful-‐Mind www.twitter.com/APeacefulMind_ www.apeacefulmind.com.au

WRITERS WANTED Do you LOVE to write and believe you a story to tell that inspires or educates women? APM love to share – and your submission will be received with gratitude and excitement. CONACT US AT: [email protected]

a peaceful mind issue 8

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