49 if you are a student
TRANSCRIPT
MAYANK
KOTHARI IF YOU ARE A
STUDENT…!!!
2 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
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Copyright 2003 Macsam Group
3 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
Agar aap student ho aur Sigrate pite
ho n drink bhi karte ho to meri ek
salah mano
Kal se padhna bhi chod-do.
Aur agar padhna hi chahte ho to
Mujhe padhne ki vajah batao….
Aaj tak tumne jitna bhi padha vo kya
isiliye tha ki tum sigrate aur sharab
pine lag jao,
Aapke hisab se to aapko padhane vale
aapke guru hi pagal the.
4 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
Unhone aapko padhaya aur aap aaj
unhi ki bejjati kar rahe ho.
Padhai ka matlab kya hota hai
Class me first aana hi padhai nahi
hota, Teacher k puche hue question ka
javab dena hi padhai nahi hota.
Shiksha aapko jindagi jeena sikhati hai
naki peena.
5 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
Aaj log tarah-tarah ki galiyo ka prayog
karte hai.
AC, KC, MC, aur na jane kaisi kaisi.
Mujhe bataiye yahi sab sikhna tha to
apna kimti samay padhne me barbad
kyon kiya?
Agar padhai ki jagah ye sab bachpan
me hi karte to aaj aap expert to
kehlate,
Joki padhai me jindagi janm ho nahi
saka.
6 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
Aur kuch aisa bhi- Kitni hi jagaho par
Boards aur Posters lage hue hote hai ki
-
“Gutkha, Sigrate, Sharab Sehet ke liye
hanikarak hote hai, Krupya inse parhej
kare.”
Aise aise boards aur posters lagaye
jayenge par inki kharedi-bikri pe
pabandi nahi lagegi. Are sigrate ke
box pe bhi likha hone ke bavajud log
shan se sigrate pite hai.
Mera kehne ka saaf matlab yahi hai ki
koi bhi kam karo par puri lagan se
karo.
Bhale hi vo pina ho ya pilana!!!
7 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
Sahi suna aapne……
PILANA bhi aaj kal bahot chalta hai,
Ek bat batau…, agar aapka koi kaam
ruka ho, ya koi kaam shuru hi nahi ho
pa raha, ya fir koi bhi mushkil ho
jisme kisi third party ka samavesh ho.
To chinta mat kariye, aapki is mushkil
ka hal bhi hai mere paas.
Sirf ek kam kijiye, us third party ke
samne kuch paise rakh dijiye, fir
dekhiye aapka kam kaise nahi hota.
8 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
Are mai jhuth nahi bol raha hu!!!!!
Mere sath aisa pehle ho chuka hai
Ek din mai koi form lene college gaya
tha.
Kisi aur kam mai fasa hua tha isiliye
college pahonchne mai bahot deri ho
gayi, par jab college pahoncha to
dekha ki form ke liye kafi logo ki line
lagi hui thi,.
Mai shuruvat mai to thoda pareshan
hua, fir chup chap jake line mai khada
ho gaya.
Thodi hi der mai 2 bande aaye, jis
window ke samne form ki line lagi thi
9 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
usi ke paas ja pahunche aur unme se
ek ne kaha ki sir meri behen ki tabiyat
kharab hai, doctor ko dikhane jana hai,
please thoda form jaldi de dijiye.
Form issue karne wale ne saaf saaf keh
diya “bhaiya line me lago, number
aayega to le lena”
Par vo bhai sahab to bade hi
experienced nikle.
Window ke side se andar jane ke liye
jo darvaja tha vaha chupchap gaye,
Jate samay gatekeeper ko Rs. 50 diye,
Andar jane k bad Issuer ko Rs.150
diye,
10 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
Fir Form ke Rs. 20 diye ,
Aur gaddi nikal ke chalta bana.
Rs. 20 ke form ke liye us bande ne
Rs.220 kharch kiye, yani 11 guna
jyada….
Aur mai sirf dekhta reh
gaya…………….
Jara sochiye jaha shiksha di jati hai
vaha table ke niche se kisi aur tarah ki
shiksha li bhi jati hai….
11 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
Vote mangne ke liye Politician logo ko
kharidte hai, sharab paroste hai aur
desh ko banate hai shmashan....
Aur shan se kehte hai ki
Mera Bharat Mahan!!!!
Wah kya tarika hai in logo ka!!!!!!!
Ye logo ko bevkuf banate jate hai aur
log bevkuf bante jate hai,
Ek din jab mai office se ghar aaya to
mere mobile pe kuch is tarah ka
message aaya
“A poorman catches a Fish.
Wife can’t cook due to…
12 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
No Gas
No Current
No Oil
Man put the fish back in the river
Fish comes up and shout
Sarkar Jindabad!!!! “
He he…. Achha message tha na…!!!!
Mai to kehta hu ki har mahine election
hone chahiye,
Isi bahane kum se kum bijli aur pani
to aata rahega.
13 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
60 saal se jyada bit chuke hai Azadi ko
aur aaj bhi hum Bijli aur Pani ke liye
rote rehte hai
Are itna waqt to Taj Mahal ban-ne me
bhi nahi laga tha,
Aaj bhi kitne hi aise chhote chhote
gaon honge jaha schools nahi hai,
kitne hi honge jaha school ka nam bhi
kisi ko pata nahi hai.
Kitne hi gaon aise honge jo hokar bhi
na ke barabar hai.
14 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
Aapse mai kuch nahi chahta,
Nahi paisa,
Nahi gadi,
Nahi bangla. He he …. :-) :-) :-)
Bas chahta hu to ye ki aap thoda
socho.
Sach kehta hoon aapki ye soch pure
Desh ka naksha badal sakti hai.
Aap apne manse saal bhar me koi bhi
ek achha kam karo,
15 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
Agar aap aur desh ka har insan aisa
karta hai to har saal 120 crore se bhi
jyada problems dur ki ja sakti hai…
Bator udaharan
Kisi garib ko padhana,
Kisi garib ko madad karna,
Kachre ko uski sahi jagah dikhana,
Bematlab behte pani ko bachana,
Electricity bachana.
Aur na jane aise kitne hi kam honge,
Mere liye to sabse badi khushi ki bat
tab hi hogi jab mai..
Kisi garib ko padha pau,
16 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
Kisi mansahari ko shakahari bana pau,
Kisi ke udas chehre pe muskan lau.
Sach kehta hu kabhi karke to dekhiye
aisa, aisa karne par jo khushi milti hai
na,
vo koi lottery lagne par bhi nahi milti.
Kayi bar jab mai logo se aisa kuch
kehta hu to log mujhe kehte hai ki tum
thode alag hi type ke insan ho.
Tab mai bhi ek famous dialogue marta
hu-
17 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
“To kya hua jo mai alag type ka hu,
Gam to mujhe is bat ka hai ki tum sab
ek jaise hi ho”
Itna padhne likhne ke bad bhi sigrate
aur sharab pite ho, iska matlab sidhe
tarike se shiksha ko ek gali dete ho.
Mai kehta hu ki agar aapse ye sigrate
chhodi nahi jati to….
…mera ek kam aur karo, shadi karke
apne jeevan sathi ki jindagi nark mai
mat badalna,
18 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
aur vo bhi nahi hota to ye paryay bhi
apna sakte ho-
“Jaise hi aapka bacha school jane lag
jaye to usi din se use sigrate aur
sharab pilana, khub pilana. Akele
kyon pite ho baap-bete milke pio.
Dubana hi hai to pure parivar ko ek
sath dubao, dhire dhire kyon dubate
ho.”
Logo ko kaho to log sidha muh pe
jawab dete hai “mai sigrate pee raha
hu, marunga to mai marunga tera kya
jata hai?”
19 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
Are bhaiya “Ha, ye to mai janta hu ke
marna aapko hi hai,
Ulta mujhe to khushi hogi jab aise log
marenge
…par kya aap ye jante hai ke aapke
aisa karne se aas pas wale, ya fir aap
ke bacche ko bhi aisi adat lag jati hai.
Yad rakhna sangat ka asar padte der
nahi lagti.. aapke aisi harkato ki vajah
se pradushan failta hai.
20 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
Khudke ghar me to jhadu lagana hota
nahi apan se, aur puri duniya me
gandagi failate rehte hai
Are maine khudne dekha hai- jo safai
ki batein karte hai gandagi ki nadi
vahi se hi behti hai.
Aur jo log student hai par in sab chijo
se dur rehte hai to unke liye mera yahi
kehna ki dosto aapko to khush hona
chahiye ki log sigtrate pite hai, sharab
pite hai. Kam se kam desh ki abadi
kuch to kum hogi.
Aur vaise bhi ek din mujhe kisine
kaha tha
21 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
“Mere paas rehne ke liye yaha jagah
nahi hai, par aap chahe to meri madad
kar sakte ho…bas karna ye hai ki
aapko jamke sigrate aur sharab pina
hai…isse hoga ye ki aap jaldi bhagwan
ko pyare ho jaoge aur yaha pe aapki
jagah khali ho jayegi to … mai shanti
se jee aur reh sakunga”
Apni na sahi apni image ki to parvah
kijiye.
Apne hi atit mai jara jhak kar dekho,
aur pucho khud se ki kaun hai is
duniya mai jo mujhe accha insan
manta hai.
22 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
Are office mai aap bhi boss ke samne
Yes sir, Yes sir karte ho aur cabin se
bahar nikalte hi unke bare mai bate
banate ho….
Aisa kyon?????
Kuch to galat hoga hi us boss mai jab
aap usko galat mante ho,
Aisa hai ya nahi, boss galat
hai ya nahi ye sochne mai waqt
barbad karne se koi fayda nahi.
Kabhi jarurat pade to boss apko der
rat tak kam karne ke liye bhi keh sakta
hai. Aur jarurat na ho to chutti bhi de
sakta hai. Jara apne atit mai jhak kar
dekho ki kya kabhi aisa hua hai???
23 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
Boss ko galat bolne se vo badal nahi
sakte, isse acchha ye hai ki situation ko
adjust karna sikho, thoda sacrifice
karna sikho.
Tin sabse badi chije pata hai apko
a) Adjustment
b) Sacrifice and
c) Forgiveness
Duniya ko badalne mai waqt barbad
mat karo, khud ko badloge to apne
aap duniya badal jayegi.
Soch aapki hai, mai janta hu mere
kehne se ya na kehne se kuch nahi
24 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
honewala. Jab tak koi bat aap apne dil
se, man se nahi karte tab tak koi fayda
nahi.
Seedhe bol kisi ko samajh aate nahi,
kadva bolo to logo ko english mai
HURT hota hai.
25 | M a y a n k K o t h a r i
Jindagi aapki hai, Jeena aapko hai.
Mai to aaj hu kal mar jaunga….
Par bharosa dilata hu, jane se pehle
apno aur parayo dono ko hasake
jaunga………
Aur nahi hasa paya to agle janm fir
lautke na aaunga
“Jai Jinendra”