21 Ways To

Frustration-Proof Your Life

By Richard Onebamoi

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The Frustration-Proof Report – 21 Ways to Frustration-proof your Life Copyright©2008 by Richard ONEBAMOI Personal development, Self Improvement, Success Empowerment, Motivational, Self Help Richard Onebamoi P.O. Box 3 Bruxelles 20 1200 Bruxelles, Belgium www.successfacilitator.com www.self-improve-blog.com www.anatomyoffrustration.com

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INTRODUCTIONINTRODUCTIONINTRODUCTIONINTRODUCTION

Frustration Defined: Frustration: It’s a feeling of

dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression,

resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.

Dictionary.com

It is an emotional response to circumstances where one is

obstructed from arriving at a personal goal. It is said that there's

more than one way to skin a cat. The same goes when you start

tearing your hair out with all the frustration, grief, anxiety, and

stress. It's a state of mental conditioning that is like taking that

bitter pill down your throat, causing you to lose your sense of self,

and worse your sanity. Just the thought of it can drive anyone off

the edge.

Frustration is an observable fact that you have to deal with

on a daily basis. The burdens of work, family, unforeseen crisis and

unmet expectations combined to produce tangled loops of

frustrating events in your life. When you are frustrated your mind

cannot work efficiently because instead of focusing on possibilities

your mind focuses on impossibilities and your thoughts are not

coherent at this stage. While there are certain things you can do to

make your life run more smoothly, we must also understand that

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

6

as human you have limitations just like anybody that will

incapacitate you in causing things to run smoothly as you would

desire, these makes frustrating situations inevitable as you progress

and navigate through the corridors of life.

Our initial reaction to frustration is to yield to it and its

negative consequences without taking action in the direction of our

anticipated outcome. We also resist or ignore it altogether, putting

up a protective defence and confront it as an enemy with which we

feel we must do battle. The yielding, resisting, partially or

completely ignoring this emotion and others like it is negative and

can produce only negative results, we will find ourselves

producing more frustration, anxiety, stress and fear than

opportunities and productivity.

As one stressed-out person to another, I know how it feels,

and believe me there are many disparity when it comes to

frustration. Coping with life, and carrying the problems that may

or may not belong to you can scratch away the little joy and

happiness that you can carry once you head out that door. You

can't blame them for being like that; they have their own reasons,

so much like we have our reasons to allow frustration to weigh us

down. They say that frustration is all in the mind, well, what's

bugging you anyway?

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

7

There are several ways to transform frustration into creative

opportunities and unlock the power to succeed. This report will

give you access to 21 ways that you can make use of today to

frustration-proof your life against any personal and professional

hazards as well as to succeed in all your pursuits making the

difference between frustration and fulfilment.

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

8

“People who fail to achieve their goals usually get stopped by frustration. They allow frustration to keep them from taking the necessary actions that would support them in achieving their desire. You get through this roadblock by ploughing through frustration, taking each setback as feedback you can learn from, and pushing ahead. I doubt you'll find many successful people who have not experienced this. All successful people learn that success is buried on the other side of frustration.”

Anthony Robbins

9

21 W21 W21 W21 WAYS TOAYS TOAYS TOAYS TO

FFFFRUSTRATIONRUSTRATIONRUSTRATIONRUSTRATION----PROOF YOURPROOF YOURPROOF YOURPROOF YOUR LLLLIFEIFEIFEIFE

With the uncertainty in our world, economic crisis, job losses, with

the voices of gloom and doom raging within and without. The rate

at which most people are getting frustrated is on the increase daily.

Consequently, it is imperative that we learn to how to frustration-

proof our lives as we progress toward our desired intent. Here are

21 ways on how to frustration-proof your life, take the time to read

through this report and then apply each one daily for the next 21

days and consistently revisit this report when you have any

personal or professional frustration.

1. Asking Focused Questions: In everyday life we are

susceptible to frustrations. Attempt to identify specifically what it

is that I am frustrated about is critical to dealing with frustration.

This is often associated with problems or unmet expectations. In

other to translate this frustration into productive opportunities and

unlock the power to succeed, series of focused and empowering

question should be asked. It is interesting to note that questions

could be empowering or disempowering consequently it is

imperative that you put forward the right kind of questions

because you will become more focused, clear, creative, purposeful,

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

10

aware and balanced. Questions can be used as tools to gather

information and acquire knowledge about yourself, others, events,

situations and places. Answers to such question are used to bring

clarity and better understanding of the situation.

2. Acknowledge Frustrations: Most people tend to live in

denial, often frustrated and angry because of unmet expectations

play down this emotional disposition of frustration and act as if all

is well. In other to frustration proof your life you’ve got to

acknowledge it, admit the fact that you are frustrated but do not

remain at that position. Acknowledging frustration will empower

you to start finding ways to transform your frustration. Based on

man’s natural propensity to fight or flight response, helps create an

impetus that will enhance your performance at the right moment.

Use frustration wisely to push yourself forward toward your

anticipated desire.

3. Identify Root Cause(s) of Frustration: The law of cause

and effect states that: “Everything happens for a reason.” For every

effect in your life, there is a cause. Crises do not just erupt without

causes. The perspective changes when you consider frustration as

an effect with a cause or series of causes. Therefore in transforming

frustration into creative opportunities it is appropriate to identify

its root cause(s). For example there are many reasons why on a

given day a car may not start in the morning on your way to an

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

11

important appointment. Your expectation is the normal situation

which is the car should start while the effect is the car refuses to

start, now the cause or root of the problem could be faulty ignition,

flat Battery, No fuel, Electrical Problems or even the weather.

Identifying these causes can solve your problem, which then

eliminate your frustration.

4. Change Your Attitude: Attitude is everything. Attitudes,

whether positive or negative, have the power to impact profoundly

the success of an individual or an organization. Attitudes are

contagious, attitudes impact the bottom line, and it affects your

every thought and the results that your thoughts bring. Positive

mental attitude is indispensable and appropriate in today’s

competitive and changing marketplace as well as your personal

endeavours that it has become imperative to develop and maintain

a positive mental attitude regardless of the circumstances that

militate against you in life. Once you realize that your attitude is

not supporting you in your overall scheme of things, you need to

be able to change it so as to frustration-proof your life.

5. Always Seek To Understand: If it is a person or group of

people that are responsible for your frustration either at home,

workplace or marketplace always seek to understand before you

are understood by you having to ask a simple question to make

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

12

sure these individuals understands what has been discoursed and

get their feedback so that there will be no surprises.

One better way to deal with this is to seek to understand before you

seek to be understood. One other way to deal with frustration is to

understand that this emotional disposition is common to everyone

and not you alone or certain groups of people. What sets you apart

from others is the way you respond to the emotions when they

occur. Take a profound look at what is making you frustrated to

find if there are ways that you are contributing to it and take action

to remedy the problem.

6. Self-examination: Frequent Self-evaluation is of inestimable

value. As we interact daily we tend to imbibe ideas, habits and

thought patterns that are not in harmony with our core values and

expectations. Frustration often occurs when the ideas and thought

patterns that we give admission to are not in harmony with those

that we have held for a long time. For instance, Mr. Robert Xerox

amazed at why his belief system kept producing these negative

outcomes and how he has become desperate, frustrated and cynical

when his expectations are not met.

This situation was now at the point where personal and

professional life is endangered by it. He then decided to go on self-

examination to evaluate himself so as to find out what the problem

was. Hence, self-examination can help to detoxify from all the

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

13

impurity that can affect our beliefs negatively and realign our

priorities. When you are overwhelmed with frustration take the

route of self-examination and you will be able to identify the root of

the frustration and transform into creative opportunity and unlock

the power to succeed.

7. Change Your Mental Focus: Mental focus is the general

term used to describe a person’s thought processes. If you must

transform frustrations into creative opportunities and unlock the

power to succeed you have to change your mental focus. For

instance, when frustrating events occurs there is always this

tendency to begin to form images and focus on the negatives

outcome that in turn reinforces the frustration. By taking control of

your mental focus and focusing on the desired expectation and on

success you can master frustration and transform it into creative

opportunity.

8. Focus on the Lesson Learnt: With every undertaken there

are always lessons to learn weather it was a positive or negative

outcome. Life is actually a compilation of lessons learned from

every spectrum of life. It is imperative that you focus on the lessons

learnt rather than focusing on the negative outcome. This will give

you a proper perspective on how to take further action for the

realization of your goals and expectations. You want to pay close

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

14

attention to the lessons that your experiences affords as it will serve

your purpose in future endeavours.

9. Define The Object Of Frustration As A Goal: Take a

minute or two to actually define the problem. Once you have

identified the object of frustration, that is, what is responsible for

your frustration, you should now define and view that challenge as

a goal to be achieved. For instance, it could be your lack of skills in

that particular Endeavour that results to ineffectiveness and

inefficiency of the tasks or assignments. You could now set

acquiring or upgrading your skills and ability as a goal so that you

are effective and efficient in achieving yours tasks and objectives. It

is often more effective to ensure you understand the problem, its

symptoms and causes before proceeding.

10. Reinforce Your Belief: When faced with frustrating

situations having a supportive belief system will help you

frustration-proof your life and achieve extraordinary success that

you deserve. To reinforce your beliefs to overcome frustration you

must turn disempowering beliefs into empowering beliefs by

focusing on beliefs that serve your purpose and also ask

empowering questions such as what do I need to believe about

myself or circumstance that will reinforce the beliefs that are

congruent with the core beliefs that are serving my ultimate

outcome.

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

15

11. Know Exactly What You Want: Knowing what you want

helps you to determine your priorities. A lot of folks are frustrated

most of the times because they do not actually know what they

want. The dilemma is that we assume that these individuals know

what they want out of life. In challenging times with unmet

expectation to frustration-proof your life you have to know exactly

what you want, what your priorities are and go all out to achieve

them.

12. Avoid Stress: Stress in excessive amount is a negative

emotional disposition that weakens you and it is related and can

lead to frustration. You have to pay close attention those stressors

both internal and external. Most of the things that you are stressed

about will not necessarily turn out the way that you fear it might.

Understanding this, you will be empowered to overcome stress and

transform frustration into creative opportunities and the power to

succeed. Frustration-proof yourself by recognizing stress in others

and limiting your contact with them. Or if you've got the

inclination, you can become a resource and teach them how to

better manage themselves.

13. Learn from The Best: When people around you are losing

their mind, who keeps calm? What are they doing differently?

What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they

trained and experienced? The truth of the matter is these

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

16

individuals are not exempted from frustration but that they are

determined and have learnt how to frustration-proof their lives.

Consequently, learning what these individuals do differently, the

attitude they possess and their self-talk is invaluable if you must

frustration-proof your life. Figure it out from afar or sit them down

for a chat with these individuals. Learn from the best stress

managers and copy what they do.

14 Take Time to Exhale and Inhale: You can lead your body

into relaxing by using the technique of heavy breathing. Whenever

you are frustrated just simply inhale slowly for a count of 7 then

exhale for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart

rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel

more normal. Taking the time to breathe in and out helps to release

tension and frustration assisting you in refocusing on your

priorities and what it will require to achieve your desired outcome.

When you are frustrated just breathe in and out.

15. Give Frustration Thoughts the Red Light: Whenever

frustrating thoughts arises in your mind take action immediately to

negate those thoughts with positive ones. It is possible to entangle

yourself up in a frustration knot all by yourself and beside most of

these things never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying

needlessly? Give frustrating thought-trains the red light and stop

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

17

them in their tracks as you frustration-proof your life from its

negative consequences.

16. Know Your Trigger Points & Hot Spots: The following

are some frustration triggers; presentations, interviews, meetings,

giving difficult feedback and tight deadlines et cetera. My heart

rate is cranking up just writing these down! Make your own list of

frustration trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only

presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does

one project become more frustrating than another? Knowing what

causes you frustration is powerful information, as you can take

action to make it less frustrating by asking questions like, do you

need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? These

questions will help you to frustration-proof your life and unlock

the power to succeed.

17. Burn The Candle At One End: Lack of sleep, poor diet

and no exercise wreaks havoc on our body and mind. Kind of

obvious, but worth mentioning as it's often ignored as a stress

management technique. Listen to your mother and don't burn the

candle at both ends! So having stress can be a total drag, but that

should not hinder us to find the inner peace of mind that we have

wanted for a long time. In any case, one could always go to the

Bahamas and bask under the summer sun.

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

18

18. Focus On What Matters and What Works For You:

You don’t need to learn how to do everything in life. Most people

want to know so much about everything and this result to

disappointments and frustration to say the least. In other to

frustration-proof your life and produce creative opportunities you

have to endeavour to know much and focus on what matters and

what works for you rather than wanting to be a jack of all trade. In

other to frustration-proof your life you've got to focus on what

matters and ignore the rest.

19. Change Your Physiology: Your physiology is your

physical being: the way you stand, sit, move, breath etc. Once you

meet someone you can you usually tell how he feels even before

you are told. This is so because you unconsciously notice his

physiology. With that said, it is imperative to understand that

every emotional state exhibit a certain physiological state. For

instance, someone frustrated will exhibit a physiological state

different from someone that is motivated and enthused. Hence, to

frustration-proof your life you have to change your physiology in

the direction of your desired outcome, controlling your posture, the

way you move and your expression as against the physiology that

results from the frustration.

20. Be Thankful In All Things: The Bible states, “Be anxious

for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

19

thanksgiving, let your requests be made know unto God.” That’s it

right there, be anxious for nothing as this will obliterate your

attitude of gratitude and create an atmosphere that breeds

frustrations instead of thankfulness.

George Herbert stated, “Thou hast given so much to me give me

one thing more, a grateful heart.” You can begin your day with this

frame of mind. If you can focus on those things that are good and

that can be good, you will only bring more positive things into your

life. Attitude of Gratitude is one of the life lines of any

extraordinary achiever and will cause frustration to dissipate into

the ether and unlock your power to succeed.

21. Take Action: As I counsel and coach across the nations of the

earth just one vice constantly emanates and that is inaction. I fin

that there are a lot of people that are knowledgeable in many

aspects of life but are masters of none. The dilemma is that these

individuals never take action in applying the knowledge and

expertise that they have acquired in solving the issues of life that

affects them. When you are frustrated having a strong bias towards

taking action to remedy the situation with the knowledge you have

is invaluable. If you do not have the knowledge and expertise, take

action to acquire it from the arsenal of information that abounds in

the universe. Take action to solicit for help and you will be amazed

number of those that will be willing to help you in ways that will

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

20

astound you. Just take action, do something positive and the claws

of frustration will be broken.

To your success

-8-your.name$Richard.Onebamoi-8-

“Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do”

Pope John XXIII

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

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The Anatomy of Frustration By Richard ONEBAMOI

Anatomy of frustration – Discover how

to transform frustrations into creative

opportunities and unlock the power to

succeed, by Richard Onebamoi this

book is filled with simple but yet

powerful strategies that will

empower you to transform

frustration into creative

opportunities. It is also designed to

be your companion as you deal with

frustrating events, people or circumstances on a daily basis.

This is an engaging book that makes very valid points that

everyone can benefit from. Richard provides concrete techniques

and profound concepts to help you move through your frustrations

and unlock the power to succeed. In it you will learn:

• What is Frustration?

• The Roots of Frustration

• Disadvantages of Frustration

• How to overcome fear factor

• Changing Your Expectations

• Changing Your Belief System

• Changing Your Attitude

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

24

• Much more

This amazing book will equip and prepare you to transform

either personal or professional frustration into creative

opportunities, possibilities, and productivity and ultimately unlock

the power to succeed.

Click Here For More Details …

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ABOUT THE AUTHORABOUT THE AUTHORABOUT THE AUTHORABOUT THE AUTHOR

Richard Onebamoi is a pastor, multi-gifted motivational

speaker, and author as well as success facilitator. He is the founder,

president and senior pastor of Living Stone World Worship Centre

International, headquartered in Brussels, Belgium.

He is also the Founder and Chief Executive Facilitator of

Success Empowerment Training & Seminars™ S.E.T.S, with a

mandate to inspire your performance, expand your imagination,

cultivate your dreams, and help you discover, develop, deploy and

maximize your God-given potential(s). He is able to provide

leadership, educational and personal development training that

will instruct, motivate, empower and maximize your potential(s).

He is a vibrant and highly sought after conference speaker.

Richard has a profound and unique insight into God’s word.

As he ministers around the globe, God continually marks his

ministry with the demonstration of the Holy Spirit and power,

transforming lives by the Word of His power. He is married to

Catherine who co-pastors with him, and Associate Executive

Facilitator of Success Empowerment Training & Seminars™ S.E.T.S.

They are blessed with four children and they reside in Brussels,

Belgium in the heart of European Union.

You can contact him at: Email: facilitator@anatomyoffrustration.com

21 Ways To Frustration-proof Your Life

26

APPRECIATION

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Proof Report – 21 Ways to Frustration-proof your life, hopefully it

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