VOLUME 16 NUMBER 2 JUNE, 2005

by Jim Gordon,President of ILM

NEWSLETTER MM INISTRIESII NNER LL IGHTII NNER LL IGHT MM INISTRIES NEWSLETTER

EEPING IT SIMPLEK

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ILM website. The challenge in this has been howwebsites are put together and how complex the systemsof creating websites are. I have learned a great dealabout keeping the complex simple as we havedeveloped the site. I have also learned that even whenyou do simplify things in the world they can still appearcomplex. So in putting this website together I havefound a new challenge for me: to focus on simplicity,and at the same time, to allow the complex to enterinto the process.

Our goals in putting the site together were to create aplace where people can come and learn about ILM, aswell as to serve those who are taking part in ourspiritual action. In doing this we have created threedifferent sections of the ILM site. The first section isfor someone to take a look at who we are and whatwe are about at ILM. This first section gives a personan introduction and some basic information. Onecan read about the teachings of ILM, read samplenewsletter articles, and purchase tapes, CD’s, andbooks to discover more about us.

There is also a member section, which is for those whowant to experience more of what is happening in ILM.After a person registers for this part of the site, he orshe has access to information about ILM initiation, aswell as information about upcoming ILM events,programs, and retreats. There is also a completearchive of all the newsletters we have publishedsince 1991. In addition we have an audio section,where we will be putting up the most current talksthat Brian and I have done at the weekly Tuesdaynight class in Austin, as well as an archive of pasttalks. In this way you can ‘attend’ our Tuesday nighttalks even if you don’t live in Austin, and therebyhave a more direct experience with the entire ILMcommunity.

We also have a section for ILM initiates. This areagives information to initiates that relates to the innerpath of initiation and meditation. This section willsupport ILM’s initiates and allow a greater ease ofcommunication with Brian and myself.

hen I was 8 years old, in my prayer timeone day I heard a voice speak to me fromthe stillness inside. That still small voiceof loving said to me, “Jim, keep things

simple in your life, in your prayer time, in all that youdo. God is simple and the way to knowing God issimple. Do not complicate your inner or outer life;rather, keep it all simple.” That has been my goal inall that I do. To keep it simple.

This is a great ideal to live into, and yet I continuallyfind that the world does not ‘do simple’ so much as it‘does complex’. I find that the world of the mind, theemotions and the physical are ever moving andchanging. And in this change there seems or appearsto be complex actions and reactions moving in us andall around us.

I guess I am very aware of this process of keeping itsimple at this time because we have been busy in ILMover the last several months putting together awebsite. In doing so, one thing that I have becomeaware of is how simple I want things to be, and howcomplicated the world makes them. I have beenenjoying the process of creating this website alongwith the others in ILM, and I have learned a greatdeal about myself in its development.

I remember when we first began to put together booksfor ILM. The challenge then was to be as clear in ourcommunication as possible and to be simple in oursharing and explanations as well. Taking hundreds ofpages of written material and distilling it down to ahundred pages of simple sharing took time, patienceand focus. I feel that we did accomplish the action ofsimplicity in our books. I also see us keeping thingssimple in our newsletter articles. We share from ourexperience and in doing so we keep it simple.

So this has been my goal as we have been creating an

W

the meditation room (not Ahndre’s fault of course, infact he didn’t even know I was in there)!

So what am I learning from all of this? First, that Ineed to take the advice of Jesus (not to mention Jimand Brian!) and “come away by yourself with me to aquiet place,” even when, or perhaps especially when,there is still more to be done. We can get caught up inour attachments to the world, not only in terms of ournegative karmas and desires, but just as easily withour positive ones. Second, that a good outer life in theworld does not replace the inner connection andawareness that take place in meditation.

I am blessed with a loving wife, six children andgrandchildren, good friends, a wonderful ministry, thegift of music, and a great dog. And I am devoted to allof it. But there is more. I hunger for that quiet time ofinner devotion when I can share my love with God inprivate. Oh, my mind is quick to use busyness as anexcuse for not having enough time to meditate: “Youdon’t have two and a half hours today, so don’t do any— you can do the full two and a half hours tomorrow.”But my soul cries out for it. Not because I should bemeditating. Not even because Jim and Brian teachhow important it is. Not because of anything externalanymore. But because something inside me is longing— longing to swim in that river of loving I haveexperienced during meditation. I find such joy,comfort, and strength arising within me when I amconsistent with my meditation practice. And I findsuch anxiety and frustration arising when I don’t. Mywhole life seems lighter and clearer when I am diligentwith my meditation; Grace flows so much more fully,and I am so much more at ease with myself. WhenI’m meditating regularly, a flurry of activity is excitingand fun. When I’m not meditating regularly, that sameflurry is stressful and overwhelming.

I now know that there are ‘things’ I just cannot findin the world, no matter how good life gets. But Iknow a place inside where all the weariness goesaway, where my worst fears cannot penetrate, where

by Steven McAfee,ILM Minister

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here is a story in the gospels of Jesus tellinghis disciples about all the service they weredoing — how busy they had been teaching

and healing. They were so busy that, “theydid not even have a chance to eat.” Jesus responded,“Come away with me by yourselves to a quiet place”(Mark 6:31). This is a rather common occurrence inthe gospels. There are times when Jesus is in the midstof a flurry of activity, and suddenly he leaves to go offby himself to a “solitary place to pray,” often amidstprotests from the crowd or even the apostles. Theyaren’t finished yet — they want more: more food,more teaching, more attention. Jesus leaves anyway.

As I write this article, I am feeling a little like theapostles. Busy! Just in March, Jim Gordon and BrianYeakey spent two wonderfully full weeks here in Ft.Wayne, Indiana, doing initiations, interviews, andworkshops. Besides that: I spoke at a local church, wehad a community music night, my yearlong “KindredSpirits” group had a workshop, I assisted my dad ingoing through eye surgery, my wife and my daughterboth celebrated birthdays, and our one-year-oldgrandson Jayden is living with us now (along with hisparents Lisa and Ahndre). Upcoming events as I writethis are: a large formal Passover dinner, Tuesdayclasses starting again the week after, and my son isgraduating from college shortly. Whew! So here’sthe point: I have been so caught up in my busynessthat it has been difficult for me to find time for myspiritual practices. Quiet time in my life is gettingharder to find. For example, I used to do my meditationin the early morning. Now, baby Jadyen is a morningperson. He loves to get up early, but he does not liketo get up at the same time. So if I decide to meditate at7:00 am, he wakes up at 6:30. If I try starting at 6:00,he may be up at 5:45 or maybe 6:15. You see theproblem: there is never a consistent time of the morningfor my meditation. So, I decided to meditate at nightat 9:30 pm (it’s usually quiet by then). However, thefirst night I tried that, Ahndre got home from workabout 9:45 pm and fixed himself some dinner in thekitchen, which is located right next to, you guessed it,

OME AWAY WITH MEC

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(COME AWAY continues on page 3)

sorrow, regret, and shame simply do not exist. InSpirit there is absolute and complete acceptance andease. It is truly awesome. And, I remind myself againand again, it is my devotion to God in my inner lifethat has brought forth all the blessings of love in myouter life.

I hope that you find the website a simple and wonderfulexperience and a service to you and the ILMcommunity. And by the way, we will not have thewebsite on any search engines. We are not advertisingourselves through this website; rather we are simplycreating the site to serve those who are interested inlearning about us and who are involved with ILM.The website is: http://www.ilm.org.

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CALENDAR

(ILM Calendar continues on pages 4 - 9)

Simple (continued from page 1)

by Jim Gordon

WWWWW EEKLY CLASSES: Jim’s weekly Austin class is held Tuesdays 7-9 pm,

ILM Center, Franklin Sq. Bldg, 3724 Jefferson, Ste. 100, Austin, Texas No Charge

Each class includes spiritual teaching, practical exercises, group discussion, and meditation.Jim and Brian help participants to become more deeply aware of the Spirit within.

PRESENTED BY JIM GORDON and BRIAN YEAKEY:For additional information, call 512-306-1056.

II NNER LL IGHT MM INISTRIES

Come Away (continued from page 2)

by Steven McAfee

Come and check out http://www.ILM.org today!

CLASSES & PROGRAMS: JUNE – SEPTEMBER, 2005

INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES is pleased to announce:

ILM.org is being offered to share the basics on ILM, an organization dedicated to teaching "ThePath of Sound and Light," and to enable everyone interested to purchase ILM books and tapesonline. Those who also choose to register on the website as an ILM Member (with no financialobligation) also gain access to:

* Online registration for ILM workshops and retreats* Audio versions of ILM's weekly Tuesday Night Classes in Austin, Texas* All past and present ILM Newsletters* Information on ILM Initiation into The Path of Sound and Light

There is also a special section for ILM Initiates Only.

ILM.orgILM.orgILM.orgILM.orgILM.org — the INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES Website

INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES is pleased to announce:

ILM.orgILM.orgILM.orgILM.orgILM.org — the INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES Website

ILM.org is being offered to share the basics on ILM, an organization dedicated to teaching "ThePath of Sound and Light," and to enable everyone interested to purchase ILM books, tapes and CDsonline. Those who also choose to register on the website as an ILM Member (with no financialobligation) also gain access to:

* Online registration for ILM workshops and retreats* Audio versions of ILM's weekly Tuesday Night Classes in Austin, Texas* All past and present ILM Newsletters* Information on ILM Initiation into The Path of Sound and Light

There is also a special section for ILM Initiates Only.

Come and check out http://www.ILM.org today!

“The Path of Sound and Light is a path of action.It’s a path of inner action: of going inside and beingactive inside, of chanting the name of God inside ...over, and over, and over. Bringing your attention tothat Seat of the Soul, the third eye, and drawing up

the Soul quality of who you are out of matter and col-lecting it fully back unto itself. And then in that Self,waking up and knowing the Self that you are as Soul.And then, in that awakeful state, going out the tenthdoor, the third eye, and traveling the realms of Spirit.”

The Three Fold Path (Talk and Meditation) – New CD and Tapeby Jim Gordon

“The Path of Sound and Light is a path of action.It’s a path of inner action: of going inside and beingactive inside, of chanting the name of God inside ...over, and over, and over. Bringing your attention tothat Seat of the Soul, the third eye, and drawing up

(see back page for more information)

the Soul quality of who you are out of matter and col-lecting it fully back unto itself. And then in that Self,waking up and knowing the Self that you are as Soul.And then, in that awakeful state, going out the tenthdoor, the third eye, and traveling the realms of Spirit.”

(see back page for more information)

The Three Fold Path (Talk and Meditation) – New CD and Tapeby Jim Gordon

facilitated by

Jim Gordon and Brian Yeakey

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Experiencing The Divine –A Meditative Retreat

Experiencing The Divine –A Meditative Retreat

The following are recent pictures and quotes from participants of the March 2005 Austin retreat.

The thing that has and will continue toimpact me the most is the awareness

that I CAN sit in meditation for 2 1/2 hours! – MVL

This retreat location and facilitatorformat has made this the best of this typeof experience I’ve ever had. The high quality of the facilities, coupledwith the simplicity of the presentations and layout of the interactionswas a flawless combination. Very profound. – RB

The loveenabled me toreach into theheart of mysoul andbetter understand the upward journey.Thanks so much for the simplicity, elegance,sophistication, bottomless depth of love &devotion to God. I’m leaving with enrichedperspective. – DK

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Next Retreat Date in Austin, Texas:

Thursday, March 23 thru Sunday, March 26, 2006

Next Retreat Date in Kalamazoo, Michigan:

Thursday, April 6 thru Sunday, April 9, 2006

Be sure to mark your calendars. More information will follow.

This retreat was the best I have been to in 25 years of attending retreats,since it was singularly focused on allowing each of us to receive greater experiences inwardly. – WES

The simplicity and the elegance was absolutely profound. Ifeel supported but not dependent, and clear about so manythings that were cloudy when I came. Thank you !! – KD

Experiencing The Divine – A Meditative Retreat cont’dExperiencing The Divine – A Meditative Retreat cont’d

This has been the most freeing experience, simple and pure,without all the drama & trauma;

it was nice to experience such loving. – RG

(Walking the Labyrinth)

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ILM presents:

WHERE: Ohana East Hotel, Waikiki, HawaiiMeeting Room off of lobby located on the 2nd floorMeeting Room off of lobby located on the 2nd floorMeeting Room off of lobby located on the 2nd floorMeeting Room off of lobby located on the 2nd floorMeeting Room off of lobby located on the 2nd floor

For Ohana Hotel reservations: Call Barbara Campbell at 808-921-6679barbara.campbell@outrigger.com

Park in the Ohana East garage located at 2375 Kuhio AvenuePark in the Ohana East garage located at 2375 Kuhio AvenuePark in the Ohana East garage located at 2375 Kuhio AvenuePark in the Ohana East garage located at 2375 Kuhio AvenuePark in the Ohana East garage located at 2375 Kuhio Avenue

(all day parking with validation is $3.00)(all day parking with validation is $3.00)(all day parking with validation is $3.00)(all day parking with validation is $3.00)(all day parking with validation is $3.00)

DONATION

To schedule spiritual interview appointments with Jim or Brianplease call 512-306-1056 and speak with Laura Doggett.

Jim and Brian will be availablefor spiritual interviews and for initiation

for those who have been approved.

˜

For further information please contact: Nadine Ferraro at 808-988-7509.

TTTTTIMESIMESIMESIMESIMES OFOFOFOFOF E E E E EVENTSVENTSVENTSVENTSVENTS

MMMMMEDITATIONEDITATIONEDITATIONEDITATIONEDITATION::::: 9:30 am-12 noonLunch break

Seminar: 1:30-5:30 pm

Sunday, July 31, 2005:

MEDITATION & SEMINARwith JIM and BRIAN

MEDITATION & SEMINARwith JIM and BRIAN

July 23 - August 5

INITIATION and

SPIRITUAL INTERVIEWS

INITIATION and

SPIRITUAL INTERVIEWS

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II NNER LL IGHT MM INISTRIES CALENDAR

(ILM Calendar continues on next page)

C

•

PRESENTED BY LAURA KESTEN:For additional information, call Laura at 512-894-0992.

MICHIGAN:SEVEN DAY RETREAT: JUNE 18-25 – Martha’s Cottage, Saugatuck (participants must have attended at least

three previous Stories Untold weekends in the past year, unless there’s availability) $350

WEEKEND WORKSHOPS: JULY 29-31 – Kellogg, Gull Lake, SEPT 30-OCT 2 – The Orchard, Lawrence, DEC 9-11 – Pretty Lake, Mattawan $125 per weekend

TORIES UNTOLD: Writing is a dynamic tool on the journey to self-healing and self-fullfilment.Writing can be a way to find our hearts, our truths, and our voices. In Stories Untold, we invite the heart toopenly and freely feel and express itself, which can ultimately lead us to greater levels of acceptance andforgiveness. Sharing our stories (optional) with a loving, safe and supportive group can deepen our experience.This is an awesome experience! Try it for one weekend and see for yourself. No experience necessary!

TEXAS:JULY 9-10, SEPT 24-25, OCT 29-30,

Sat: 9 am – 7 pm, Sun: 10 am – 4 pm ILM Center, Austin, Texas Donation

IRCLE OF WOMEN – HEALTH AND HEALING IN THE BODY:

365 DAYS OF IVING CONSCIOUSLY:L What if you had one year to live? How would youwant to live it? Might you want your yearlong journey to be about living each day mindfully, living itauthentically, with integrity, and might you have it include forgiveness, acceptance, and loving? What if youcould live each day this year consciously and deliberately? Throughout 2005, our LIVING CONSCIOUSLY groupwill meet one Sunday each month. Join us NOW!

JUNE 12, JULY 17, AUG 21, SEPT 18, OCT 23Sundays 2-4 pm ILM Center, Austin, Texas Donation

EACEMAKER REUNION:P This is a reunion for all those who have taken the PeaceMakerWorkshop since 1996. We have a heartfelt afternoon planned followed by a dinner. Please join us forthis momentous occasion.

JULY 23 Sat: 1–6 pm Kellogg Biological Station, Richland, Mich. Donation

C OUPLES GATHERING & DINNER: You and your partner, significant other, better half,etc., are cordially invited to share in an evening of dining with other couples. Regardless if your relationshipis brand-new or long-lived, a partnership or marriage — we’ll celebrate our loving and gratitude with thesepersons with whom we live and share our lives.

JULY 3 5 pm Tom and Laura’s Home, Dripping Springs, Texas No Charge

What are the essential elementsof healing from an illness? Focusing on a holistic approach, we’ll first do a live blood cell analysis for eachparticipant (just a prick on the finger), in order to gain information about what is going on in the body. Then,we’ll map a plan to optimum health for ourselves. Expert in her field of Heath and Healing, we welcome JoySabultara as she leads this evening’s group.

JUNE 10 Fri: 7–9 pm ILM Center, Austin, Texas No Charge

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PRESENTED BY STEVEN MCAFEE, MIDWEST COORDINATOR:For additional information, call Steven at 260-485-2167.

II NNER LL IGHT MM INISTRIES CALENDAR

TUESDAY CLASS SERIES:

CILM OMMUNITY NIGHT:

“ INDRED SPIRITS” YEARLONG STUDY GROUP:K

(Midwest Calendar continues on next page)

IRST CENTURY MYSTICAL PRACTICES WORKSHOP:F

Steven offers a series of weekly ILM classes in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, onTuesday nights from 7-8:30 pm at Unity Christ Church. Each series focuses on a specific spiritual topicand runs from 4-6 weeks in length. Some of our recent topics have included: Jim Gordon’s book, TheKnowing of God, mystical teachings from the Kabbalah, a study of first century Christianity, and the ‘lostbooks’ of the Bible. Please call Steven for up-to-date information on the current series.

More music nights are on the way! We’ll provide soft drinks andmunchies. Please RSVP a week ahead so we can plan appropriately.

JUNE 8, JULY 13, AUG 10, SEPT 14 7-10 pm Steven & Anita’s home, Ft. Wayne No Charge

T HE MERKAVAH MYSTICS:

C ONTEMPLATING THE LOVING WORKSHOP:

SUNDAY SERVICES:

The morning session willintroduce basic teachings from the Kabbalah (Jewish mystical writings) as the framework on which Jewishmystics, including Jesus, built their prayer and meditation practices. In the afternoon session, we will havethe opportunity to actually practice some of their prayers, chants, and meditations together. Lunch provided.

SEPT 10 9:30 am-3 pm Cottage Retreat Center Jackson, Mich. $50

The following events are open onlyto those already enrolled in the year-long KINDRED SPIRITS study program.

RETREATS:JULY 15-17 Fri. 7:30 pm-Sun. 2:30 pm Seasons Conference Center, Augusta, Mich. $150

WORKSHOPS:JUNE 12, AUG 21, SEPT 18 2:30-5:30 pm Brigade of Light, YWCA Ft. Wayne Donation

Steven frequently serves as a guest speaker for various churches and spiritualgroups in the Fort Wayne area. If you would like him to speak to your group, please call to makearrangements. The following are presently scheduled:

JUNE 12, JULY 3, AUG 21, SEPT 18 11 am Brigade of Light, YWCA Ft. Wayne

The morning session will present an overview of the “Merkavah” or“chariot” — ancient teachings about the methods used by prophets such as Ezekiel for consciouslyexperiencing the inner realms. In the afternoon session, we will learn about some of their prayer andcontemplation practices. Lunch provided.

AUG 7 11 am-4 pm Lakeshore Interfaith Institute Ganges, Mich. Donation

We will be sharing a cozy bed and breakfast innat Lake Michigan. The day will include periods of meditation, group sharing, journal writing, readings frommystical poets (like Rumi), and free time to explore the beautiful lakeshore and the quaint town of SouthHaven. Our focus will be on contemplating the loving in our lives and ways to develop a deeper realizationand appreciation of its blessings.

AUG 6 10 am-5 pm South Haven, Mich Location and cost to be announced

II NNER LL IGHT MM INISTRIES CALENDAR

TILM APE SEMINARS:

EVENTS IN THE KALAMAZOO, MICH AREA: Please contact Carolyn Dailey at 269-327-6851or email carolee12@chartermi.net for more information on the activities below.

ILM TUDY GROUP:S

Carolyn Dailey is conducting semi-monthly ILM tape seminars inthe Kalamazoo area. Each seminar includes: Calling in the Light, a short meditation time, and listeningto a tape or CD by ILM Ministers Jim Gordon, Steven McAfee, or Brian Yeakey.

2nd & 4th Thursdays 11am-12:30 pm 2485 Brahms Ave., Portage, Mich. No Charge

Carolyn Dailey is conducting a Love and Loving study group basedon the ILM book by the same title written by Jim Gordon.

Wednesdays 6-8:30 pm Executive Suites and Services, 5955 West Main, Kalamazoo No Charge

aking Up In SpiritWAn ILM Retreat

When: October 21-23, 2005

Time: Friday, 7 pm thru Sunday, 12 noon

Where: Potawatomi InnPokagon State Park, Angola, Indiana

For more information please contact Steven McAfee at 260-485-2167.

ILM REGISTRATION FORM: Please fill out this form, and send a check (payable to ILM)along with this registration form to: Steven McAfee, P.O. Box 5139, Fort Wayne, IN 46895.

(Please print.) WWWWWaking Up In Spirit

NAME(S): EMAIL:

ADDRESS & ZIP CODE:

DAYTIME PHONE: EVENING PHONE:9

(an excerpt from a recent talk given by Jim Gordon)

ON EDITATION:

“Oh!” my mind is now kicked in, and it’s going, “Whatwas that?! Where did that come from? How do I getthat to happen again?” And now my intention is noton God, and the experience ends — which was thesecond disappointment.

So I found that the next thing for me to do was just torelax, and to hold once again to that simplicity, thesimplicity of just being with God. Not to get distractedand get caught back up into the mental or the emotional,but rather to stay simple, to stay neutral, to stay quiet,to not be active or reactive in this place of being withGod, but just to be with God. And I found the easiestway for me to do that was just to sit and say, “Lord, Ilove you. I love you. And I’m opening to receive yourloving, so that as I give so shall I receive. And whateverit is that is blocking me in my receiving or in my giving,I just ask for your assistance that your loving comeand lift up any and all things that are between me andyou, that I may love you and you love me.”

And so in meditation I am just ever focusing on lovingwith God. And when I chant the name of God inside Ihave the intention that every time I say the name ofGod inside it’s me loving God. I’m just loving God,and loving God, and loving God. And when it comesquiet inside, I am now receiving from God. I’mlistening. And as I’m listening, I hear the sound, or Isee the Light of God come in, which is God’s lovebeing shared with me. And I may feel it come in andmove through my consciousness, or I may feel thatLove pull me all the way up and out into itself, so thatI live in the Loving for that moment.

And then all of a sudden my body starts calling meback, or my emotions, or my mind, or I find myselfdistracted once again. And I go, “How did I get overhere? I was in that loving place, and now I’m over herethinking about my checkbook, or about this or that?”

Well, that’s just the nature of the beast. Don’t judge it.And don’t sit there and try to figure it out. And don’tdwell on, “Well, okay, why am I back here? What’sgoing on here?” Just say, “God bless you. And Godloves me.” And put yourself back on God. Bringyourself back to the original intention of being in lovewith God, and letting God be in love with you.

Live in the simplicity of loving.10

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he idea in meditation is to hold yourintention here (indicating the “third eye”),and let your intention simply be, “God, I loveyou. And I’m open to receive your loving.”

One thing that you’ll find, if you don’t have any otherintention in meditation but sharing your love with Godand receiving God’s love, is that you will wake up to aplace of simplicity inside of yourself that will begin toopen, and open, and open, and open, and you will movevery quickly up into those realms of Spirit wheresimplicity and love reside.

It is here at the Seat of the Soul (indicating the thirdeye) where the Soul, that divine spark, does dwell.God created, and out of God came all thingsincluding us — “us” the Soul. And so we are goingto wake up to God here first. So we want to holdour intention here first, and not have anything beforeGod at this level of our being.

Now I can remember when I sat down to beginmeditating years ago. I got very discouraged with mymeditation — for two reasons. One, when I would setan intention and then begin to go inside to find theLord, all I found was darkness. I couldn’t see God. OhI’d thought, I’m going to close my eyes, I’m going toset my intention, and God is going to be right thereand it’s just going to be that simple. But I didn’t findGod that quickly. I found darkness first. And as I satthere, day in and day out, not seeing, not hearing, notexperiencing, I began to find myself gettingdiscouraged and wondering, “What is this all about?If I’m meditating and if I’m really setting an intentionon God, then where are you God, why aren’t youshowing up? Why am I not seeing you, and why am Inot hearing you? Why am I not experiencingsomething? Why am I just in this quiet and nothingelse?” And suddenly I realized that in the quiet and inthe nothingness is where I was going to find God. Itwas first into that quiet and into the nothingness that Ihad to move. And that realization was the beginningof moving into a simple place, into a simplicity. Andso, as I began to realize that and relax into that firstspace of simplicity, there was a flash of Light. And Iwent, “Oh!” Well, in meditation, the moment I go,

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by Laura Kesten, ILM Minister

OVING EVERY MOMENT

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very day in our lives we experience amyriad of changes: from little things likea new recipe or a new haircut, to a surpriselike a flat tire, to bigger changes like

pursuing a new job and relocating, to facingthe death of a loved one. There are also times whenwe experience a change in our role in life: once astudent, then perhaps a teacher; once a caregiver,then perhaps a patient; once a child, then for manyof us, a parent. Like the seasons, change isinevitable in our lives.

Presently in my life, I’m going through “once a child,then a parent, then (soon) an empty-nest parent.” I’mwatching my daughter, Cally, as she finishes highschool and prepares to leave home to attend college.This is causing my own memories of being 18 yearsold to flash before me like it was just yesterday.Graduating from high school, working my first job,packing to leave home to go off to college —

everything was so new and exciting. All I couldthink about was traveling the open road free ofparental demands, rules, and discipline.

Back then, I was so fully into my own experience thatI did not consider what my mother might beexperiencing at the same time. Then about a year ago,I saw this great television commercial whichbeautifully expressed a parent’s and a child’s differentexperiences of this same event.

The commercial went something like this. You see adad looking at tires with his daughter and you hear thedad’s voice-over recounting that day. The dad says,“Our daughter is going away to college soon andher mother and I want to make sure her car will gether there safely. It’ll give me a little peace of mindwhen she’s out on the road. It’s her first trip alone.I‘m a little sad she’s leaving. We’re going to missher.” The voice of the daughter is now dubbed overthe tape and she says, “I’ll be leaving for collegesoon, so my dad wants my car to be road-safe withnew tires. It’s my first trip alone. I can’t wait to goto college. I’m so excited!”

By the end of the commercial, I found myself bothlaughing and crying. My thoughts and feelingscollided with one another, creating this grand finaleof fireworks of knowing both sides of this change:first, remembering how electrifying 18 felt, whichbumped into feeling excited for Cally, which thenbumped into realizing that she’d be leaving soon —and my excitement, like the dad’s in the commercial,and perhaps like my mother’s years ago, bumpedinto sadness.

I felt a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach.But at some point, I realized that I had a choice.Thinking about the change to come, I could either staystuck with a sore throat and bad digestion or I couldlive in the moment — consciously embrace everymoment with Cally while she still resides in our home,as well as embrace the future moments as they comeand live in the fullness of them. Suddenly, I beganhaving a much different experience. Not only have Ibecome excited for Cally, I’m also excited for myself.I’m looking forward to whatever new adventures comemy way ... which reminds me of another commercialthat aired several years ago. Like the first commercialI shared, the daughter is going off to college. At thedoor of her parent’s home, she hugs and kisses hermom and dad, and turns and walks to her car. Herparents wave good-bye; mom dabs a kerchief at thecorner of her eye. As the daughter drives away, shesays, “My parents look so sad. This is going to bereally hard on them. I hope they’re going to be okay.”Still waving, mom turns to dad and says, “Got thetickets?” Dad pulls the tickets out of his back pocket,grabs the suitcases, and mom puts on Mickey Mouseears as they both rush out the door.

For Cally and I, our lives will be changing. That’s lifeon the physical plane. It’s inevitable, and althoughneither of us can really know how this change willfeel or affect us, how one day we may kick and scream,and another move into ease and grace, I am realizingthat the only choice I want to participate in is toconsciously love every moment of my experience. It’sin this way that I feel in sync with the movement oflife, and with the movement of Spirit in my life.

How I wanted things to be, what I wanted it to looklike — it wasn’t happening the way I wanted it to.So, inside of me was this internal pressure buildingup, hoping somehow it would make things happenthe way I wanted them to happen. Yet, what I wantedto happen wasn’t. What was I to do? How do Icreate what I want in my life ? I realized that I’veheld the belief that when I wanted something in mylife I had to somehow envision it and move towardsit, to be responsible and create it. It was up to me tomake it happen. However, all I was experiencingwas an internal pressure from unmet expectations.How could I create what I want in my life withoutthe expectations?

I realized that what I needed to do was to let go ... letgo of the expectations that I had already created, sothat they would no longer create this internal pressurethat was holding me back from going deeper into theSpirit within me. So right then and there, I began lettinggo. I gave my expectations up to God and asked Godto take them and to fill them with loving, that theymay be released and freed up so that I could once againbe in loving oneness and connection with God. Andall that I experience may be in that loving oneness andconnection with God. And sure enough, that’s what Iexperienced. I felt the expectations go, and Iexperienced God’s loving fill me and free me so thatall there was inside me was the experience of loving.And after a while, things came to a quiet inside. AndI was left with, “Now, what am I going to do?”

Now that I was free of those expectations, instead ofcreating more of them, I decided to just be in lovingwith God. To actually get back to meditating in thetruer sense: to love God and let God love me. And asI moved back into that internal flow of loving, throughchanting The Names of God (as taught in ILM), I beganto realize that the way to create without expectationsis simply to be in loving with God; that that internalflow of loving with God is truly where creation takesplace. I realized that the flow of loving is ‘the creator’,not ‘me’. That all I have to do is be in the internal, creativeflow of loving, and that which ‘I’ truly want to createalready is! There is nothing for ‘me’ to create; I simply‘let go’ and know that it already is.

by Brian Yeakey,Vice President of ILM

12

R

ETTING GO

OF EXPECTATIONS

ecently, in my meditation, I was aware ofan internal pressure that was not allowingme to go deeper within. The pressure

wasn’t physical or physiological in nature,but rather something psychological or emotional thatI was experiencing inside of me. This pressure was‘pushing’ on me in such a way that I experienced it asholding me back or pushing my focus more into theworld rather than going into Spirit. So, since I wasn’table to get beyond this internal pressure, I figured Imight as well take a look at it and see what it wasabout and what it might have to teach me.

As soon as I made the decision to look at it and learnfrom it, the energy began to shift and open. And thefirst thing I realized is that all I have to do in my life isbe willing to look at something within me, to confrontit, and it will automatically begin to open up for me.Have you ever heard the saying, “That which we resistpersists”? I have found that if I will just look atwhatever comes forward in my life, acknowledge it,and begin to work with the experience, any resistancedrops away. It’s when I try to avoid, ignore, or fightwith it that the resistance continues. So I’ve learnedthat this first step of being willing to look at andacknowledge whatever presents itself is of majorimportance for overcoming resistances within myself.

As I continued to look at this process going on withinme and as it continued to open up, I also realized thatpart of why it was opening up for me was that I waswilling to take responsibility for what was going oninside of me and to do something about it! Theresistance was coming from me not being willing tobe responsible for what this pressure was that wasgoing on inside. And now that I was doing somethingabout it, this part within me began to open up and sharewith me.

So as this opened within me, I became aware that thepressure I was feeling was my own expectations whichI had created around a situation in my life. Or moreaccurately, my expectations that weren’t getting met!

L

13

by Bill Stratton,ILM Minister

meals were perfect for a retreat venue for all of theparticipants, both vegetarians and non-vegetarians.All together the retreat was well set up for a veryrich inner and outer experience. Throughout theretreat I could easily see the elegance in the settingand accommodations, and how these elegantfeatures (both in simplicity and in richness) createdharmony to enable each participant the opportunityto fully experience Spirit. But what about eleganceon the inner journey of this Path of Sound andLight?

As I contemplated this one afternoon at the retreat,I realized that as one travels on this inner path thereis the elegance of the alignment of one’sconsciousness in moving from the physical to andthrough the different levels of being; i.e. theimaginational, the emotional, the mental, theunconscious and the Soul levels. The journey is anatural flow of Spirit, and Spirit is actively presentto guide and work with each of us to help lift us andmove us forward, or rather, upward and onward.With that flow, that movement, comes theexperience of opening inwardly, and of attuning toGod’s abundance — of joy, of loving, and ofpeace. With these qualities comes a differentexperience of the world around us and a lesseningof the pull from the world which tends to dominateour lives. The whole process of The Path of Soundand Light becomes the proverbial “effortless effort”— a pleasingly superior (Webster) process ofgoing back home to God, whereas we move towardsSpirit, Spirit in return moves toward us in greaterways. In other words, elegant.

The elegance of this path that ILM is bringingforward is simply reconnecting to our own divinitythrough meditation and experiencing the richnessof who we are on all levels. This inward movementwith Spirit is beautifully set up by Spirit, and allthat is needed from each of us is the time and theability to sit down, close one’s eyes, chant inwardlyin a focus of loving God and allowing our ownjourney back home to God to unfold. Simple andelegant.

LEGANCE ON THE PATHE

O ver the past few years I have heard JimGordon talk about The Path of Sound

and Light that ILM is now sharing withothers as one of simplicity and elegance. In Jim’stalks I have heard much about the simplicity of thispath: simply chanting the names of God inmeditation while keeping one’s focus ‘singular’,at the Seat of the Soul, or the Third Eye, and thenmoving inwardly upward into and through thedifferent levels of consciousness as one movesforward within the flow of God’s loving. It is aninward journey that requires simply sitting downdaily and meditating. Simple, yes, although indeedit does takes time, patience and a refocusing ofone’s priorities.

With this in mind the idea of simplicity on this pathis understood. However, recently I realized Ihadn’t given much thought to the part aboutelegance. In Webster, the word “elegant” is definedas: nice, choice, or pleasingly superior in qualityor kind, as a contrivance, preparation, or process.This made me wonder how elegance applies to thispath. Is the focus of simplicity elegant in itself, inthe sense that this path really is spirituality pareddown to its essence; that is, of simply going withinin meditation? Or is elegance an actual experienceone has when traveling on this inner journey of ThePath of Sound and Light?

During the recent ILM retreat, Experiencing TheDivine — A Meditative Retreat, I was inspired tolook at the aspect of elegance on this inner path.There was elegance physically: the setting was abeautiful retreat center nestled in the countrysideoutside of Austin. The weather was spring-likeand comfortable throughout the long four-dayweekend. There were beautiful peacocks roamingthe grounds, including a white one which most ofus had never seen before. The accommodationswere equally wonderful and comfortable, and the

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organization dedicated to teaching spiritual awakeningthrough an inner practice of meditation. This meditationpractice is an inner path through which the soultranscends the physical realms of creation to its truehome in the spiritual realms within the heart of God. Inspiritual teachings and literature this inner path isoften referred to as “The Path of Sound and Light,”“The Path of The Holy Spirit,” “The Path of Love,” orsimply as “The Path” or “The Way.” ILM offersinitiation into this meditation practice enabling one tofully experience this inner journey of awakening.

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