All that Glitters 12

Lounge’s Eid special 28

Interview: Nilofer Shahid 32

Fashion 35

The killing spree has its pluses 40

Online qurbani dot com 41

Massarat’s Makeovers 42

Books 44

What women want 46

Recipes 48

Films 52

Fitness 53

Slavemasters 55

Taroscope 56

Aunt Athena 58

EditorInjila Baqir Zeeshan

Sub EditorsFatima Zehra Naqvi

Sahar Iqbal

Creative HeadBabur Saghir

Graphic DesignersJaveria MirzaSana Ahmed

Mian Nasir

PhotographerMohammad Amir Baba

24

Contents

35Ingeniousmasterpieces

9thLUX Style Awards

The 9th Lux Style Awards ceremony took place at Karachi Marriott. This year’s LSA was organised on pattern of the Golden Globes. It was devoid of the performances. The Unilever Chairman’s Lifetime Achievement Award 2010 was presented to Roohi Bano. The event was organised and managed by Catwalk Productions.

12 I November 14 - 20, 2010

Black safe yet boring!

Anoushay, Angeline Malik, Mathira, Saba Qamer & others dressed in black at the awards ceremony

14 I November 14 - 20, 2010

16 I November 14 - 20, 2010

Nadia Hussain’s ‘Fetish’ launched in LahorePakistani supermodel Nadia Hussain launched her shoe collection which she has designed in collaboration with Flitz, under the label Fetish. The red carpet at the exclusive exhibition at Koh-e-Noor Hall, Lahore saw the who’s who of the fashion and the showbiz fraternity grace the event with best wishes and heaps of appreciation for Nadia. It was managed by Bilal Mukhtar Events and PR. Fatima Zehra

18 I November 14 - 20, 2010

Fozia, Natasha, Aayan and Mehreen

Athar Shahzad, Babra Shareef and Saadia

Guests

Guests Guests

Saadia Mirza launches prêt collection

20 I November 14 - 20, 2010

Mehreen

‘Saadia Mirza Virtues’, the label, is boldly quixotic. Unique in its creations, the outfits are like costumes, defining individual women with a raw power and fasci-nation, which is in all essence characteristic of true femininity. Concentrating on diversity, Saadia has expanded her creative energies in six different lines – Vanity, Vintage, Vision, Voyage, Visage and Velocity. Top models presented the outfits, styled by Khawar Riaz and choreographed by Rezz Aly Shah. The event took place at Fashion Pakistan Lounge in Lahore. It was managed by Savvy PR and Events.

Freiha Altaf

Saadia and Carmella

Guests

Mehreen

Natasha

22 I November 14 - 20, 2010

The exquisite jewellery exhibition by Naheed comprising of a diverse range of exotic gems was displayed at 436 K Model Town. It embraced a wide col-lection of semi precious and gold plat-ed jewellery. Naheed while talking to Pakistan Today said that she gets her in-

spiration from objects of beauty. On the whole, it was a wonderful effort and the response to the exhibition was overwhelming. Beenish Mahmood

Naheed’s Jewellery Exhibition

24 I November 14 - 20, 2010

Lives forsaken at the Bahawalpur Zoo

Published by Markings, ‘BHV Zoo’, by Karachi-based photographer, Amean J, is a somber, melancholic depiction of the animals that in-habit the Bahawalpur Zoo. Set against stark, white pages, the black and white photographs illustrate a forlorn, ghost-like ambience of the zoo, with animals wearing expressions of abandonment and resigna-tion to life. ‘BHV Zoo’ is also available as an e-book, which incorpo-rates a music by the duo, Zeb and Haniya, and poetry by Ilona Yusuf. For an animal lover like myself, Amean’s photographs were painful to assimilate. The photographs in ‘BHV Zoo’, do not focus solely on the zoo’s animals. Other photos such as, a group of five burqa-clad women sitting in the zoo’s barren park, food vendors, a patch of grass strewn with dry leaves, and a vacant playground, all provide an interesting contrast to the images of the zoo’s animals. “Animals are extremely beautiful and photographing them in colour would’ve taken away the point I’m trying to make in this book,” he says while commenting on the black and white photos.

By Sonya Rehman

26 I November 14 - 20, 2010

Eid SpecialLounge’s

CTCDelicious and stylish, the cakes of Coffee, Tea and Com-pany are highly recommended this Eid. Lounge would

advise you to, for once, shy away from the usual spongy fare and try their Oreo or Blueberry Cheesecake.

Masoom’sDon’t we all just love this little bakery? Their cakes are an irresistible combination of mouthwatering

and affordable. And Lounge suggests that you get a bit adventurous and pack in a bunch of cake slices

of different flavours to avoid giving a boring cake. Lounge’s pick? Death by Chocolate

anytime!

Gifts for loved onesLals

Lals chocolates reflect the combination of authentic, premium ingredients with plenty of imagination and flair. These sumptu-

ous delights are a perfect gift for loved ones this Eid and wedding season. Heavenly, this!

By fatima Zehra Naqvi

Confused where to go? Pressed for time? Budget issues? Shrug off your wor-ries as Lounge is here to make that special Eid shopping spree a piece of cake for you. We give you an exclusive sneak peek into the variety and prices at the most fashionable brands in town. So while we take care of your need for information, you get time to take care of your Eid ki shop-ping. And ladies, don’t forget it’s the wedding season in full bloom, so think long-term and invest wisely. Happy shopping!

28 I November 14 - 20, 2010

Eid Special

Spice up your wardrobe!

Cynosure Price range: Rs 1,800 – Rs 2,600Whether you are tight on time or tight on funds, worry not, because Cynosure with its uniquely stylish and reasonably priced range is your perfect destination.

GenerationPrice range: Rs 2,600 – Rs 10,000Hardly a girl in town has not worn a Generation outfit – they are that popular, since years. So trust your favourite boutique to give you your money and fashion’s worth.

Khaadi (unstitched three-piece)Price range: Rs 3,300 – Rs 11,000 Khaadi is for the woman who likes to make a classy impression without overdoing on colour or glamour. The fine fabrics, soft shades and subtle designs are so Khaadi, they will surely set you apart.

KarmaPrincessChildren love to imagine themselves as royalty. Kar-ma Princess has transformed these fantasies into real-ity. The label has created a trendy new line for young girls. The very name beautifully cap-tures the entire thematic collection that is created with a touch of soft colours ranging from the classic country inspired de-signs to classic fairytales. Karma Princess brings beauti-ful royal garments for kids at affordable prices. The price ranges from Rs 1,500 to Rs 1,000. Let your princess her-self as she gets ready for royal treatment this Eid ul Azha. Sahar Iqbal

Khaadi KhaasPrice range: Rs 6,000 – Rs 18,000

You hardly have time at hand and want a well-stitched, stylish and eye-catching dress for Eid or for that cousin’s wedding? Khaadi Khaas has an

attractive range line up just for you.

KarmaPrice range: Rs 18,000 – Rs 25,000

Maheen Kardar has designed some very trendy outfits – an appealing blend of traditional and

contemporary. And there’s something for your lit-tle angels too: Karma Princess is cuteness personi-

fied.

Fashion Pakistan LoungePrice range: Rs 10,000 – Rs 60,000

Designer label et al defines you? Lounge strongly recommends this multi-label designer store that

features over twenty designers from Karachi and Lahore. Zarmina, Nomi Ansari, Gulabo

Roshaaney, Deepak Perwani and gang await you to try out that uber-chic outfits and accessories for

a perfect red carpet look.

I 29November 14 - 20, 2010

Tickle your

Sole!Charles & Keith

Price range: Rs 2,500 – Rs 5,000Meet high-end fashion at its affordable best. Make an expensive style state-ment with C&K this season – and for

seasons to come too.

Marie ClairePrice range: Rs 1,000 – Rs 2,500

Marie Claire is all about contempo-rary fashion. The shoes are modern, elegant and feminine. For those who want chic subtlety and avoid gaudy embellishments, Marie Claire’s the per-fect choice. And hey, it even fits your

budget.

Stylo Price range: Rs 350 – Rs 6,000

For all those in frugality mode, head to Stylo for a trendy pair of flats or heels. It won’t burn a hole in your precious

wallet and fulfill the purpose.

SoulPrice range: Rs 400 – Rs 5,000

Soul is reasonable and chic – a viable combination. With an attractive and versatile range, we’re sure you will find something to your ‘soul’s liking’ here.

EidSpecial

30 I November 14 - 20, 2010

Celebrity Interview

Her produc-tions are pieces of art, depic t ions of our herit-age and cul-ture, Islamic

poetry and philosophy, each one of them keen to share a story. The hands and mind behind these pieces of art is none other than Nilofer Shahid’s. She is one of those people who have spear-headed the fashion movement in this conservative country of ours. Surely it has taken tremendous hardwork, faith and detremina-tion.

She has participated in Bridal Asia International Fashion Week

32 I November 14 - 20, 2010

Pakistan’s “Runway Empress”

By Bushra Shehzad

Nilofer Shahid:

in Delhi in 2004 and Bridal Asia 2005. In 2004, Nilofer was appointed on the Board of Governors for the Lux Style Awards. She was also nominated for the LSA for the Best Designer Couture/ Bridal wear in 2002, and awarded the LSA for Best De-signer Couture/ Bridal wear in 2003.

In her adventures abroad, she prepared a signature collection inspired by Kashmiri shawls that was shown alongside the work of the late Spanish fashion designer Cris-tobal Balenciaga Eisaguirre, which went on display in Paris from July 4, 2006 to Janu-ary 28, 2007. She is the only Pakistani to have appeared in the Paris Couture Week 2007. She has represented Paksitan all over, bringing home respect and pride.

Nilofer’s label, ‘Meeras’ means ‘legacy’ and hers is one legendary legacy of the fash-ion world.

Lounge: You have been titled the ‘Runway

Empress’. How do you describe yourself in that role?

Nilofer Shahid: When you’re given a certain label, there has to be some sub-stantial evidence behind that. The kind of collections I do, the kind of work I have done, it’s different, and it’s more of art. I’m the kind who has always said, “Let my work speak for itself” and that is what I believe in.

Lounge: You have done numerous shows and exhibitions abroad. What sort of a re-sponse have you received from the general audiences?

NS: I have attained tremendous respect abroad. Especially, in Paris, which is the Makkah of fashion, I’ve been called “the queen”. The Holy Book of their fashion world, Le Figaro titled me, “The Dior of Pakistan” in 1997. I can never forget the standing ovation I received in Vancouver

She is the only Pakistani to have appeared in the Paris Couture Week 2007. She has represented Pakistan all over, bringing home respect and pride

I 33November 14 - 20, 2010

when Pakistan opened a mission there and I was to display my collections. This wom-an, a morning show hostess, she came up to me and said, “Nilofer, you are a national treasure, you should be taken care of.” And the applause that followed still lives in my heart.

Lounge: Your outfits are profound pieces of art and culture, depicting our history and heritage in all its majestic glory. Who or what has been the source of inspiration behind this unique concept?

NS: I have grown up in a Pathan fam-ily of warriors, poets, writers and painters. So if I have done saratorial interpretations, they are of things I have picked up on my way. So let’s say if I have used themes from Khalil Gibran, Iqbal’s poetry, Chugtai’s paintings or Omer Khayyam, they are not paintings, or poetry that I am doing. My language is design and fashion.

Lounge: There are designers in Pakistan who have plagiarised other designers and conveniently incorporated their designs into their lines. How do you feel about that?

NS: I feel very sad because as a de-signer I feel, no matter what you are doing, whether it’s good work or bad, the creativ-ity should always come from within you. It’s alright to be inspired by someone but you need to learn to do your own thing.

Lounge: You have had a huge stellar clien-tele. How did it feel to to design for them?

NS: I think the experience has been pretty exhilarating. You meet these peo-ple you are in awe of, like Lady Diana or the Saudi princesses. But when you meet them, they are normal, down-to-earth peo-ple. I have not met any celebrity who has

airs about them. Even Jemima was a good friend, she is. I had designed her wedding dress, and we’ve been friends ever since.

Lounge: It has been almost 3 decades of fashion designing for you. How hard has your journey been from a novice to a maestro?

NS: It has been a tough jour-ney but not without rewards. Initially, it was so difficult con-vincing women to even buy designer clothes. In those

times, we were charging Rs 2,000-3,000. We had to tell them that they are getting a special piece, it’s custom-made, spe-cific to their individual needs. Slowly, but surely, it paid.

Lounge: Considering you are a mar-ried woman and in a society such as ours, how hard it was to convince your in-laws and husband?

NS: When I started, it was, “You can do it in the house” sort of a story. But then my in-laws have been very supportive. If my husband hadn’t allowed me to, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything. I have been very passionate about my work since the very beginning. It has been my obsession. The amount of time that I have devoted to my work has been phenomenal com-pared to many people. I have worked six-teen hours a day, where many peo-ple work o n l y eight to nine hours. Of course, this is not easy without the support of one’s fam-ily.

My passion has been to promote our culture. I always wanted to do something different. And I have wanted to portray a positive image of our country, its history and its culture abroad

Nilofer Shahid’s breathtaking jewellery designs have proved beyond doubt,

that this woman’s talent knows no bounds. Meeras’s Haute Couture Maison prêt jewellery’s remarkable feature is its affordability. This collection will mesmerize you, leaving

you open mouthed as you behold these ingeniously crafted artistic masterpieces! It’s the kind of jewellery you have never

come across before. Nilofer has used precious and semi precious stones here. Having met a roaring response in Paris, each piece is

unique in this one of a kind collection.

Photography,

styling & concept

Fazal Abbas & Fatima @ Sheriff Studios

Hair & Makeup

Shammal at Toni & Guy

Model

Neha

Text

Injila Baqir Zeeshan

40 I November 14 - 20, 2010

Sharpen your knives and get ready for the blood-bath! Eid-ul-Azha is here!

It’s the time of the year, when houses all over the country are plagued with sacrificial livestock,

awaiting the butcher’s slaughter! When we become shepherds and flaunt our herds!

As we’re embroiled in all sorts of crises, Eid seems to be the only happy thing we can look forward to. We’ll get to talk to all those forgotten friends and relatives. Facebook will be the standard mode of communication along with clichéd ‘chaand raat’ phone messages amid choked cellular networks. With calls that won’t connect and the mil-lions of messages that will be delivered the next day!

Eid is a thoughtful event that shows us how many relatives you have, as un-known khalas and phupis turn up at the door. They come with no hint of leav-ing, as you acknowledge their invasion with forced smiles early in the morning. They just never stop coming!

It’s funny how for 363 days of the year, you dress up the way you choose to, but for Eid, you are expected to dress up with that extra special care. It’s a chance for many people to dress differ-ently! Men who wear western clothes all year look really funny wearing achkans with 40+ waists near explosion. The ladies of the house get to exhibit their latest jewellery and wardrobe. Eid also gives them an opportunity to hunt for potential sons or daughters in law.

Half of the people I know spend their Eid in siesta, successfully avoiding guests and additional chores like hunt-ing for butchers and distributing meat. Interestingly, you feel terribly Muslim and closer to God on Eid. You actually

get to see the inside of your neighbourhood mosque after a very long time and meet the Imam for the first time!

In the mosque, you get to hug strangers with wicked smiles on their faces not once, but thrice. It’s survival of the fittest as some try to hug you as hard as they can.

There used to be a great fear of hav-ing your shoes being stolen while you’re praying. You would often see people re-turn barefoot to their homes. Or with a new pair of shoes!

But that fear has been replaced by the threat of having the mosque hit by a suicide bomber. On Eid, we will all be heading towards mosques with fear; it will be a real test of faith.

With Eid, we are tortured with the ‘Surma’ and ‘Gaye Soap’ commer-cials that wish the entire nation Eid Mubarak. Last Eid while driving back home, I was telling a friend of mine how the spirit of Eid had dwindled over the years. Suddenly a thunderous pack of a thousand motorcycles and ‘woofed up’ cars blaring Punjabi music silenced me. They danced on the roads, much to the delight of the paralysed traffic and police. That’s Eid spirit for you.

Hospitals remain pretty active on Eid. They have people vomiting around the place, victims of overeating and merry making I tell you. And then we have the Bollywood rejects, bikers with failed stunts who land themselves straight into hospitals, keeping rescue ambulances busy all day. The religious

organisations chase you all day for ani-mal hides, one should also ensure prop-er disposal of animal intestines that rot the entire nation, once we’re done with the sacrifices.

People suddenly remember their dead relatives and ancestors on Eid and head off to the graveyard. Most people end up praying at the wrong graves, as they cannot remember the actual graves after a yearlong visit. The undertaker makes the most of it, as he misleads people to such graves and is rewarded for their maintenance!

Though Eid sounds like a wild roll-er coaster ride, it does bring people to-gether, who do not get to see each other that often. We should be thankful to funerals, weddings and Eids for uniting people! Eid Mubarak everyone.

The killing spree has its pluses! Saad Sarfraz Sheikh writes about the hilarious behaviour of our nation on Eid ul Azha, the slaughter of biblical proportions but one that reunites us with our loved ones.

In the mosque, you get to hug strangers with wicked smiles on their faces not once, but thrice. It’s survival of the fittest as some try to hug you as hard as they can

Just recently as I was surf-ing the net I came across the novel concept (pun intended) of online Qurbani on the cel-ebrations of the festival of Eid Ul Azha. The whole concept of Qurbani is turning into

m more or less of a joke.The religious significance that centered on the immense sacrifice Hazrat Ibra-him made is giving way to a parody of the essentials behind this noteworthy practice.

Online Qurbani is no doubt an important part of the rapidly mecha-nized world and facilitates the Farz of performing sacrifice for the increasingly demanding and busy population of Pa-kistan yet it in no way can be made a replacement for the actual ritual itself. With the unmerciful onslaught of the information technology, the scenario has changed considerably. People have taken over to cell phones, computers, and social networking so much so that the era of writing letters and playing outdoor games had vanished into thin air in the same way as the original ritual of sacrifice has been replaced by the burlesque of automated Qurbani.

“Qurbanionline.com is, and wishes to remain, your most trusted source for a hassle free and convenient Qurbani. We send scanned copies of charity re-ceipts, pictures of animal alive and pic-tures of animal slaughtered to build and reinforce your confidence in us. If you would like to suggest any extra measures to reinforce your trust you can write to us at info@qurbanionline.com or using the comments box of the order form.” So this is the new and rather hilarious or I would say sad concept that has

evolved with time. It is funny and sad at the same time to think that it is only a matter of years when people will be issued certificates for small monetary amounts that they will display on their front doors as evidence of having made sacrifice and henceforth fulfilled their Farz or obligations. The inflating prices of the livestock after the devastating floods have made this situation more likely to take place.

It is even more amusing to discover that these online websites open with a quotation from the Holy Koran before attempting to display the information. For instance:

“... And take a provision (with you) for the journey (to Hajj),

but the best of provi-sions is right conduct. So fear Me, o ye that are wise.” Qur’an 2:197

The Prophet Mu-hammad (pbuh) was once asked by his Companions: “O Prophet of Al- l a h ! What is this Q u r -bani?” He re- pl ied, “It is the Sun- nah of your father I b r a h i m (as).” (Ha- dith - Ibn Majah). To follow the Sun-nah of the prophet means to copy his actions. Hence, Qurbani has to be performed as it was performed by the Prophet (pbuh). The entire idea of Qurbani is to feel the spirit and pain of sacrifice that Hazrat Ibrahim faced. And online Qurbani or Qurbani at the butcher’s store saving one the trouble of distributing and packing the meat is

really of no significance.The ritual has to be sensed and

experienced. It has to be felt from the heart like a true Muslim would feel it. Only then will it be accepted in the eyes of God. Only then will the bond of God and his band be strengthened further. And only then will the country attain its respect as a true Muslim coun-try and nation.

So my fellow human beings pon-der over what has been said above and promise to yourselves that this Eid you will forgo your luxurious habits and

perform the rite yourself!

Online qurbani dot com

By Beenish Mahmood

The entire idea of Qurbani is to feel the spirit and pain of sacrifice that Hazrat Ibrahim faced and online Qurbani is really of no significance.

I 41November 14 - 20, 2010

Massarat Misbah is a very talented beautician. She has the ability to transform any face to make it look appealing and charming. Her magical touch can do wonders for any woman belonging to any age group. Lounge brings you makeovers of real women and not just fashion models.

Real makeovers for real women

We apply moisturiser to clean the face before applying make-up.

We apply bases of different tones to give the right shade to skin.

A base eyeshade is applied before using the dark colour; white-eye pencil is used on inner side of the eye to enhance the eye shape.

Black eye colour is used to further enhance eyes

Blush-on is applied to give a fresh look.

A light shade of lip colour is applied

You are

invited!to send in your picture with a few words

about yourself and you can

WIN A FREE MAKEOVERto be featured in this column.

Just write to us on: lounge@pakistantoday.com.pk

After makeover

42 I November 14 - 20, 2010

An author of four c o l l e c -tions of U r d u v e r s e , Yasmeen

Hameed is also a recognised translator of Urdu poetry into English. The present anthol-ogy comprises some 63 Urdu poets’ selected nazms (aside from one of her own) along with their English version, arranged in a chronological order.

In her introduction to the work, the author gives a de-tailed analysis of the subject and its different shades.

“This anthology includes only the nazm. Before going any further I would briefly explain the terms, ghazal, nazm and nasri nazm which frequently appear in the book and might be of some use to the un-initiated reader.

“A ghazal is made up of five or more units (shaer) of two lines (misraas) each. It does not have a title because the units are linked to each other, not through continu-ity of meaning but through the continu-ity of the same metre (bahar) and rhyme scheme (use of qafia and radeef). Each unit is therefore a complete, quotable entity.

“A nazm has a title as it has a particular theme and is unified through continuity of meaning… Change in the traditional form of the nazm began with the introduction of blank verse (nazm-e-muarra) in the late nineteenth century. The length of the line in blank verse remains constant but the rhyme scheme is omitted.

“The free verse (azad nazm) was intro-duced in the early twentieth century. This form is now the most popular form of the nazm. Free verse in Urdu is not restrained by a rhyme scheme or the length of its lines but it is strictly bound by metre.

“The only form of nazm which is nei-ther bound by a rhyme scheme nor a me-

An impressive anthology of Pakistani Urdu verse

Although the selection is by and large subjective, it generally reflects a mix of the traditional and the modern. Symbolism, obscurity, interior monologue, impressionism, a deep concern for humanity and its woes, a sense of ever-growing alienation, a united sensibility and multiplicity of meanings are some of the marked features of modem poetry as of literature.

Pakistani Urdu Verse – An Anthology Publisher: Oxford University Press,

Karachi, Pakistan Pages: 513; Price: Rs995

By Syed Afsar Sajid

44 I November 14 - 20, 2010

tre is the prose poem (nasri nazm). The aesthetic dimension of the prose poem is taken care of by the arrangement of words, the use of language and a crea-tive layout of the pattern of thought…”

The major and minor poets ap-pearing in the anthology include Noon Meem Rashed, Faiz Ahmed Faiz, Meeraji, Majeed Amjad, Ahmed Nadeem Qasmi, Wazir Agha, Munir Niazi, Ada Jaffery, Gilani Kamran, Mustafa Zaidi, Ahmed Faraz, Akhtar Hussain Jaafri, Aftab Iqbal Shamim, Saqi Farooqi, Iftikhar Jalib, Zahid Dar, Ahmad Hamesh, Kishwar Naheed, If-tikhar Arif, Amjad Islam Amjad, Abdul Rashid, Fahmida Riaz, Sarwat Hussain, Perveen Shakir, Naseer Ahmad Nasir, Shaheen Mufti, Rafiq Sandeelvi, Zee-shan Sahil, Harris Khalique, and Far-rukh Yar. Their biographical sketches make an interesting read besides facili-tating the interpretation of their work.

The quality of translation is impres-sive. The author seems to have a good command of the English language and its diverse prosodic/syntactical pat-terns. Although the selection is by and large subjective, it generally reflects a mix of the traditional and the modern. Symbolism, obscurity, interior mono-logue, impressionism, a deep concern for humanity and its woes, a sense of ever-growing alienation, a united sensi-bility and multiplicity of meanings are some of the marked features of modem poetry as of literature.The dominance of materialistic considerations has left us spiritually impoverished. The fol-lowing random excerpts from the book would amply illustrate this viewpoint

“With Israfil’s death/time has fro-zen,/turned into stone,/put to sleep,/each voice devoured,/all beauty erased,/such desolation,/one cannot recall one’s name!”–Noon Meem Rashed

“Dawn of the wretched,/the down-trodden,/is not in the skies;/the bright horizon/is right here,/where you and I stand; ...”–Faiz Ahmed Faiz

“No desert, no mountain, no garden

now;/only the ocean call resounds:/from the ocean has all emerged,/to the ocean must all return.”–Meeraji

“For now, in this hushed darkness/we must gather/ashes of times,/blazed and gone;/ashes which consumed from Life,/bloody dewdrops,/trickling/drop by drop,/since times unknown;/tears of countless souls,/heavy with the essence of those times.”–Majeed Amjad

“Embalm my body,/preserve me,/for I were the oppression, unmatched,/the tyranny, boundless, unending./Re-tain me,/the dagger that would strike faith,/not just the flesh but the spirit, the soul.”–Ahmed Nadeem Qasmi

“Where am I?/This barren land,/for miles tarnished with muck and

mire,/pocked with nails,/towering trees,/structures wrecked and ruined,/limbs of old rocks/in parched streams,/corpses of charred fields,/scorched wings of birds;/nothing lives,/the land is dead.”–Wazir Agha

“All around the small houses, till afar,/wayside eating places;/scores of people/enter or leave/these homes, these shops,/beautiful women gazing at them,/their eyes, attractive and kindly;/appealing and mystifying eyes,/carrying deep within them/a world of empti-ness/and futility.”–Munir Niazi

“In grief’s water/I kept dissolv-ing/seeds of Father’s lacerated eyes;/his coughing veins,/like yellow amal-tas flowers,/lay on the pillow.”–Abdul Rashid

“Eternally, the stains will remain;/dark spots on faces of/the callous, the unfeeling./What could then wash them off?/Renewed vows of love?/Profuse tears of repentance?”–Fahmida Riaz

“I wish to die the death of a wild animal,/I wish to die the death of fire,/I wish to die the death of a man …”–Sarwat Hussain

“Racing with water and wind/time overtakes me/and I, the lone/traveller of earth, /lagging way behind you,/holding close, the/leftovers of life,/

from the farthest edge/of my expanse/wait for the universe to shrink.”–Naseer Ahmed Nasir

“I will say good words/for those un-sung, unknown,/and drawn to accept defeat,/on soles of my feet I will map/the path of futility,/let go the one/in a hurry to leave.”–Yasmeen Hameed

If poetry is ‘an act of preservation’, to cite Philip Larkin, this book has sure-ly preserved a wide but variegated range of modem Urdu poetry for the benefit of readers of both Urdu and English poetry.

If poetry is ‘an act of preservation’, to cite Philip Larkin, this book has surely preserved a wide but variegated range of modem Urdu poetry for the benefit of readers of both Urdu and English poetry

Their biographical sketches of the major and minor poets appearing in the anthology make an interesting read besides facilitating the interpretation of their work

“Dawn of the wretched,/the downtrod-den,/is not in the skies;/the bright horizon/is right here,/where you and I stand; ... “

–Faiz Ahmed Faiz

“All around the small houses, till afar,/wayside eat-ing places;/scores of people/enter or leave/these homes, these shops,/beautiful women gazing at them,/their eyes, attractive and kindly;/appealing and mystifying eyes,/car-rying deep within them/a world of emptiness/and futility.”

–Munir Niazi

I 45November 14 - 20, 2010

What Women Want

Be the man every woman wants!

From the back stages of London Fash-ion Week to working with Toni Moscolo, founder of Toni & Guy; Shammal Qureshi, Brand Ambassador for Toni & Guy in Paki-stan knows what women want in their man! Catch his blog every fortnight on men’s styl-ing and fashion, both local & global.

Greetings my fellow men, and those who are on the road to becoming men. These days all I see in magazines is content that is geared towards women. I feel that not enough advice is given to Pakistani men on how to care for themselves. The result: most men walk around like headless chickens desperate for advice. Well fellows, that’s all about to change here and now:

Thinning hair: every man’s worst nightmare!

This is a growing problem for men in Pakistan. Contrary to popular belief, men have a finer hair texture than women. To combat this problem, go for a scalp treatment that boosts blood supply to the scalp leading to healthier hair growth. My favourite is the warming oil treatment by La-bel. M. Try and replace your regular multivitamin with one that promotes hair growth. The one I recommend is perfect for nails and hair. Many of my clients have had superb results.

Combat greasy flat hair

Oily scalp is also a ma-jor problem; this means greasy and flat hair! Men tend to have more oil glands than women. My advice is to wash your hair daily, and use a volume boosting shampoo suitable for everyday use. Try the Men’s Daily Moisturiz-ing Shampoo by Label. M.

A good hair style demands constant change

Guys my best style advice is to change it! No one wants to see you with the same style for like 10 years straight. Try doing something different, even if it’s slightly shorter from the sides, or slightly longer from the front. Hair styles should be changed at least twice a year. Another piece of advice is to invest in a good stylist! It makes a big difference. A good haircut is exactly like a good suit, anyone who has worn a good suit knows what I’m talking about. It’s just finished better, fits better and makes you feel so much better. Those who have figured this one out are laughing at the rest. Spend time consulting with your stylist. Don’t just sit there and say, “Do what you want,” or “Do something funky.” ‘Funky’ to some stylists means shaving one side of the hair off, whereas you may have meant hav-ing some spikes. Build a relationship with your stylist. Tell your stylist what you do for a living, tell him if you just got divorced and are going through a mid life crisis, tell him if you’re just lazy and can’t be bothered to do anything with your hair in the morning, tell him what you just can’t stand and what you really like. Once the consultation is complete it is also of utmost importance to trust your stylist.

Have mercy on your feet

Your poor feet bear the burden of your weight all day. Give them a break and scrub the soles of your feet at least once a week with a pumice stone, paying special attention to the heels. Follow this up with a pedicure at least once a month. It’s not ‘girly’, it’s just good hygiene, and not to men-tion you will have the confidence to take off your shoes and show off to your woman.

Don’t ignore your hands

One of the biggest turn offs for women is tardy long nails. Trim them regularly, and file them rounding them off on the sides. The next time you go for your pedicure treat yourself to a manicure as well. Sit back and relax with a coffee and be treated like a King. The girls will be pleased.Till next time… Adios AmigosFor comments & questions email me at

shammalq.whatwomenwant@gmail.com and lounge@pakistantoday.com.pk

46 I November 14 - 20, 2010

Recipe

Beef with Bell Peppers in Oyster Sauce

Ingredients

Beef under-cut, sliced, 500gmGarlic 6 cloves slicedBell peppers 2 large dicedGreen chillies 4 large sliced

Marinade

dark soy sauce 1 tbsprice vinegar 1 bspbrown sugar 1 tbspcrushed red chilies 1 tspoil 1 tbsp

Sauce

oil 2 tbspoyster sauce ½ cupbrown sugar 1tspajinomoto ½ tsp (optional)salt to taste or omit

Method Mix all marinade ingredients in beef and marinate for at least 2 hours. Heat oil and sauté bell peppers; keep aside. Heat 2 tbsp oil, add garlic and sauté. When aromatic, add beef and stir fry on high flame to retain juices inside. When beef is cooked through, add oyster sauce, sugar and salt. Lastly add bell peppers and green chillies and serve with boiled rice.

Chef Abdul Manan has worked with Royal Palm, World Fashion Cafe, Hot Wok Cafe in Lahore, Eye Television Network, ALite, Masala, Style360 and APlus, and also runs his own catering business by the name of Urban Gourmets.

48 I November 14 - 20, 2010

IngredientsPlain flour 2 cupsBaking powder 2 tspCoffee powder 1 tbspEggs 2 largeButter ¾ + ½ cupBrown sugar 1cup + ½ cupBananas 3 Walnuts ¾ cupChocolate chips ½ cupCoffee essence 1tspMilk as required or ½ cup

ToppingMix remaining walnuts and chocolate chips with ½ up sugar and ½ cup butter.

MethodSift flour, baking powder, and coffee. Beat one cup sugar and ¾ cup butter until light and fluffy. Gradu-ally beat in eggs into butter and sugar mixture. Mash bananas and add them to batter. Fold in half of walnuts and chocolate chips along with flour mixture into the egg mixture. Add milk to even out the consistency. Pour the mixture in a rectangular baking tin or glass dish and bake on gas mark 4, 180 C for 20 minutes. Sprinkle with topping and again bake for 20 minutes until crumble is set and crunchy. Serve hot with vanilla custard or cream.

Banoffee crumble Macaroni CheeseIngredients

Macaroni 200gButter 60g

Onion, Chopped 1Plain flour ¼ cup

Milk 2 ½ cupsGrated Cheese 1 ½ cups

Salt and pepper

Method

Preheat oven to 180ºC. Cook macaroni, drain and refresh in cold water. Heat butter in a large pan, add onion and stir over medium heat for

four minutes. Add flour and stir over heat for one minute. Add milk gradually, and stir until mixture is smooth. Stir constantly over medium heat until mixture boils and thickens. Simmer over low heat and stir in salt and pepper. Add pasta and one cup cheese. Stir until combined. Spoon into a casserole dish. Sprinkle remaining cheese on top and bake

for 20 minutes until cheese is bubbling and golden.

Imran Abbas likes to eat Macaroni Cheese

Celebrity’sfavourite

50 I November 14 - 20, 2010

‘The Next Three Days’ Release date: November 19, 2010 Director: Paul Haggis Star cast: Russell Crowe, John Brennan, Elizabeth Banks, Lara Brennan and Liam Neeson Genre: Thriller

Synopsis: Russell Crowe teams up with Academy Award-winning writer-director Paul Haggis (‘Crash’) and co-star Elizabeth Banks for this thriller con-cerning a man willing to break his wife out of prison in order to get her out of a murder conviction. Liam Neeson heads up the supporting cast, which includes Brian Dennehy, Olivia Wilde and RZA.

In cinemas now!Films

‘Guzaarish’Release date: November 19, 2010Director: Sanjay Leela BhansaliStar cast: Hrithik Roshan, Aishwarya Rai, Aditya Roy Kapoor and Monikangana DuttaGenre: Romance

Synopsis: It is an upcoming Indian film being directed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali and starring Hrithik Roshan and Aishwarya Rai in leading roles. The movie will revolve around the story of a married nurse (Aishwarya) and a quadriplegic, wheel-chair-using patient Ethan (Hrithik Roshan), suffering from impairments of the mo-tor and sensory functions of his limbs, with whom she develops an intimate bond.

‘White Material’Release date: November 19, 2010 Director: Claire Denis Star cast: Isabelle Huppert, Isaach de Bankolé, Daniel Tchangang, Christopher Lambert and Nicolas DuvauchelleGenre: Drama

Synopsis: In this drama directed and co-written by Claire Denis, Isabelle Huppert plays Maria, a white woman living in an African nation that has been falling into political chaos. Maria owns a coffee plantation and regards her property as her personal domain; she would rather fight than give up her land, though her stubborn attitude prevents her from admitting that she’s putting those close to her in danger. Maria has a young son with her former husband Andre, and Andre is deeply concerned for the safety of both Maria and their child. Andre lives in France with his new wife and has made plans for both Maria and their son to flee to Europe, but Maria insists that the military and the other farmers in the area will protect her, a belief that seems to be fuelled by arrogance rather than fact.

52 I November 14 - 20, 2010

Chest Exercises

Inclined bench press

This is a very basic free weight exercise. It is a compound exercise with stress on the chest. 1. Lie down on your back on a flat bench with your feet and shoulders firmly placed on

the bench. 2. Hold the bar with your hands slightly wider than your shoulders’ width with equal

distance on both sides for good balance. 3. Lift weight and extend your arms up then slowly lower the bar until it makes contact

with the lower portion of your chest. 4. Lift the weight back up into the starting position. This completes one rep. Complete eight to ten reps and three sets.

Tips1. It is very important that you do not bounce or jerk the weight up by using momentum. The bar must come to a complete stop mo-

mentarily before moving up again. 2. During the lift, your back and buttocks must be firmly planted on the bench and do not arch your back in order to lift a heavy weight. 3. Do not lock your elbows at the top of the lift, keep a little flex in your arm. Locking your elbows at the top may cause an injury.4. You should have enough weight on the bar so that the last rep is completed with maximum difficulty.

Whether you are wearing a T shirt or out swimming, a shapely chest is a sign of good figure. A few basic exercises are a good way to start.

Dumbbell fly

Cable Crossover

The writer owns a gym by the name XnF and is the instructor at Gymkhana gym Lahore.

By Talha Majeed Khan

Flat bench press:

This exercise is done the same way as the flat bench exercise, but on an inclined bench.

Tip: 1. Make sure that the bench is angled

at no more than 30 degrees. If you tilt the bench too high you will end up placing too much emphasis on the shoulders rather than the chest.

1. Lie down on your back on a simple flat bench.

2. Hold the dumbbells in both hands and lift them high above your chest. Keep a slight bend in your arms, palms facing inward.

3. Slowly lower the weight out to the sides until you feel a comfortable stretch on your chest muscles.

4. Now bring the dumbbells back to starting position in a slow and smooth movement. Complete three sets of eight to ten reps each.

Tips: 1. Do not bend your arms too much.

If you have to bend your arms to a 90 de-gree angle to complete the rep, then the weight is too heavy, reduce the dumbbell size for proper movement.

2. Plant your feet firmly on the floor for a stable and comfortable lift. You can also put your feet up on the bench.

This is a good exercise and helps shape up your chest. This exercise is recommend-ed at the end of your chest workout and is a good way to finish. By varying the tilt of your upper body, various areas of the chest can be exercised.

Stand with your feet slightly wider than shoulder width apart to keep a good balance. Your back facing the cable ma-chine. Select a light weight, hold the handles, bend at your waist a little, keeping your arms out to the side of your body with your elbows slightly bent.

Keep your abdominals tight, bring your arms forward in front of your chest, your both hands meeting. Hold for a second and then ease them back to starting position. Complete 8 to 10 reps of 2 to 3 sets.

Tips: 1. Make sure that your wrists, elbows, and shoulders move in the same line and as one unit until your hands meet in the

middle.2. Do not arch your back. Bend at your waist keeping your back straight at all times, this will keep your back muscles safe.

Fitness

I 53November 14 - 20, 2010

Slave masters

For the amount of ha-tred that seems to ooze out of women’s state-ments about these poor young girls, it is mind boggling how our maids manage to

feature in our conversations so of-ten. We are obsessed with them. We use them, we abuse them, and yet inexplicably, we remain the victims of their atrocities. There’s nothing we can do about our predicament. I do not intend to generalize here, for we, as a na-tion have a lot more on our hands, even their blood, but there are definitely those of us who should be pitied. The human rights activ-ists who would shake their heads in disapproval also need to know our side of the story.

An issue that runs common in the younger maids is that of love! Unfailingly, all of them fall in love. It is not the common sort of love. It is the kind which we never had the luxury to fall in. It is the all pow-erful, completely overwhelming, supremely passionate, highly un-reasonable, and the ‘devil may care what happens’ kind! Whenever I am furious at finding out about a new love story, I begin to question myself if my fury has resulted from my maid having eloped with her lover, or if I am jealous of her that she did!

And run away, they must but often they return. The concept or

need of spending time to get over a tempestu-ous affair is alien to them. Again enviable! I recall how one of them had the name of the driver she was in love with, tattooed on her forearm. And how within days, she went and married someone else her parents found for her, and lived an instantly happy life and for ever after. But some of them, having run off, need to be brought back. In two such inci-dents, the maids had found for themselves boys belonging to good families of the elite. So one day, when the ruthless bajis had left for office, they grabbed hold of a few expen-sive clothes, tricked the watchman and fled off on a car waiting outside. Police then needs to be involved and it’s a messy situa-tion which ends in you losing the maid. She has to be sent back to her parents. So they manage to evoke feelings of not just jealousy but also a sense of great loss. Most often the eloping maid is the one, who had the brains to get the hang of how you want things done. It’s a big loss indeed.

Checking her bag, when the maid goes off on a holiday, presents a unique chal-lenge. I know only one woman who can do a search that enables her to extract the tiniest of valuables, which the maid has hidden away in unimaginable places. But I know tons of women who remain helpless in the situation. After having a lot of money and many pre-cious things stolen, I once decided to check the bag, just as my girl was about to launch off on her vacation. I discovered that she had thousands of rupees and some makeup items of mine. Upon being questioned, she confi-dently replied that the money was given to her by her mother and the makeup was hers. She had bought it at the local mela in her vil-lage. She glared at me. She demanded I give it

back to her and I obliged, without having the stomach to ask how she could have afforded Mac and Shiseido!

The cheap calling rates on cell phones have unleashed an unthinkable horror upon us. A friend was so fed up of the phone con-stantly sticking to her maid’s ear that she took it away. The maid’s boyfriend brought her another one. And this happened many times. My friend would take it away and the boyfriend would throw another one, over the backyard wall. When she finally put a firm end to it, the girl disappeared!

I can often see my maid, dusting or put-ting clothes in the washing machine with one hand because the other holds the phone in place. The calls continue for hours. And even when she goes for a bath, the darned gadget rings and rings till I want to crush in into a million pieces but would I dare? God forbid!

In many households, one can hear wom-en screaming and yelling at these poor young girls who come to torture us. They will watch TV, when they should be working; they will even dictate which channel to watch. They will finish the tub of ice cream, and refuse to have even touched it. They will give you high blood pressure, by lying about everything. They will rob you in broad daylight in front of your eyes and there’s nothing you will be able do about it.

The maids make us dance to their tunes, day in and day out, for they have figured that they are now the crutches without which we cannot survive. They hold the power to make us comply with any wish of theirs. Well, perhaps it’s time we got off our comfy sofas, moved a muscle or two and earned our free-dom back!

Unfailingly, all of them fall in love. It is not the common sort of love. It is the kind which we never had the luxury to fall in; the all powerful, completely overwhelming, supremely passionate, highly unreasonable, and the ‘devil may care what happens’ kind!

Text and photo by Injila Baqir Zeeshan

I 55November 14 - 20, 2010

Your spread shows that this week will turn out to be much better than you expected – take advantage of the opportunities that come your way. Your diplomacy and tact will be of immense importance. Chil-dren’s needs will cost you more than you have anticipated. Spiritual activities will be high, which will give you energy and calm. Health and finances will need careful handling. Morning walk and little exercise should be encouraged to stay in perfect shape. The stone of the week is Ruby.

Your spread shows that this is a very good week and you will find comfort with your family and other relatives. You will easily learn new things because your mind is sharp and active. Some people will think that you did not achieve your goal this week but this thinking is far from the truth - time is in your favour. You should do things that will improve your health and looks. A new financial deal will get finalised and fresh money will roll in. Colour of the week is Yellow.

The ambition card Dec 22 - Jan 21

AFTAB/CAPRICORN

The self-card Jan 21 - Feb 19DUA/AQUARIUS

The sensitivity card Feb 20 - Mar 20JAL/PISCES

The aura card Mar 21 - Apr 20FIZA/ARIES

The strength card Jul 24 - Aug 23QUWAT/LEO

The growth card Jun 22 - Jul 23IRTIQA/CANCER

The love card May 22 - Jun 21

ASHIQ/GEMINI

The physical change card Apr21 - May21

WISAAL/TAURUS

This is very good week for you. Your spread shows that you will be the centre of attraction and everyone will recogniseyou. Take advantage of new opportunities that come your way. Romance will be in the air and you are certain to at-tract potential lovers. Do things to improve your skills. You will achieve favourable results if you present your ideas to superiors.

Your spread warns you not to neglect your health. Family tussle is resolved amicably. Listen to your judgment. Hard work will fetch results. A property deal will get finalised at the end of this week. Be careful while carrying heavy cash with you. Fairy speeches are favourable for politicians and debaters. Family ties tug at your heart. You may suffer stomach problems which need immediate attention – be careful of what you eat. Care is the key of this week for you.

Your spread shows that time will bless property deals; but weigh every move carefully before proceeding – don’t put savings at risk. Spend with care; financial position will be tight. Beware of misunderstandings with elders. Health is good this week. Youngsters should join a health club to keep their body fit. Creative people will do well in competitions. Avoid taking hasty decisions. Emphasis is on your trips to nearby places. Education will need more attention. You can achieve your goal by developing social ties with relatives.

Our spread indicates that this is very comfortable week for females. Promotion is ahead for government employees. Students need to focus on their education. Stay alert and careful to avert mishap. Family members will be very cooperative. A profitable opportunity will knock at your door. Subordinates will be very helpful in your daily routine and in personal af-fairs. Week is very good for sports and social activities. Hard work is the key of the week.

Your spread shows that your aptitude to learn new things would be remarkable. Your witty nature would brighten the environment around you. Social events will be perfect to im-prove your rapport with influential and important people. Some quarrelsome force will try to disrupt your calm energy. Speculation brings rewards and your seniors at workplace ap-preciate your efforts. Be careful, rash driving is very danger-ous. Increase in expenses will bother your mind. Domestic matters will require your attention at the end of the week.

Your spread shows that this week will be very hectic. You may welcome many guests and may have to cook for them. Outdoor activities are very good and exciting during this week. Money can come from unex-pected sources. Shopping for your relatives will give you calm and pleasure. Be careful while driving and stay calm when unhappy. Commu-nication is good for your career.

THE ZODIAC AND EASTERN TAROT By Mariam Aftab

Nov

embe

r14-

20,

201

0

56 I November 14 - 20, 2010

The patience card Aug 24 - Sep 23THEHRAO/VIRGO

The magician card Sep 24 - Oct 23SAHIR/LIBRA

The confusion card Oct 24 - Nov 22

INTISHAR/SCORPIO

The luck card Nov 23 - Dec 21KISMET/SAGITTARIUS

Tel: +92 (42) 35751231, 35710452Websites:www.mariamhealingcenter.com, www.innerstrengthhome.org

Celebrity Couples&

Compatibility

Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson

Rita WilsonOctober 26, 1956

Los Angeles, CaliforniaUnknown birth time

Sun Sign: ScorpioMoon Sign: Cancer or Leo

Tom HanksJuly 9, 1956

Concord, California11:17 am

Sun Sign: CancerMoon Sign: Leo

Q: My name is Imran and my date of birth is February 4, 1979. My question is, can I shift to Canada?

A: In my opinion you better stay here because your chances abroad are not that bright.

Mariam Aftab is a renowned healer offering self-help courses and counselling services. Readers can send in

their questions regarding any problems at mariamhealingcenter@gmail.com

Ask the Expert:

Mariam Aftab

Your spread says that you will have toface new challenges in your life this week.Health of your spouse or some other family member may cause worry. Travelling will be beneficial this week. A reorganisation of your work will give your career a boost. Delays and hardship at your workplace is indicated. A senior executive may ask you to take an important portfolio in mind this week. Financial position is comfortable. Colour of the week is Red.

Your spread shows that demand at work could keep you tied down and various responsibilities might really be weighing on you. If you ignore your duties and obligations, your boss, partner or mate is bound to give you a hard time, so don’t go looking for trouble this week. You should try not to take advantage of your position in society. It is also time for you to do some voluntary social work and help those who ap-proach you. Travel, if any, might get postponed due to un-expected reasons.

Spread indicates that sudden good news will bring happiness. Time is very good to re-assess your strength as you plan for a bright future. Romance and affairs of the heart will keep you occupied. Some people will try to force their opinions on you, but you will know how to tackle them. You have always trusted somebody who is not fair with you, so be careful. Fi-nancial position will improve. Health of your parents/elders might need some medical attention.

Your spread indicates that you will damage your reputation if you take hasty decisions. Adverse financial condition will cause you great deal of anxiety. Someone may try to cause you some harm. With strong forces working against you, you should avoid action, which could lead to confrontations. Trav-el undertaken for business purpose will yield excellent results. Managing your personal energy and time better will enhance your health. Stone of the week is Tourmaline.

In terms of life with Rita, Hanks is a dramatic and romantic partner who likes to take the dominant role in his relationship, showering his wife with gifts and other sweet indulgences to make her happy and adoringly appreciative

of his efforts. His Venus in Gemini signals that Hanks needs a relationship that challenges him intellectually. It

took him two marriages to get it right, but with Rita, Hanks seems to have found relationship bliss. Though they tend

to conduct their relationship outside the periphery of paparazzi and rumour, its safe to assume Rita is as quick-

witted as Hanks is.

I 57November 14 - 20, 2010

39 I November 14 - 20, 2010

Dear AA, I have an issue with people complaining about me. I am carefree and honest and when I get stuck in a difficult situation because of others it breaks my heart. I can’t handle it. Especially when it comes to practical life. Tell me what to do? Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken,A carefree attitude in life will lead you no where. You will end up in the kind of situations you are already facing. Being honest is a very good quality but it’s equally important to take responsibility. Be serious in life as you can’t shy away from such situations. It’s high time dear that you take charge of your life. When you get serious, others will also take you seriously.

Dear AA, I have an issue with arranged marriages. I want to marry out of love and not obligation. But the pressure from my parents’ side is too much. I am ageing but I have yet not found a lover. Being a woman it gets even more complicated in this society. What should I do? Hopelessly Romantic

Dear Romantic,It’s really good that you are very clear about what type of marriage you want. Once you are sure you don’t need to worry about anything else. Finding the perfect partner takes time. All you need to do is to trust Allah and have full faith that you will find the right man at the right time. And remember, age is just a number so have faith and wait for your mister right to come.

Dear AA, Whenever I have a fight with my friends or anyone else I cannot answer back with the wit that is required from a

clever yet contained person. I usually stay quiet and people then tread all over me. Please suggest a solution for this? Downtrodden

Dear Downtrodden,To remain quiet in quarrels is a very sensible thing to do and it can save you from many problems or at least calm down the heat, but the fact that people take advantage of you must be dealt with and it can be done only by gaining confidence which seems to be lacking in you at the moment. Try this technique: stand before the mirror and while looking into your own eyes communicate with yourself about things that you feel you can’t communicate to others. Repeating this exercise for a few times will give you that courage to speak up in front of others as well.

Dear AA, I am a graduate student and fell in love with a guy. He used me and then ditched me on the pretext that he had become a maulvi. I can’t seem to get over him. Tell me what to do? Can’t get over

Dear Over,It’s over. Heart breaks are always difficult and it takes time to get over them. But the sooner you accept it the sooner you will be out of your misery. Right now you are going through an emotional phase and the best way to handle emotions is by identifying them. Sitting with your eyes closed and focusing on your breath daily for ten minutes is another very easy and powerful way of overcoming your emotions.

58 I November 14 - 20, 2010