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MENTALLYFIT By Jude Bijou, MA, MFT

11WAYS TO LIVE A LONG, AWESOME LIFE

According to recent studies, happiness increases longevity. Many old wise beings confrm that having a positive attitude is a secret to feeling good, dealing with illness and keeping themselves active. Here are my own 11 suggestions that will help keep you young by increasing the amount of happiness you feel.

1HAVE GOOD COMMUNICATION; DON’T ARGUEWhen you need to speak up about an issue that’s

bothering you, adhere to Attitude Reconstruction’s

Four Rules of Good Communication: (1) Speak in

“I’s” – that is, talk about how you feel, rather than

blaming others; (2) Be specifc, and don’t over-generalize with

“always” or “never”; (3) Focus on kindness, not negativity; (4)

Truly listen to the other individual. With practice you will reap

undeniable benefts.

2DITCH YOUR NEGATIVE THINKINGGiving appreciations, praising and expressing

gratitude spreads good vibes. When you’re thinking

of saying something negative, look for what you

like, and focus on that. Studies show that gratitude

actually increases psychological and physical well-being.

3ABIDE BY THE THREE ULTIMATE ATTITUDESEach time you align your thoughts, words and deeds

with one or more of the following three attitudes,

the result will be a shot of joy, love and peace:

(1) Honor and love yourself; (2) Accept other people

and situations; and (3) Stay present and specifc.

4HANDLE EMOTIONS PHYSICALLY AND CONSTRUCTIVELYWhen you feel victimized or sad, just allow yourself

to cry; you’ll feel better and have more room to

experience joy. Don’t think or speak poorly of others

when you feel angry. Instead, move out the emotional energy

by hitting, stomping, pushing or yelling – in a safe place, of

course. When you are gripped by anxiety, worry, insomnia or

panic, make yourself shiver, quiver, tremble and shudder. It

seems silly but it really works.

5ACCEPT – DON’T FIGHT – WHAT ISAccept that “People and situations are the way they

are, not the way I want them to be,” and then take

the appropriate action. After accepting what is, you

can look within for direction about what’s true for

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you about the specifc situation. Now you will be able to speak up and take action with confdence.

6TAKE TIME OFF

Doing nothing gives you a break from all the activity and distractions, and lets your body and mind integrate your experiences. Taking time for your brain to rest contributes to happiness. Maybe that

means a solo hike or walk on the beach, maybe meditation, maybe nothing but vegging out and taking a nap.

7MOVE YOUR BODY

Walking is good. Exercise is good. Team sports are good. Too much sitting or sleeping is not great for our bodies, muscles, organs, bones and minds. Moving the body on a regular basis is what we

humans were built to do. That means not just moving from the bed to the kitchen table to the computer. Research shows that sitting is the new smoking when it comes to decreasing life expectancy.

8LAUGH OFTEN

Researchers are fnding that laughing releases stress, lifts our spirits and connects us with other people. We have a choice. We can laugh, we can cry, or we can be blasé and bored about the rich

surprises life presents.

9CREATE A BUCKET LIST

Start doing some of the things you’ve always wanted to do, and start now. We never know what tomorrow will bring, so it makes sense to treat ourselves well now because when we die, our

bucket list also expires. Of course, that means being fnancially responsible so you can continue to travel, take courses, learn a new skill/hobby or follow your dreams.

10 VOLUNTEER

Helping others or getting involved in some cause outside yourself is good for your heart and connects you to your world. Contributing to a group that holds similar

values is an excellent way to step outside of your own life, issues and preoccupations. Selfess giving is a guaranteed way to increase feelings of love.

11 JUST GET OVER IT!

Life’s too short to live in the past. If you want to enjoy the present and future and live a nice long life, let go of all your regrets, what ifs and spotty history – the injustices,

violations and hurts. As Don Henley so succinctly sings, “Get over it.” MS&F

Jude Bijou, MA, MFT, is a respected psychotherapist, professional educator and workshop leader. Her theory of "Attitude Reconstruction" evolved over the course of more than 30 years working with clients as a licensed marriage and family therapist, and is the subject of her award-winning book, Attitude Reconstruction: A Blueprint for Building a Better Life. Learn more at AttitudeReconstruction.com.

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