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The Personal The Personal Statement:Statement: Strategies for Strategies for

Supporting StudentsSupporting Students

UC Counselor Conference 2010UC Counselor Conference 2010

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OverviewOverview

• Purpose of statement in UC admissionsPurpose of statement in UC admissions

• Necessary information and skills Necessary information and skills for a strong personal statementfor a strong personal statement

• Understanding the taskUnderstanding the task

• Preparing students to writePreparing students to write

• Providing useful feedbackProviding useful feedback

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Purpose of the Purpose of the Personal StatementPersonal Statement

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Purpose of the Personal Purpose of the Personal StatementStatement

• Part of UC’s comprehensive review Part of UC’s comprehensive review processprocess

• Opportunity to provide information that Opportunity to provide information that supports and augments the review supports and augments the review processprocess

• Enables applicant to make the Enables applicant to make the best case best case possiblepossible for admission for admission

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• Adds clarity, depth and meaning to Adds clarity, depth and meaning to information collected in other parts of the information collected in other parts of the UC applicationUC application

• Completes the application for admissionCompletes the application for admission

• An admission decision will never be based An admission decision will never be based on the content of a personal statement on the content of a personal statement alonealone

Purpose of the Personal Purpose of the Personal StatementStatement

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A Message from UC FacultyA Message from UC Faculty

• While it is acceptable to receive feedback While it is acceptable to receive feedback or helpful suggestions, applicants’ or helpful suggestions, applicants’ personal statements should reflect their personal statements should reflect their own ideas and be written by them aloneown ideas and be written by them alone

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Understanding the Understanding the TaskTask

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The InstructionsThe Instructions

• Three rationale statements and Three rationale statements and questions (prompts)questions (prompts)• Your WorldYour World• Potential to contributePotential to contribute

• Word limitsWord limits• Two Responses: 1000 word maximumTwo Responses: 1000 word maximum• Recommended minimum of 350 wordsRecommended minimum of 350 words

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The PromptsThe Prompts

• Rationale statement: provides context Rationale statement: provides context for the responsefor the response

• Question: provides direction of the responseQuestion: provides direction of the response

• (Rationale statement available only for Prompt #2(Rationale statement available only for Prompt #2

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Question:Question:

• [Freshman Applicants][Freshman Applicants] Describe the world you come Describe the world you come from – for example, your family, community or school from – for example, your family, community or school – and tell us how your world has shaped your – and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.dreams and aspirations.

Prompt #1Prompt #1

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Potential to Contribute (#2)Potential to Contribute (#2)

Rationale: Rationale:

• The University welcomes the contributions The University welcomes the contributions and experience each student brings to the and experience each student brings to the campus learning community. This question campus learning community. This question seeks to determine an applicant’s academic seeks to determine an applicant’s academic or creative interests and potential to or creative interests and potential to contribute to the vitality of the University.contribute to the vitality of the University.

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Potential to Contribute (#2)Potential to Contribute (#2)

Question:Question:

• Tell us about a personal quality, Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person and how does it relate to the person you are?you are?

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Preparing Students to Preparing Students to WriteWrite

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Necessary SkillsNecessary Skills

• Think critically: even though students will Think critically: even though students will be writing about themselves, they need to be writing about themselves, they need to step back and look at their experiences step back and look at their experiences from the outsidefrom the outside

• Write analytically: writing analytically Write analytically: writing analytically means answering “why?”means answering “why?”

• Follow a writing process: brainstorming, Follow a writing process: brainstorming, drafting, feedback, revising, proofreadingdrafting, feedback, revising, proofreading

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Important StrategiesImportant Strategies

• Think like an admissions readerThink like an admissions reader

• Choose the extended prompt strategicallyChoose the extended prompt strategically

• Know the difference between a short-Know the difference between a short-answer response and an extended answer response and an extended responseresponse

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You Can Help Students…You Can Help Students…

• Understand the role of the personal statement in Understand the role of the personal statement in the admissions processthe admissions process

• Recognize the relationship between reader and Recognize the relationship between reader and writer writer

• Understand the reading and writing tasks of the Understand the reading and writing tasks of the personal statementpersonal statement

• Use a writing processUse a writing process

• Obtain appropriate feedbackObtain appropriate feedback

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Before Writing, Students Before Writing, Students Should…Should…

• Prepare a writing timelinePrepare a writing timeline

• Complete the UC applicationComplete the UC application

• Use the “Levels of Questions” strategy for Use the “Levels of Questions” strategy for the applicationthe application

• Determine the extended-response Determine the extended-response questionquestion

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Why ask questions of the Why ask questions of the application?application?

• Important to think critically about the Important to think critically about the application’s contentapplication’s content

• Helps students recognize personal and Helps students recognize personal and academic experiences as worthy of reflection academic experiences as worthy of reflection and analysisand analysis

• Connects the issues raised by the application Connects the issues raised by the application to the responses provided in the personal to the responses provided in the personal statementstatement

• Helps students fulfill the reader/writer pactHelps students fulfill the reader/writer pact

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The Reader-Writer RelationshipThe Reader-Writer Relationship

• When readers read critically (as admissions readers will do), they are asking questions, making observations and constructing interpretations of the information they are reading.

• A writer fulfills the pact with the reader by addressing these questions, observations and interpretations in the personal statement. Students can anticipate many of these questions, observations and interpretations by becoming critical readers of their own completed applications.

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Levels of Questions StrategyLevels of Questions Strategy

• Level one: What Level one: What does it say?does it say?

• Level two: What does Level two: What does it mean?it mean?

• Level three: Level three: Why/how does it Why/how does it matter?matter?

• Answers to L1 Answers to L1 questions provide questions provide details in paragraphsdetails in paragraphs

• Answers to L2 Answers to L2 questions are topic questions are topic sentences of sentences of paragraphsparagraphs

• Answers to L3 Answers to L3 questions are thesis questions are thesis statements of essaysstatements of essays

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From Prompt to Topic to From Prompt to Topic to Thesis Thesis

• Understand the key terms in the rationale Understand the key terms in the rationale statement statement and and question question

• Students should know their own questions Students should know their own questions and possible questions readers may raiseand possible questions readers may raise

• Develop a topic — the subject area — that Develop a topic — the subject area — that will be discussed in the responsewill be discussed in the response

• Draft a thesis — a point of view on the topic Draft a thesis — a point of view on the topic that addresses “why” that addresses “why”

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Our question: How have you taken advantage of the educational opportunities you have had to prepare for college?

Your topic: The role of Pre-College Academy in academic preparation

Your thesis: Asserts why and how PCA was a significant preparation experience

Question/Topic/Thesis Question/Topic/Thesis ExampleExample

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Determine Response TopicsDetermine Response Topics

• What topic will each response focus on?What topic will each response focus on?

• One topic per prompt!One topic per prompt!

• Is this topic the most persuasive? Does it Is this topic the most persuasive? Does it answer the most pressing questions related to answer the most pressing questions related to this prompt?this prompt?

• The prompt with the most questions associated The prompt with the most questions associated with it should be the extended response.with it should be the extended response.

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Short-Answer Short-Answer StrategiesStrategies

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Readers Want…Readers Want…

• Responses that get right to the pointResponses that get right to the point

• Specific, concrete examples and languageSpecific, concrete examples and language

• Adherence to word restrictionsAdherence to word restrictions

• Responses that complete the applicationResponses that complete the application

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Tips for Short-Answer Tips for Short-Answer ReponsesReponses

• Avoid irrelevant Avoid irrelevant background background informationinformation

• Understand meaning Understand meaning of key wordsof key words

• Ensure that response Ensure that response addresses what the addresses what the prompt asks forprompt asks for

• Make sure each Make sure each sentence advances sentence advances the argument the argument

• Avoid a collection of Avoid a collection of facts or examplesfacts or examples

• Use concrete details and Use concrete details and make them clear, rich make them clear, rich and meaningfuland meaningful

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Extended-Response Extended-Response StrategiesStrategies

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Readers Want…Readers Want…

• Organization and clarity, provided by a Organization and clarity, provided by a persuasive thesis, analytical topic persuasive thesis, analytical topic sentences, well-chosen examplessentences, well-chosen examples

• A response that supports and completes A response that supports and completes — by clarifying and contextualizing — the — by clarifying and contextualizing — the information in the applicationinformation in the application

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Thesis StatementsThesis Statements

• Concession (optional)Concession (optional)

• AssertionAssertion

• ReasonsReasons

• SignificanceSignificance

• The “but” to the “yes”The “but” to the “yes”• Although…Although…

• The argumentThe argument• This…This…

• The synthesis of The synthesis of supporting pointssupporting points• Because…Because…

• The “so what” of the The “so what” of the argument; implicationsargument; implications• As a result…As a result…

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Sample Thesis — Prompt 2 Sample Thesis — Prompt 2 (Extended)(Extended)

Although I do not plan to major in veterinary Although I do not plan to major in veterinary science,science, my experiences raising and caring for my experiences raising and caring for animals have helped me understand how animals have helped me understand how important animals are to human well-being.important animals are to human well-being. Because I have seen the result of human Because I have seen the result of human disregard for other forms of life, I am better able disregard for other forms of life, I am better able to appreciate the importance of ethical treatment to appreciate the importance of ethical treatment for all.for all. As a result, I will be able to contribute my As a result, I will be able to contribute my knowledge of animal preservation and my skill knowledge of animal preservation and my skill as an organizer to the campus environment.as an organizer to the campus environment.

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Writing ProcessWriting Process

• Brainstorm using levels of questionsBrainstorm using levels of questions

• DraftDraft

• Get feedback — give readers at least a Get feedback — give readers at least a week to respondweek to respond

• Revise for organization, clarity and Revise for organization, clarity and meaningmeaning

• ProofreadProofread

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How to Give Feedback to How to Give Feedback to StudentsStudents

• Request the application and the personal Request the application and the personal statement, not just the statementstatement, not just the statement

• Ask students to provide you with a list of Ask students to provide you with a list of questions they would like you to answerquestions they would like you to answer

• Comment on ideas and the level of Comment on ideas and the level of persuasiveness, not grammarpersuasiveness, not grammar

• Help students find readers who resemble Help students find readers who resemble their target audience their target audience

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Additional Resources for Additional Resources for StudentsStudents

• Online UC Personal Statement Tutorial for Online UC Personal Statement Tutorial for Students at Students at www.ucgateways.orgwww.ucgateways.org

• Six lessons that guide students through Six lessons that guide students through brainstorming, drafting, getting feedback and brainstorming, drafting, getting feedback and revisingrevising

• Activities to help students start early and stay Activities to help students start early and stay on taskon task

• Developed by EAOP admissions preparation Developed by EAOP admissions preparation specialistsspecialists