1 DEALING WITH ANGRY CUSTOMERS, CO- WORKERS AND RESIDENTS

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Slide 2 1 DEALING WITH ANGRY CUSTOMERS, CO- WORKERS AND RESIDENTS Slide 3 2 Department of Adult Education Lori Looney, Workplace Instructor Bluegrass Community and Technical College 164 Opportunity Way Lexington, KY 40511 859-246-6855 Slide 4 3 TRAINING SESSION OVERVIEW DISCOVER CAUSES AND GOALS OF ANGER DISCOVER CAUSES AND GOALS OF ANGER PLAY THE HOSTILITY GAME PLAY THE HOSTILITY GAME DEFUSE OTHERS ANGER DEFUSE OTHERS ANGER PLAN RESPONSE TO ANGER PLAN RESPONSE TO ANGER CONTROL HOSTILE ENCOUNTERS CONTROL HOSTILE ENCOUNTERS Slide 5 4 What Angry People Want They want what they want They want what they want They want help They want help They want choices They want choices They want acknowledgement They want acknowledgement I WANT. Slide 6 5 Why do people become hostile? Revert to primitive, instinctual behavior when threatened Revert to primitive, instinctual behavior when threatened Control/manipulate environment Control/manipulate environment Slide 7 6 The Rules of the Hostility Game Taking The Bait Rule 1: When attacked you will respond defensively. Rule 1: When attacked you will respond defensively. Rule 2: When attacked you will counterattack. Rule 2: When attacked you will counterattack. Slide 8 7 Other is ready to get angry Reactive, sensitive, feels powerless, fearful Feels depersonalized Feels unimportant The Hostility Game 1. Initial Contact Slide 9 8 The Hostility Game Bureaucratic (robotic, technical) Triggered (takes bait) Defensive (cold, terse) Passive (unhelpful) Impatient (lack of listening) 2. Employee Responses Slide 10 9 The Hostility Game Increased frustration Increased helplessness and fear Increased aggression Becomes more abusive 3. Others Reactions Slide 11 10 The Hostility Game Defends or counter-attacks More triggers Less self-control More aggressive or colder Even less helpful sounding Escalation to Crisis Loss of Control Violence Potential 4. Employee Reactions Slide 12 11 Beating the Hostility Game Slide 13 12 Overview of the Defusing Process The CARP System C ontrol (get them to stop & listen) C ontrol (get them to stop & listen) A cknowledge (ID feelings) A cknowledge (ID feelings) R efocus (agree to work on problem) R efocus (agree to work on problem) P roblem-Solve (ID problem; look for solutions) P roblem-Solve (ID problem; look for solutions) Slide 14 13 The Art of Self-Control Tactic 1: Identify your triggers Tactic 1: Identify your triggers Tactic 2: Slow down your responses Tactic 2: Slow down your responses Tactic 3: Take a time out Tactic 3: Take a time out Tactic 4: Im better than that Tactic 4: Im better than that Tactic 5: Im not getting suckered Tactic 5: Im not getting suckered Slide 15 14 Tactic 6: I wont pay the price Tactic 7: Put on their shoes Tactic 8: Observing Tactic 9: Preparing Tactic 10: Humor Tactic 11: Venting/not venting The Art of Self-Control Slide 16 15 Use Empathy Statements Usually short and to the point Allow the other to respond Use the broken record technique Dont use the word but Dont restate the obvious Be careful of your tone Dont use I Slide 17 16 Control & Acknowledge Countering Nonverbal Intimidation The Stand-Up Shuffle The Stand-Up Shuffle Confrontational Positioning Less Confrontational Positioning Right Angles Side by Side Slide 18 17 Control & Acknowledge Assertive Limit Setting Describe the Unacceptable Behavior Describe the Unacceptable Behavior Request Behavior Change Request Behavior Change State Consequences State Consequences Use Cooperative Language Use Enforceable Consequences Offer Choices Offer Choices Slide 19 18 Enforce Limits Enforce Limits Refer to the limits stated previously Request they comply with the consequence Offer further help Slide 20 19 Control & Acknowledge Time-Out Disengaging Disengaging allows for time for other to reflect allows you time to reflect and regain control Use plausible reasons Variations Slide 21 20 Planning for the Referral When does the supervisor want to be involved? What does the supervisor want to know about beforehand? When will supervisor be available for referrals? Any particular mechanics preferred? Slide 22 21 Refocus Transition from dealing with emotions to dealing with the actual problem Slide 23 22 Problem Solving What is Problem Solving? What is Problem Solving? Arriving at a decision regarding what you will do Taking into account the rules and the concerns of the other Slide 24 23 Telephone Hostility Use a Stronger Tone Use a Stronger Tone Use a Very Quiet Tone Use a Very Quiet Tone Stress the More Obvious Word Stress the More Obvious Word Use other Relevant Tactics Use other Relevant Tactics Slide 25 24 Intoxicated People Work to Termination Work to Termination Keep it Simple Keep it Simple Slide 26 25 TRAINING SESSION REVIEW DISCOVER CAUSES AND GOALS OF ANGER DISCOVER CAUSES AND GOALS OF ANGER PLAY THE HOSTILITY GAME PLAY THE HOSTILITY GAME DEFUSE OTHERS ANGER DEFUSE OTHERS ANGER PLAN RESPONSE TO ANGER PLAN RESPONSE TO ANGER CONTROL HOSTILE ENCOUNTERS CONTROL HOSTILE ENCOUNTERS