YEARS

1942 20172 22DIAMOND ANNIVERSARY

$2.00 March 1-7, 2018 / 14-20 Adar 5778 thejewishnews.com

Addiction touches nearly every

family. It’s time to talk about it

openly and without fear.

See page 12.

No One Is

Immune

JAMIE’S STORYJamie had struggled with an addiction to

prescription medication. With great effort,

his family worked tirelessly to get him help,

but it was always “one step forward, three

steps back,” Daniels says. 

She and former husband, Detroit Red

Wings announcer Ken Daniels, who will be

speaking about Jamie at an event March 7

at Temple Israel (see page 18) didn’t learn

about his problem with addiction until

December of his senior year at Michigan

State University. A friend told his sister

that Jamie was getting into stronger

prescription drugs.

“He didn’t want people to know

what he was going through. He was

afraid if people knew, they would

use it against him, even his peers,”

Daniels says.

Unlike the majority of families with

an addict, there was no predisposition

to the disease in Daniels’ family. “I didn’t

know what the signs were but, in hindsight,

I realized that from the time he was young,

he was often alone and said he felt like he

JACKIE HEADAPOHL MANAGING EDITOR

no ONE isNothing safeguards you

against addiction — not a

loving family, not wealth,

not faith, not age, not intel-

ligence, wisdom nor willpower.

Addiction can overcome anybody

and, once it has you in its steely

grip, it can cost you your health,

your family, your home, your live-

lihood and even your life.

Jamie Daniels paid that ulti-

mate price, dead at 23 from an

opiate overdose while he was in

the midst of a recovery program.

His mother, Lisa Daniels of West

Bloomfield, has been left “bro-

ken,” she says, “and the only thing

that will partially repair me is

to know that people like Jamie,

young people struggling with

addiction, get the help they need.

They’ve got to be able to speak

up and get help without being

shunned, without fear of being

labeled an addict for the rest of

their lives.”

The alternative — silence —

only exacerbates the problem. “I

didn’t tell anybody,” Daniels says.

“None of my friends knew what

was going on. None of my family

knew. We didn’t share what Jamie

was going through. Now it’s time

to stop that. If we had, maybe

Jamie would be alive today.”

on the cover

jews din the

12 March 1 • 2018 jn

ImmuAddiction touches nearly every

family. It’s time to talk about it

openly and without fear.

March 1 • 2018 13jn

ABOVE: Lisa Daniels

is determined to get

young people the help

they need to battle

addiction in honor of

her late son, Jamie

Daniels.

s

never fit in. Maybe he was depressed. I do

know that he suffered from depression for a

while before his death.”

 She does know that at age16, Jamie gave a

self-diagnosis to a therapist as having ADD

and asked for Adderall. “He did not have

ADD,” Daniels says. “He eventually told me he

intentionally answered the questions wrong

on the ADD test. It was that easy. He was

struggling with something at 16, but Adderall

was not the answer; it may have been the

beginning of something terrible.”

Jamie continued to take Adderall through

college. His family doesn’t know when he

turned to opiates. “They were easily obtain-

able on campus and, by the time he gradu-

ated, he couldn’t stop,” she says.

She watched him try to detox himself sev-

eral times. On three occasions, he was taken

to the emergency room during an acute crisis,

only to be discharged hours later with no

long-term plan. They finally found a therapist

Jamie liked, who guided him toward getting

the medical help he needed.

During his most difficult crisis to date,

Jamie called his therapist who recommended

he go directly to the emergency room to be

admitted to a 12-day detox program.

The hospital let him out two days early.

“From there, they wanted Jamie to move

into a sober living facility here in Michigan,

but after speaking with Jamie’s therapist, we

agreed to send him to a private rehab center

in Florida.”

Jamie, still under his father’s health insurance,

went to Palm Beach County, Fla., for treatment.

He first spent a month at the Beachway Therapy

Center, then moved on to a sober living house

with a strong reputation in Delray.

Jamie’s sister, Arlyn, drew the symbol on this necklace

as a tribute to her brother and had it tattooed on her.

It is a half-moon of music notes, and each star has

one of his initials (JRD). “I think it was Arlyn’s way

of knowing Jamie is still watching over her.”

— LISA DANIELS

sponsored by our community partner:

muneRUDY THOMAS

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AS

14 March 1 • 2018 jn

He was sober, attended outpatient treatment meet-

ings and eventually got a job working as a law clerk.

“At work he was doing well, but, at home on his own,

he was depressed,” Daniels says.

Florida has become the nation’s recovery capital

with more than 400 sober living homes in Palm Beach

County alone. These homes are linked with outpa-

tient treatment programs, doctors and labs. Some

owners, realizing there is more money to

be made from a relapsed individual

with insurance, pay “body brokers”

to lure individuals in recovery into

specific sober homes with offers of

gifts, or in Jamie’s case, rent covered

completely by insurance. Jamie had

become the victim of “patient bro-

kering.”

Nine days after transferring to this new

sober home, Jamie died of a drug overdose.

The Daniels family tried to piece together the last

week of Jamie’s life. They learned the doctor this home

sent him to had prescribed a new medication for his

anxiety, the highly addictive Xanax. “They set him up

to fail,” Daniels says. 

On. Dec. 7, 2016, just four days after he was pre-

scribed the Xanax, Jamie ingested heroin laced with

fentanyl (a synthetic opioid 50 times stronger than

heroin). It shocked his heart and killed him. “We don’t

know how or when he got the drugs,” Daniels says. “No

medications or drugs were found at the scene.”

The Daniels didn’t find out about the corrupt nature

of the home Jamie was in until months after his death.

However, after speaking with the insurance company

and the drug task force detectives, it was determined

that most of the charges from two of the three sober

homes Jamie lived in were fraudulent.

Daniels estimates that the fraudulent charges to the

insurance company were between $55,000 and $60,000.

Approximately two weeks after Jamie’s death, they

learned the owner of the last house Jamie lived in had

been under investigation. Eventually, he was convicted

and is now serving 27 years in prison.

Daniels wants others to be aware of this danger in

the billion-dollar industry of addiction and let them

know it’s not just happening in Florida. “Jamie’s ability

for successfully beating his addiction was taken away

from him because he was manipulated,” she says.

She adds that addiction did not define the life of her

son, however. “He was a beautiful soul: loving, caring

and compassionate. He loved and protected his sis-

ter, Arlyn. They were the best of friends. He called his

Bubbie just to chat and always ended each phone call

with ‘love you.’ He would have helped anyone at any

time.” 

ADAM’S STORYIt is only random luck that Adam’s story doesn’t end

When To Seek Help Lisa Kaplan is program coordinator for commu-nity education at Maplegrove Center, which pro-vides inpatient and intensive outpatient addiction treatment for adults and intensive outpatient programs (IOP) for youth up to age 18 and their parents.

Kaplan runs the parent program of the IOP, and she says the first step for parents is “not to

be in denial. Addiction gets worse over time. Early inter-vention is the key.”

Parents need to be aware of what their kids are doing, she says. “In a lot of cases, kids are using right under their parents’ noses, and parents write it off to normal teenage behavior.

“Many parents say they behaved the same way when

they were kids, but what they don’t know is that it’s more dangerous for today’s kids. Marijuana today is way more dangerous; the THC level is much higher than ever before, causing addic-tion and mental health problems that didn’t exist when they were kids.”

If parents suspect their child is a chronic user, the first step is to have the child evaluated by an adolescent therapist who has experience with substance abuse. That person will recommend detox, if needed, and a treatment program.

Maplegrove’s intensive outpatient program involves three hours per day, three days per week for six weeks. Teens undergo group ther-apy, educational lectures and workshops taught by adolescent peer mentors to learn about the 12-step programs. Parent attendance is manda-tory two days per week. Parents participate in psychoeducational support groups, educational lectures and also learn about 12-step programs by adult peer mentors.

Therapy is not the cure-all, Kaplan says. “Addiction is a chronic illness and people who are not ready for recovery are going to continue to use,” she says. “We have kids who come in — because they’re required to — with no intention of becoming clean or sober. Our goal for these patients is to move them further down the continuum to a higher stage of readiness through education and therapy.”

A 12-step program is also an important part of treatment, both for the addicts and their fam-ily. “Kids have a higher chance of succeeding in recovery if parents are also in a recovery program like Al-Anon, Nar-Anon or Families Anonymous. You can find meetings at familiesanonymous.org, which attracts parents of teens and young adults.”

Maplegrove also offers educational and sup-port groups for family members of people who have problems with alcohol or other drugs. They are free and open to all, not just families being treated in their programs. For more information about Maplegrove’s community education pro-grams, contact Lisa Kaplan or a member of the community education staff at (248) 661-6170.

jews din the

Lisa Kaplan

continued on page 16

16 March 1 • 2018 jn

like Jamie’s. Adam, now 27, has been struggling with sub-

stance abuse, depression and anxiety since high school.

(Adam is not his real name — he wishes to remain anony-

mous because he still fears the stigma of addiction.)

“My drug and alcohol use began at a young age when my

friends and I began experimenting with alcohol, often taking

it from our parents’ liquor cabinets,” he says. “The alcohol

made me feel better about myself. It made me more comfort-

able in social situations.”

Adam says he always felt different from his friends. “My

parents were divorced, and all of my friends’ parents were

still together,” he says. “This made me self-conscious in social

situations such as birthdays and graduations, etc. My parents

didn’t know I was experimenting with drugs, but they knew I

was feeling unhappy and insecure.”

He graduated from a local high school and headed off to

Michigan State University. That’s when he was introduced to

harder drugs. “That first semester was tough. I was unhappy.

I felt inferior to my friends who had been accepted into

University of Michigan. Once I got into a fraternity, I felt

much more comfortable.” Being a part of a fraternity also accelerated his drug use. “I

was exposed to harder drugs and started experimenting,” he

says. “Once you get to college, drugs are just one phone call

away.”

At first, Adam took the drugs just to party, “but they

seemed to have a different effect on me than my friends. It

was almost as if a part of my soul had been broken and never

healed. Chemicals did it for me. They relieved anxiety. They

made me more confident, more sociable. Nobody would have

known I was struggling with depression.”

He says his drug use picked up through college, and he

began using drugs every day. He maintained a 3.6 GPA. “That

made it worse for me. I was getting accolades. It looked like

my life was on a good path, but I was struggling, and my fam-

ily didn’t know.”

He got accepted to law school in another state. This is

when his drug use really became a problem. He did not

understand how depressed he truly had become. He tried to

get sober on his own when he was 22. “But I didn’t know how

far along I was in my addiction. I started sneaking around,

disappearing for hours in the day, not being connected with

anyone. I was using Oxycontin every day,” he says.

By his second year in law school, he told his parents about

his problem and began seeing a therapist. “I stopped taking

Oxy because it was expensive and started using Xanax more,”

he says. “More commonly, people go to heroin after Oxy,

but growing up in the West Bloomfield Jewish community, I

believed my life would never get to that point.”

After law school, he moved back home with his parents,

saw a therapist, enrolled in intensive outpatient therapy

but didn’t go back after the first session. “I’m thinking, ‘I’m

Jewish. I come from a well-to-do family. I’m successful. People

in my position do not have drug problems.’ I struggled with

accepting the problem I had.”

He got a job at a law firm, but his drug use was an everyday

thing. “I was in a haze, using Xanax off the street.” He tried to

quit cold turkey and suffered a mental psychosis. “I was will-

ing to go to rehab but was not ready to get sober,” he says.

The shock factor kept him clean for two months and then

he started taking Oxy again. “No one knew,” he says. He began

to use heroin. “However, because I was not using it intrave-

nously, I was in denial about the depths of my addiction.”

Eventually, his drug use progressed to a point where he

was no longer functioning and things such as his work and

his social life had begun to deteriorate. This is when he quit

cold turkey and became deathly sick, prompting him to ask

his parents for help. He was sent to an inpatient facility in

Florida for two months. He got out in October and has been

sober for six months.

Adam’s family is very supportive and play a vital role in his

continued sobriety; however, the shame is something both he

and his family still deal with. “Everyone’s parents talk about

how great their kids are, how they’re succeeding,” he says.

“My family was in a dark place and couldn’t reach out. It’s the

pressure of living in West Bloomfield, I guess.”

Adam attends Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and is in

group therapy, trying to understand his addiction and the

shame that comes along with it.

He stresses that he could not recover without the under-

standing, love and support of his friends, community and

family.

“The only reason I am here today is because of my sup-

port system and their belief in me,” he says. “I want people to

know that in order to recover, you need to be able to ask for

help. The biggest obstacle to recovery for me was my inability

to ask for help because of the unfounded stigma that exists in

our community.

“God-willing, I hope I hit my rock bottom,” he says. “But

this is a chronic disease and I’m sure things could get

continued from page 14

continued on page 18

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“Chemicals did it for me. They relieved anxiety. They made me more confident,

more sociable.”

— ADAM

Alan Bishop, owner of Mr. Alan’s Shoes, has struggled with addiction throughout his life. Along the way, he met the love of his life, got married, had kids and built a business. During it all, he says, he felt “less-than” and used alcohol to make him feel more comfortable around others. With the help of his wife, he was able to stop. But after his eventual divorce, he started drinking again. “I enjoyed it for many years until I

picked up a bad illness.”About 12 years ago, Bishop learned

he had tinnitus, and the pain drove him mad. His doctor prescribed Xanax. “I asked if I would get addicted. He said, ‘Absolutely, but don’t worry, I’ll supply you forever.’”

The Xanax helped, and Bishop’s life improved greatly for many years; all the while he also drank. “It got to the point where I always made sure I had enough

Xanax; I would get the shakes if I didn’t have it. I had them in my coat, in my car, everywhere.”

About five years ago, the siren in his head from tinnitus came back and the pain was worse than ever. He went to a facility in California where he found strength to get clean and carry on. There, he started to go to 12-step meetings. “I started hearing others’ stories and realized my story was just the same. I was no different than them.”

Slowly but surely, he got better. “I went home and was scared out of my mind to be part of the community again and embarrassed to have an addiction, embarrassed that I had gone to rehab, and I didn’t want to leave my house.”

He was told for the best chance at recovery he should attend 90 meetings in 90 days, so he did. “I picked the best sponsor, a Jewish doctor, a little tough on me but nice at the time. He got me through the steps.”

Bishop still has tinnitus, but he’s learned tools in AA to help with the pain. “I live a completely normal life with it. I meditate, pray, read and refocus myself from the noise.”

Bishop has been sober for five years and, during that time, he’s helped 10 mostly Jewish men with their sobriety and he’s also seen a lot of people die. “I see a young person die once a month from heroin and that’s horrific. My goal is to help other people. That’s why I’m talking in the Jewish News. Addiction is not an exclusive disease. It can attack every family.” He invited anyone to reach out to him at abishop6983@gmail.com if they want to talk.

ROBERT’S STORYRobert Rotenberg, 63, secretary-treasurer at General Mill Supply Company, has been sober since June 10, 2014. He’d been drinking heavily since he was a teenager and tried a “little bit of everything except heroin.”

His addiction didn’t begin controlling his life until he was in his 50s. “I knew I was doing things that were not OK, like

drinking late at night, early in the morn-ing and anytime else. I would say I forgot something, so I could go take a couple of gulps from a bottle.”

As his addiction progressed, he began breaking promises to his family and to himself. “I would wake up thinking how long could I go without drinking. It was 7 a.m.”

He was miserable and lost. Four years ago, he walked into an AA meeting

where he saw Alan Bishop, someone he had known since Hebrew school. “I said, ‘You, too?’ He said, ‘Me, too,’ and we hugged,” Rotenberg says. “I went to meetings for a while but still had not surrendered.”

Eventually, he became more and more disgusted with how alcohol had taken over his life and checked into an inpatient recovery center. It changed his life. “I accepted that I was an alcoholic and would be until I take my last breath. I became comfortable sharing my story with family and friends who’ve always been very supportive. I have no inter-est in living a lie.”

By sharing his story, he hopes to help young people deal-ing with addiction and sharing that there is a way out. “Like Alan, I want to help. I’ve seen too many young people die since I started going to meetings,” he says.

He says if he could, he would tell his teenage self to do a reality check. “Denial is a formidable enemy. I was trapped in it for many years. Most of us were unable to see how obsessed we were becoming,” he says. “Addiction can hap-pen quickly. Try to notice the signs.”

He says that if young people don’t want to talk to him, he knows people in their 20s he can connect them with. “When all you really want to do is use or only want to be with peo-ple who want to use, you’re going down a dangerous road,” he says. “It’s a living hell. There is a way out. But you have to want the way out, which is being ready to surrender.”

You can reach out to Robert at brote@comcast.net. •

Advice From Those Who’ve Been There

Alan Bishop Robert Rotenberg

18 March 1 • 2018 jn

“I’m hopeful because she’s alive.

Where there’s life, there’s hope.”

— JILL SHERMAN MARX

worse if I went back to using.

“My life has made a complete 180 in the right

direction. I have not felt this healthy, both mentally

and physically, in the past eight years,” he adds. “I

am now back to working as an active lawyer and

look forward to the rest of my life. I want to leave

this chapter of my life behind me; however, I never

want to forget it either because it’s what has got-

ten me to this point.”

JADE’S STORYJade Marx, 21, grew up with her twin brother and

two younger siblings in West Bloomfield. She was

a typical kid, involved in BBYO, at Temple Israel

and had her bat mitzvah. She was an amazing

athlete, excelling at softball. She’s been struggling

with addiction since she was 13.

Her parents enrolled her in Frankel Jewish

Academy her sophomore year after she had been

hanging out with a rough crowd the year before at

North Farmington High. “Her brother was already

there. We thought putting her in FJA would be the

magic,” says her mom, Jill Sherman Marx, who

works as a fitness instructor.

Soon after, Marx got a phone call from the

school social worker because Jade was self-harm-

ing, cutting. “I knew about this behavior from

one of my clients,” Marx says. “I

understood it was a self-sooth-

ing behavior, but I was horrified

that my daughter was doing it.”

A short time later, Jade threat-

ened suicide. That began a

vicious cycle of numerous visits

to the ER and mental hospitals.

Jade admitted to using drugs,

and her problems continued to

grow worse. During her senior

year, she got in trouble with the

police and was sentenced to pro-

bation, drug classes and com-

munity service but wasn’t taking

it seriously, her mom says.

“I knew we had to get her

help, but there were no inpatient

treatment centers in Michigan

that would take a 17-year-old,”

Marx says. She and her former

husband, Darrell Marx, found a treatment center

in Hawaii willing to take their daughter. It was a

30-month program.

“I can’t tell you how agonizing it was to send my

child away for 30 months, but it was the only way I

could help her,” she says.

jews din the

Jill Sherman Marx

Darrell Marx

A Community

Conversation On Th e

Opioid Epidemic

Temple Israel presents the Alicia Joy

Techner Memorial Parenting Conference.

The opioid epidemic affecting the entire Metro

Detroit community will be the subject of the

annual Alicia Joy Techner Memorial Parenting

Conference Wednesday, March 7, at Temple Israel.

Held since 1979, the Alicia Joy Techner Memorial

Parenting Conference seeks to bring the Southeast

Michigan community together for

public conversations about modern

parenting challenges. The series is

sponsored by Ilene and David Techner

of Birmingham in memory of their

beloved daughter Alicia, and is open

to the community and presented at

no cost for attendees (though advance

registration is requested).

Detroit Red Wings TV announcer

Ken Daniels, who lost his son Jamie

to addiction, will speak at the event,

entitled “If Only I Had Known.” It is

designed to share personal stories

from a variety of perspectives so par-

ents can feel more informed, empow-

ered and educated about the opioid

crisis and how it is undoubtedly

affecting families they know.

Other scheduled speakers include

Steve Feldman, COO of Feinberg

Consulting/Feinberg Addiction

Services; West Bloomfield Police Chief

Michael Patton; and the Hon. Edward

Sosnick, Oakland County Circuit

Court Judge (retired).

“Alicia Joy Techner would have

been 40 years old last year,” said David

Techner, funeral director at the Ira

Kaufman Chapel in Southfield. “Ilene

and I take great pride in knowing that

the community members who will

benefit from this conference would

have been Alicia’s peers and friends,

alongside her siblings. These resourc-

es, in her memory, will help them with

the balance of challenge and reward

that comes from the parenting experi-

ence.”

Kari Provizer, director of the Robert

Sosnick Family Life Center at Temple

Israel, said, “We appreciate the

Techners stepping forward to make

possible an event that will call atten-

tion to a community crisis that is still

not achieving enough attention.”

The free event begins at 7 p.m.

at Temple Israel, located at 5725

Walnut Lake Road, just east of

Drake Road, in West Bloomfield.

Registration is requested via Kate Boman at

(248) 661-5700 or kate@temple-israel.org. •

Ken Daniels

Steve Feldman

Chief Michael

Patton

Hon. Edward

Sosnick

David Techner

ANTHONY LANZILOTE

continued from page 16

Jade Marx at the motel

where she’s staying

March 1 • 2018 19jn

Original Research by Walter L. Field Sponsored by Irwin S. Field Written by Jared Sichel

“My son, the Nobel prize winner!”

The Jewish scientists who found the keys to our body’s defenses.

ELIE METCHNIKOFF (1845-1916). b. Panasovka, Russia. Nobel Prize in Physi-ology or Medicine 1908. White blood cells — our first line of defense.

After obtaining his four-year natural sciences degree in only two years at Kharkiv University, Elie Metchnikoff began work in a private lab in Messina, Italy in 1882. There, he noticed a reaction in starfishes when he stuck small thorns into them—white cells would inflame the affected area and then surround, attack, and literally devour the invader. These defensive cells were named “phagocytes,” and although Metchnikoff’s findings were initially met with skepticism, he was awarded a Nobel Prize in 1908 for his discovery of this key element of organisms’ innate immune system—the body’s first line of defense. Metchnikoff’s research into lactic acid also began the widely popular probiotics move-ment. He theorized that ingestion of certain bacteria—often found in types of yogurt and milk—could prolong life.

OTTO LOEWI (1873-1961). b. Frankfurt, Germany. Nobel Prize in Physiology or

Medicine 1936. Identifying how our brain communi-cates with our body.

Initially an aspiring clinician, Otto Loewi switched to re-search after he arrived at the painful conclusion that mod-ern medicine had no treatment for people with advanced tuberculosis and pneumonia. That shift revolutionized human medicine. Loewi, bucking the conventional scientific wisdom of his time, discovered that neurons can communicate with each other through chemical reactions—not only electrical signals. This discovery of neurochemical transmission was

instrumental in pharmacology, pathology, psychiatry, and countless other medical fields. Sus-pecting that chemicals played an intimate role in neuro-communication, Loewi took two beat-ing frog hearts and covered them both in saline solution. He stimulated the vagus nerve of one of the hearts, thus slowing down its heart rate. He then transferred some of the saline from that heart on to the other heart, which in turn slowed down that heart’s rate, proving that there was a chemical—not only an electric impulse—released by the vagus nerve that impacted cell and neuron behavior. That chemical, or neurotransmitter, is now known as acetylcholine.

JOSHUA LEDERBERG (1925-2008). b. Montclair, New Jersey. Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine 1958. Explaining bacterial resistance. Graduating high school at 15 and receiving his Nobel Prize only 18 years later, Joshua Led-erberg’s genetic research made him one of molecular biology’s foundational scientists. A zoologist and doctor by training, Leder-berg bucked most scientists of his time, who believed that bacteria pass down exact genetic copies to their offspring. In the late 1940s Lederberg showed that bacteria transfer and share DNA among themselves, creating offspring with different genes that are better adapted for that specific environment. The discovery had massive implications for biotechnol-ogy, genetics, and pharmacology, particularly in understanding how bacteria develop resis-tance to drugs. Lederberg went on to chair the genetics department at Stanford, write regular science columns for the Washington Post, and advise several U.S. presidents and NASA.

Jewish Contributions to Humanity

#8 in a seriesBecause Jade was a minor, the

treatment center said that if she ever

threatened suicide, they would have

to send her home. After the first week,

that is exactly what Jade did. “I was

scared and angry because this was

her one opportunity and she was

blowing it,” she says.

After Jade was sent home, she spent

two nights in jail for violating her

probation. She never returned to FJA,

instead enrolling in an online school

to earn her high school diploma.

Meanwhile, her drug use continued.

“She was a heroin user, an anything

user,” Marx says. “She has no fear for

herself. She’s suffered severe infec-

tions, lost the use of her hand on two

occasions, and overdosed and sur-

vived several times.”

She and Darrell have learned that

they can’t bail Jade out. “In the earlier

years,” says Darrell Marx, “your par-

enting instincts kick in and you want

to do whatever you can to help. But

we learned that the more we bailed

her out, the worse she would get; but

it’s still not easy.”

He recalls a time that Jade was liv-

ing with him and broke the rules. “I

told her she had to go. I sent her out

in wintertime to fend for herself,” he

says. “I didn’t want to, but I knew I

needed to.”

Jade has been to at least six differ-

ent facilities and hospitals so far, try-

ing to beat her addiction. Her longest

sobriety has lasted six months.

“It’s usually when I’m feeling super

lonely and fed up with life — just

feeling miserable — that I decide to

get clean for a while,” says Jade, who

works at a factory in New Baltimore, a

job she enjoys.

Although her mother considers her

to be “homeless,” Jade disagrees. She

is not sleeping in the street or in a car,

she says, but at a motel in Roseville

with a friend.

The spiral of addiction is hard to

explain, she says. The same reasons

she cites for wanting to get clean

are similar to the ones she cites for

relapsing. “Boredom and depression,”

she says. “That first time taking drugs

makes it go away, but by the next

day, I’m miserable again and feeling

trapped.”

Jade says she’s been sober from

street drugs for a few weeks. She quit

on her own, cold turkey, and is not

working any 12-step program at the

time. She does continue to see a psy-

chiatrist though. “I’m doing OK,” she

says. “I work a lot, which helps.”

She and her parents maintain a

good relationship, talking to each

other almost every day. “I think

they’ve done their best by me,” Jade

says. “I’m glad they go to Al-Anon

(a 12-step program for families of

addicts). It seems to help.”

Darrell Marx says he supports Jade

when she does anything positive in

her life. “I want to fix things for her,

but I can’t. I can only support her. I

have to let her figure it out. But when

she’s ready, she knows I’m here for

her.”

Jill Sherman Marx says she’s not giv-

ing up on her daughter. “I’m hopeful

because she’s alive. Where there’s life,

there’s hope.”

She encourages anyone in the com-

munity struggling with addiction in

their family to reach out to her at

ainjill@aol.com if they want to talk.

Jade has high hopes for beating

addiction as well. “I have to take it day

by day and just stay in the moment,”

she says. “Looking into the future

and saying, ‘I’m going to be clean and

sober for the rest of my life’ stresses

me out too much.”

ELIMINATING THE STIGMA“Jamie’s story, Adam’s and Jade’s are

just a few of many stories that need

to be told to make a change,” Daniels

says. “The Jewish community needs

to open up and forget the stigma of

what you think an addict is. It is not

a weakness. It’s a disease.

“We can’t be afraid to speak up

anymore. Even Jamie recognized the

more your family and close friends

are aware of your struggles, the more

they can contribute to supporting

your efforts to overcome them.”

Marx adds, “Addiction is a crisis in

our world. I do need to talk about it,

and I hope other people are listening.

There’s no shame. No stigma.”

According to Lisa Edelson, a thera-

pist at Birmingham Maple Clinic,

“The stigma is going away very slow-

ly, but it takes an educated public for

it to go away completely. The more

people feel ashamed and don’t seek

treatment, the longer it will take.”

Edelson defines an addict as a per-

son who feels compelled to engage

in behavior regardless of the damage

it creates and in spite of knowing it

is unhealthy and dysfunctional —

someone who has tried to stop the

behavior and can’t and feels power-

less to control themselves. “When

they go untreated, they get worse,”

Edelson says. “It’s not the fault of the

patients.”

Now is the time to talk about the

crisis of addiction and where families

can seek treatment, according to

Daniels.

“People all around us are strug-

gling and need help from our com-

munity. That is the first step,” she

says. “Let’s rally together to help

our kids, mothers, fathers, grand-

parents — addiction doesn’t dis-

criminate, and everyone is vulner-

able. Until we step up as a Jewish

community, we’re going to lose

more people like Jamie.” •